Thomas Brodie-Sangster Imagines

Part 9

Mumbling a couple of profanities, I walked out of our room. I padded towards the kitchen, my head shaking slightly. Thomas was such a little sass, sometimes. But, I seriously loved him. Sass kept it fun.  

I stopped in my tracks, gulping a massive amount air. My jaw slacked as I stared wide eyed at the floor. I loved Thomas? 

Thoughts flickered around in my mind. I remembered moments when I was younger, being terrified that I would never find love.

I had grown up watching my parents constantly fight. They would always bicker about the dumbest shit! I hated it! Eventually, contrary to what I wanted, the split. I was sixteen then. It was extremely, extremely tough. I loved both of them so much, but I still hated them for splitting. It seemed so selfish! Why couldn't they just get over themselves and love each other? I mean, they did love each other in the beginning of their relationship. They had always told me so. 

Would Tommy and I end up like them? Would we end up hating each other? How long would we last? Does he even love me?

My breathing stopped. What if Tom didn't love me?

Slowly, I continued to walk towards the kitchen. That thought crawled around the inside of my head, slowly making its way to every cell in my body. My nerves buzzed around as my blood pumped faster in my veins. I could hear it thumping in my ears, that thrum reminding me that the love of my life did not feel the same way towards me. 

As I made Tom's drink, my vision started to blur. A hand seemed to slowly clamped down on my throat as I choked on the silent sobs that rattled my lungs. I set my hands on the cold granite, trying to stable myself. My head hung low as I leaned against the counter, the stone sucking the heat from my body. I didn't realize how hard this realization would hit me. I mean, Tom had to have some feelings towards me. Right? We lived together,we were intimate, we cared for each other. 

But I don't know if he would use the L word when talking about me. 

Another wave of sadness washed throw me, along with a new sob. My lungs felt so tight as my heart throbbed in my chest. Hot tears stung my cheeks. 

"Love!" Thomas called throughout the flat. I coughed, trying to compose myself. 

"Yeah?" I replied. 

"I'm freezing my arse off! Can you come sit with me while you wait?" 

My eyes widened. I couldn't go and see him looking like this. My eyes were most likely red and swollen, a result of the five minute melt down I just had. My voice was rough from trying to keep quiet, and there was no way in hell that he wouldn't be able to sniff out my tears. 

If I went in there, I would just break down again. I couldn't do that. 

Instead of complying to Tom's simple reply, I stood quiet. The breath that tickled my nostrils was so shallow, I was shocked I wasn't already gasping for air. My bones suddenly felt chilly. An overwhelming silence clawed up my legs, scratching softly at my skin. A knot gathered at the back of my throat once more, sealing in my cowardice move. I couldn't even gather the courage to respond to the beautiful man in that room. 

I imagined how he would react once I told him how I felt.

I saw two massive eyes, wide with the dull ache of empathetic pain. I saw those beautiful lips as they denied and mutual feeling. I felt his body against mine. 

But it wasn't comforting. 

He was cold. He was fake. He was simply a man, saying a quiet goodbye in the form of an embrace. I felt him sigh as he set his head on mine. Thoughts from his mind fell into mine. 

My heart shattered once more. 

"Yn?" 

Warm hands were on my waist, skin on skin. The heat from his body slowly seeped into mine, replacing some of the creepy chill that settled in my limbs. My eyes fluttered open as I sucked in a shaky breath. It was slow, providing no relief. 

Thomas's hands snaked around to my lower stomach, his fingers soft against my freezing skin. The man spun me around as he pulled his body to mine. Finally, I was able to relax. His arms were tight around me as he held me. Our bodies swayed together as I stood there, silent. Tom stayed silent as well, not asking anything of me. 

He knew something was wrong. 

My arms hung loosely around his neck, my forehead pressed against his shoulder. I rested against him as he held me, his lips finding my shoulder every so often. 

After a couple of minutes, Thomas released his hold around me. His hands brushed down my body, finally finding my thighs. He grabbed onto me, muttering the word 'jump'. Following his directions, my legs found there place around his waist. 

He walked us to the bedroom, and I let him tuck me into the bed. He snuggled up against me, his head rested on my chest. A long arm wrapped lazily across my hips, his hand settling on the skin above my sweats. His legs intertwined with mine. 

My mind sputtered through an endless amount of thoughts. Focusing on Tom's steady breathing, I started to sift through them. 

Should I tell Thomas that I loved him? It was only today that I actually realized exactly how I felt.

Of course, now that I thought about it, I had loved him way before today. The corners of my lips crinkled down as I gingerly fiddled with the blonde's hair. Tears threatened to spill over as they settled in my lower lids. 

The last thing that I wanted to do was overwhelm Thomas. I didn't want him to say something to early, and I there was no there was no way in hell that I wanted him to say something he did not mean. If he didn't truly love me, he did not get to say that he did. 

I knew that he cared for me. He cared for a lot of people, actually, and he let them know it. Thomas was good in that department, now that I had come to think about it. He had a way of doing subtle things that made a massive impact. 

The blonde would constantly be writing me notes. Little reminders to stay positive on sticky papers. Scribbles about how gorgeous he thought I was on my mirror. Dumb puns on things that found there way into my every day life.

Every morning, there was knew note in my make up bag. 

"Huh," I whispered to myself. I hadn't gone out today, so there was no need to get into my bag. 

Slowly, I shimmed out from underneath Thomas. Right now, I needed some uplifting words from the Brit. My feet hit the soft carpet as I made my way the vanity that my partner and I shared. 

Once I flicked on the light, my eyes searched for the pink case that held all of my beauty products. Eventually, I found the medium size parcel, a small smile tickling my mouth. 

Silently, I made my way over to the bag. 

My fingers found the zipper. I pulled out a little white piece of paper and my heart skipped a beat. 

In Tom's sharp hand writing were three words. 

I love you.