A Flash of Red

Chapter Twenty

"I can't just pick two people. There are a dozen. I can't leave people behind."

"Well we're not leaving you behind, Harry." Liam said. He walked up behind me and clasped his hand on my shoulder. "I understand how much you care for these people. But you have to understand that we care about you, too. Which is why we're doing what's best."

I sighed.

"Fine. I won't leave today. But this conversation isn't over."

Everyone stood awkwardly and I realized this was the first time I had ever truly felt feelings of hate for the boys.

I would storm off to be alone but this room was suffocatingly small and I wasn't sure I'd ever be left alone again.

...

I hadn't been left alone for as much as a minute the next three days. Somebody was always watching me to make sure I wouldn't escape. I had been away from the library for six days. 

The last four nights had been rough. I had the same nightmare about Tara each time I closed my eyes. Each night she would get closer to dying in my arms before I'd wake up. I was dreading the nightmare where she would.

The boys tried to start conversations with me and I'd respond as I normally would, but we all felt the heavy tension that hung around us. They would sneak in details about the plane to see if I had changed my mind. I hadn't.

"It'll be here in just about two weeks. July 30th. We'll be home before the month is over." Zany said nonchalantly. I nodded.

"I'm sure everyone will be glad to see you." I answered cooly.

"And you." He said. I shrugged. That was the end of the conversation.

The boys and I had made up though. While I was still upset, the hate passed. Louis and I apologized to each other for snapping. Liam explained that he only wanted what was best for all of us. Zayn said he just wanted to go home. Niall avoided my eyes but apologized for keeping the plan information from me. We were all on good terms. Things just felt off.

I talked to Rick and Paul a lot. They didn't try to make me feel better about the situation and they often didn't even bring it up.

I spent most of the day wondering what was going on back in the basement. I wondered if Jessica had had her baby. I wondered if Scarlett was more pissed that I had left or that I had taken her camera with me. I wondered if Noah was acting less of dick because I had left.

I wondered if Tara was having nightmares. I knew she was, but I wondered how bad they were.

"I wish I could help you out, kid, but I can't." Paul said. "It's my job to protect you and even it wasn't, I wouldn't be able to leave you behind. All five of you have become my sons."

"Paul, you don't understand-."

"Harry, we all understand. If we leave without you it'd feel the same as you leaving without them. That's why we're as stubborn as you."

I sighed.

"They probably think I'm dead."

"We did too for a while." I looked up at him. "Harry, people are going to get hurt no matter what ends up happening."