The Dwellers Post Issue No 3

BOB EAGER Presents the CHARISMA CORNER

PART 1
CHARISMA CORNER CRASH AND BURN
There are no heroes left in the world only bad and worse guys. Every once in a while there is a light that shines down on the world and people want to believe. However, the deceptive types have taken over and it is up to the few noble pedestrians to decipher which direction is even worse. And in this world nobody knows what is real or imagined. The sensationalism of television has been blurred by the notion of kayfabe a term in professional wrestling that is defined as the suspension of disbelief.
Bob Eager lives his life confusing people by this notion. Every time he starts a fight with his 'guests' is it for real or part of the show. Could he be in cahoots with his arch nemesis possibly or is it just an act? Eager smiles at this confusion. And he loves this type of confrontation.
Mr. Eager started out his career as a self-help infomercial guru. His brief statement about staying out of the 'Trailer Park State of Mind' was seen as being mean spirited. Bob countered that it was only an attack on himself and his youthful slacker attitude. He is a changed man at least as far as his personal ambition is concerned. Some of his ideas started out successful but when he began his spiritual eating adventure, people stopped paying attention. "No Backtracking the Whole Enchilada," his counterclockwise eating method failed to excite his fading mediocrity.
Bob has a regular show called the "Charisma Corner". His guests feel his wrath of course unless they are fellow conspirators.
EPISODE 1 Paranormal Activity University
"Do you have what it takes to appear on my show? If you have to ask, you probably don't." Bob Eager exclaims glaring at his audience. The audience boos him but he seems oblivious.
"Charisma Corner is a talk show all about confrontation. Whose side is the audience going to be on? One thing is for certain not Mr. Eager's." The announcer reads cowering ready to be hit with foreign objects.
Eager is always dressed the same. He wears a yellow polo collared shirt which represents the color of caution. His blue tinted sunglasses supposedly symbolize tranquility. He likes to refer to the song, "Behind Blue Eyes", because no one knows what it is like. Yes he feels that he is always the perpetual victim. He smiles looking at the audience that is completely beneath him. Eager smirks and takes his microphone from his belt, whips it out like a gun. "My first guests are from that teeny bopper show 'Paranormal Activity University'. Here is Yvonne, a blood sucking vampire and Natasha, an energy drainer. First before we bring them out let's take a look at a clip."
Eager turns to the camera points his finger to a cheap projection screen, a TV clip is shown.
2 / 9
"OMG, can't believe GOTHSTINK is coming in concert." Yvonne says rolling her eyes in ecstasy.
She is dressed in a uniform black shirt white skirt. She is talking to another girl from the
Academy. For some reason the girls are texting each other and talking to each other in the same room. Natasha is wearing the direct opposite white shirt and black skirt.
"LOL, they're the best band around." Natasha replies texting her friend and talking to her at the same time.
"What did you learn in Energy Draining?" Yvonne asks although seemingly not really interested
Before she can answer, "I had this terrible test in Hypnosis 101."
Suddenly a professor walks over. "Hello ladies are we getting along. At this school we teach you all about opportunity. Concentrate, use your energy productively and effectively." He pauses, "Against young boys." The laugh track oddly plays in and out not making sense. The professor walks away in silence, oddly, as if this scene never should have been in the first place.
Back to the talk show Eager looks at the faded production screen.
"What a stupid show. The only reason I have you two bimbos on is Ratings. Pure and simple." Eager pauses, points at them in an abusive manner. "But you two really are types of vampires. Is that correct baby cakes"?
"Yes we are. I suck the life fluid out of an unsuspecting victim. Even idiots like you Eager. You just don't like it cause' you're old," Yvonne snaps back.
"Yeah it's not for those forty five year olds," Natasha giggles.
Eager glances over at them. His ego completely ignores them as they desperately try to get under his skin.
"Not to change the subject. And not to cause controversy. But. Well, I heard a rumor that you two don't really get along." Bob Eager smiles
Yvonne smirks. "I am the star of the show."
"Back stabbing blood sucking whore." Natasha screams
"Energy draining slut." Yvonne pounces on Natasha. She hits her with a right and a left. She then goes straight for her neck.
Bob Eager makes swinging motions. Instead of speaking, he says it with his arms telling them to hit each other more. Eager smiles, nothing could be better for ratings then an "undead catfight".
Natasha looks at Eager. "Mr. Eager on the show we are forced to get along."
"Well listen who cares. We all love a good fight. It's painfully obvious that the both of you are dumb broads."
3 / 9
Yvonne rushes for Eager's neck. She punctures his jugular although some blood pours out he quickly recovers.
Natasha concentrates. Eager feels his energy draining. It looks as if Eager is going down for the count.
Suddenly, Mr. Eager rises up. "His over-inflated ego is too strong," Natasha says. Yvonne nods, both have the same expression of confusion and fear. It feels as if there has been an explosion, the two girls fly back to a point of almost unconsciousness.
Eager grabs both of their heads knocks them together. He punches Natasha in the face. He kicks Yvonne in the stomach. The two ladies are unconscious.
Eager turns to the camera. He wipes his hands clean. "That about does it for this episode."
Mr. Eager looks at the camera, nods. The picture fades. Same time next week.
The caption should read, 'The worst is yet to come.'
Interlude
INVASION OF YOUR PRIVACY
Bus Stop Interrogation
Mr. Eager yells for a camera guy to follow him. Near a bus stop a young kid waits for the bus oblivious to the oncoming onslaught. Eager walks up to him points his finger in the young man's face. Eager looks at the spray painted bus sign. "Why did you tag that? See that the youth of America, what is this world coming to"? The boy cowers at Eager's interrogation.
"I didn't" the kid says, not understanding.
"Yeah kid you did." Eager smiles
Aborigine birth control.
Mr. Eager has his team fly around in a helicopter. They are on special route to the Aborigine Mountains. Eager confronts the people. There are lots of starving babies in the cave. Eager laughs because he knows they can't understand his language "Don't you have protection"! He laughs, stares at the full moon. This is the life for me, power and control. These people, he thinks to himself, they have no idea I am here to help people help them from themselves.
PART 2
WITH COHORTS LIKE
Barnyard Gypsy Syndicate
4 / 9
In the meantime The Desert breeds an unusual animal. They have a special survival mechanism for overcoming extreme temperatures. High on top of a hill overlooking the desert plateau a trio of biker chicks gaze out, a leader smaller one, but more menacing looks through binoculars.