The Phantom's Shadow (On Hold/Serious Editing In Progress)

Be Safe, That's All I Ask Of You

     He stands in front of me so that I can see the full effect of his appearance.

     Of course, I think he's breath-taking as always.

     He has a white, long-sleeved shirt with fluffy cuffs at the wrists with a similar design around the neck of the shirt; this shirt is hiding underneath a collared, black, formal jacket. His black mask covers most of his face, revealing only the slightest hint of his hairline, as well as the bottom half of his face just under his nose. Those iceberg blue eyes of his sparkle from behind his mask, making me shift my gaze – in an effort to calm myself - to his shoes and trousers to make sure there are no altercations necessary in order to make the outfit fit better.

          "You look utterly astounding, as usual." I exhale, looking at the ruffles in his white shirt and realizing that it needs to be readjusted. "Actually, hold on." My fingers tremble as I attempt to fix his shirt, my heart racing as I try to focus on evening out how much ruffle is seen on each side, but I can feel the anxiety and passion for this incredibly beautiful and talented man building up inside of me as I take in the fact that he's about to put himself in harm's way.

          "Shadow," He purrs, and within moments he has me gazing up at him again. "Are you alright?"

     My throat closes up as I stare at him intently for what might be the last time. That concerned light behind his eyes, the way he delicately holds my chin as though I'm a fragile doll, all of it is engraved into my mind as I look up at him.

          "How can I be?" I whisper, defeated and crestfallen.

     His only response is a look of guilt that tells me he is truly sorry for what he is about to put me through; my knowledge that he loves Christine is one of the only things that pushes me to forgive him and try and be joyful for the happiness that he may find should she choose him.

          "It is time for us to depart." He says, but he doesn't seem to have any intention of beginning to move in the direction of the cave's exit.

     Deep brown tree branches get covered in a fine mist of icy blue sleet as we continue to look at one another, neither of us wanting to break the connection.

     Involuntarily, my hand reaches up to caress his cheek as I have half a mind to kiss him before he leaves. It may be the only chance I ever have to communicate just how deeply and vastly powerful my affections for him are. I lean up to do so at first, before sacrificing my own feelings and turning his face to plant a gentle kiss on his cheek.

     No point in being overdramatic.

          "It is time for us to depart." I repeat, unshed tears building up in my throat as I finally turn away and walk towards the exit of the cave.

     There is a hushed silence as my footsteps echo on the stone beneath me.

          "Shadow." He calls from behind me, and my heart leaps as I spin to look at him.

     Could it be? Has he finally realized that this is dangerous and isn't going through with it? Have my pleas finally registered with him? I'm sure my eyes communicate all of these hopeful questions and feelings when I turn to him, because he looks back at me with eyes that are filled with remorse that he is going to crush my optimism.

          "I thought. . .I thought that this might help," He swallows, walking up to me with his hands behind his back. "I know it probably won't, but in any event. . ." He brings his right hand from behind his back and produces a rose with a bow-tied, black velvet ribbon.

     I almost lose control of myself right there.

          "Erik," I begin, reining in my tears and averting my gaze since I don't have the strength to look at him. "Thank you." My fingers firmly grasp the stem, and I hold it close to me. "We have to go now."

     Though walking up to the stage has almost always ignited a flaming passion inside of me for singing and dancing, now it feels like a death march. The air that is usually delicious and full of nervous energy now feels suffocating and toxic.

     Once we arrive behind the curtain where I can hear Piangi and Christine singing to the audience, Erik looks at me and I can feel my body trembling as I withhold my cries of agony and desperation that he forget about this and keep himself safe.

          "Shadow, I will be safe, I promise."

          "Don't." I beg, choking back a sob. "Don't make promises you can't keep."

          "Please, Shadow--"

          "Please what?" I murmur, knowing I have to be quiet because the play is going on behind the curtain. "What do you want me to do?"

     We both know there isn't a clear answer to this question, but I'm too overwhelmed by fear and worry to care very much at this point.

     Before I realize what's happening, sparks of electricity shoot throughout my body as Erik is suddenly flush against me, leaning down as if to kiss me.

     His lips barely graze mine, a ghost of a kiss, before he pulls back and his eyes once again apologize to me, and then he disappears behind the curtain. I can only stand stock still, completely dazed for a few moments, before resolving to hide behind a pillar a few feet away from the set to watch the opera and make certain that Erik stays safe.

     Piangi is still out there with Christine when I first look on the stage, but I don't really pay much attention to the storyline until I see a dramatic shift in the build and voice of Don Juan.

          "Go away for the trap is set, and waits for its prey." His voice sends tingles of longing whipping through my body, and my eyes begin to flood with tears at the way he looks at Christine. "You have come here, in pursuit of your deepest urge. In pursuit of that wish, which till now, has been silent," He places a finger to his lips to let her know not to give away his cover. "Silent." I begin to shake as the tears finally escape my eyes. "I have brought you that our passions may fuse and merge! In your mind you've already succumbed to me, dropped all defenses, completely succumbed to me! Now you are here with me, no second thoughts, you've decided. Decided."

     Upon listening to them both sing together, I weep as I watch the display from behind my hiding place. The vigor with which Erik sings reveals his love for Christine is startling and full of clarity; Christine's voice is full of fear at first, but slowly builds up in confidence as she begins to believe she is full of passion just like the main female character, Amnita. When they're finally at the top of the bridge and Erik has her flush against his chest, he tries one last attempt to woo her by singing something that isn't in the script.

           "Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime. Lead me, save me from my solitude." I clutch my chest and open my mouth for a cry that cannot escape because of the quiet audience. "Say you want me with you here, beside you." He builds up a dramatic crescendo unmatched by any singer I've ever heard. "Anywhere you go let me go too! Christine, that's all I ask of—" My wail of heartbroken agony blends into the screams of the audience.

     Idon't have to be able to see clearly through my teary vision to know thatChristine has revealed Erik's face to the rest of the crowd.    

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I'm going to be straight up honest, you guys, I cried while writing this chapter.