Deep Desires (Zayn Malik)

17

To say he's mad at the moment would be an understatement. "If you have something to say to me, you might as well say it because that is the reason we are fighting, right?"

"Shh." He puts a finger in the air to silence me.

"I can't be silenced Zayn, don't bother trying."

"You know Trish, I hope this is some kind of phase for you,"

"What kind of phase?"I fight back, silently preparing for whatever he is going to say, putting on my armor and growing a tiny coat of self respect to try and keep myself together for whatever is to come in the next couple of minutes.

"Being a bitch." He says, then his face flushes. "Or something close to it anyway."

"I'm not a bitch." I fight back, saying this in a low tone and forgetting that we are fighting, this one word pierces into my heart and slowly jabs at the edges, fighting it's way in.

"Well, your a form of one." He spits on to the ground and pulls his hands through his hair, making me think of the time we went to the fair and we couldn't stop making fun of each other for our weird habits.

"A form?"

"Yeah, you are a selfish one," He smirks, as if this is what he needed to tell me that was so important. "You grew up with this mantality that you can get whatever you want out of people, and that no mattter what you do you will get your way no matter what, even if it means hurting someone who is important or even hurting yourself."

"That's not true." I struggle to say.

"Yeah it is. You are a young form of your mother, maybe it'll be passed down in the family." He mocks and I scream at myself inside for taking his dirt and not even trying to stick up for myself, one part of me says I need to use self control but the other part is trying to say what she needs, and she does.

"Your not so perfect either, there is stuff wrong with you too." I say and roll my eyes when he chuckles. "Your a jerk for saying something like that to me even if we are fighting, you only had your feelings in mind when you yelled at me, and all I wanted to know was why you were going to drop something important on me when all I wanted was a nice time."

"Do you know how many selfish I's you used in that statement?"

"I barely used two." I mention.

"You used enough, your feelings? What about mine? Do you think, oh just because I'm a guy that I can't express my mind like you can?"

"That's not what I'm trying to get at here." I snap and yell out at him.

"Then what is it?"

"You don't deserve to know why this is harder for me than it is for you," I roll my eyes and wipe my tears, "Just take us back, I'm done talking."

"I'm not." He snaps and tries to continue to talk.

"We're done talking!" I walk to the truck and pull the door open, grasping the handle tightly.

"Always have to get your way don't you!" He yells and I slam the truck door.

I'm not suprised when I hear his foot kick the truck and his fist slam against the metal in the back of the truck, I know we aren't going anywhere at the moment, I know that he is going to stay outside for a while to cool down his anger and I know that I'm going to sit alone inside this truck to cry and feel like absolute shit for never being worth it.

I can't ever seem to make it last in my life, no one sticks around when it comes to me, or at least no one wants to stick around or I'm just too selfish to stay with the people who really love me.