Paralyzed (boyxboy)

EIGHT

"Something terrible happened to you," I said gently. "Didn't it?"

My voice was barely above a whisper, but I knew he could hear it.

He tilted his head almost like an animal, listening.

I couldn't see his face. I wanted so badly to see him properly.

"Evan," I whispered and he flinched.

I bit my lip but kept speaking. I had to tell him everything. 

"I'm sorry I didn't pick you up that day," I pressed on, slowly stepping closer and closer. "I know why you come to me... I know you miss me."

He was silent. No stirring of air from breath, no twitch of movement.

I was close enough now, though. 

I could see his eyes. 

They were paler than they use to be, but it was still Evan's face.

I reached a hand out, unable to help myself and he didn't so much as twitch when I touched his face. His skin was so cold.

Ever so slowly, he turned toward my palm and inhaled, breathing me in like I was something precious. His eyes drifted shut and my heart erupted, beating so hard it nearly hurt. 

Oh god. Evan. It was really him. He wasn't gone. He was here and I needed to keep him with me. I needed to make everything right.

"I miss you."

For the first time, my words seemed to reach him. His eyes flew open and he looked at me, really looked at me, terror written across his face.

He whipped around so fast that I couldn't even try to stop him.

"Evan!" I shouted, nearly jumping through the window after him. His figure was like a streak of black shadow through the night, running away faster than I could possibly catch him.

"No, no, no, no!"

Without thinking, I was in my coat and through the door.

I didn't know where he'd gone. I didn't know what to do if I found him. But what if that was it? What if I'd scared him away for good? What if he never came to me again? What if I'd lost my only chance to tell him everything?

I needed him.

I revved the engine in my car once, twice, three times before it finally burst to life. The tires squealed as I shot from the driveway.

I couldn't see anything. Just the look of fear in Evan's eyes. 

I wanted to erase it. I wanted to make everything right. I had to.

My foot hit the break suddenly and the car jerked to a stop, spluttering indignantly at its rough treatment.

I looked where I was and my heart nearly stopped just as fast.

Of course.

I was finally here. The spot where Evan died.

My feet crunched slowly in the snow.

Everything was so quiet here it felt wrong to disturb... like visiting a grave in the middle of the night, I realized.

It was a hit and run, they said. His body showed signs of the impact all over, but the blood... it had never sat well with me that there was so much blood and only a few visible scratches. Maybe he did get hit, but maybe that wasn't what killed him.

My eyes traced the ground as I walked off the road. I knew the blood was gone by now, but still, my eyes, searched the road and then the grass when I reached it.