Medley

53: VISIONS OF PARADISE.

I can't go back to 'content' now that I know what 'happy' feels like. But all those fears I push aside to allow myself to enjoy the moment.

We're here. Now is all we get.

The clouds are my home for today.

"What are you up to?" I ask Harry.

The sprinklers came on while we were in the pool, soaking the clothes we left scattered on the lawn. I'm putting them in the washer when he appears in the laundry room and leans against the door frame looking strangely mysterious.

"Nothing, just making a few phone calls." He's trying hard to put a serious face on but his eyes are smiling.

"Okay..."

I know he made at least one more call after he spoke to the airline to change my flight, but I was already making my way down the hallway to be able to hear anything.

"You look mighty sexy acting so... domestic."

All I did was gather the clothes we wore the last couple of days too, and put them inside the washing machine.

"Hey! It's not an act! You don't see it because you don't live with me, but I'm an excellent housekeeper, mind you."

"We're going to have to change that, don't we?"

My heart drops to my feet so fast I can't come up with any sounds to respond. Instead, I pretend he didn't said anything important and carry on.

Truth is, I don't have a response to that.

Of all the things I've been worrying about, our locations have not been one of them. Major detail I completely overlooked.

Something must change eventually if we want to make this work. His crazy schedule will slow down at some point and we can't both be traveling around the world chasing one another all the time, even if we think it's too early in our relationship to take such a big step.

But I suspect my brain has been trying to avoid thinking of this because, deep inside, I know I'll be the one sacrificing way more than my home address.

Still, I would've expected to have this come up eventually. As in, in a long time. Not NOW! 

"I know you heard what I said."

The scolding looks he gives me are softened by the radiant smile that goes along with them.

"What?" I smile and this time is him rolling his eyes at me.

"I have some news to share that relate to that, so..." He pauses, prolonging the delivery of these news that seem to be very good ones based on his enthusiasm. "I didn't say anything before because I didn't want to jinx it, but the boys and I had been talking for a while about taking a little break, but we couldn't work it out until now. I just got confirmation from our agent that all our obligations have been sorted and come Christmas time we'll be officially done with promotion and free to do whatever we want for about six months."

If my heart fell down to my feet when he mentioned living together, this bomb he just dropped on me like it's no big deal, has definitely returned it to its place and accelerated it to the point of tachycardia.

"No touring? No excessive traveling? No visitation schedule for us?" I don't mean to sound as thrilled as I do, but I can't control my excitement. 

"No tour. Only a few pre-scheduled events we have to attend since we did release an album recently. And we will work on writing for the next album and then record it, but that's it."

Harry looks delighted with my reaction to the news.

"That means I'll have you all to myself for six months?" I'm overjoyed!

"You'll have me for as long as you want me, regardless."

It takes two steps each to break the distance between us and embrace in celebration. We stand like that, swinging our bodies from side to side as if slow-dancing, for the longest time.

Our future together looks clearer and clearer by the day.

"This brings us back to the subject you were trying to avoid earlier..."

Despite sounding accusatory his tone is sweet and playful, he just likes to emphasize that he noticed. He always notices everything.

"I wasn't avoiding, I was stalling."

I plant a quick kiss on his mouth and turn around to take the clothes out of the washer and put them to dry.

Before Harry can say anything else or I can explain myself further, I open the dryer and reach inside to remove the two tiny (VERY TINY) pieces of fabric that have been left forgotten in there: a hot pink bikini that I doubt looks any good on Harry.

I don't want to ask, I know the answer.

When I first saw it, I hoped it would be his sister's, but the stricken look in Harry's face at the sight of it told me otherwise. Besides, I've seen pictures of Gemma, she seems very nice and... decent, definitely not the type of girl who would wear that.  

"I'm sorry Em, I haven't been in the house for a couple of months." He rips the bikini off my hands and tosses it in the trash can.

"Pink isn't my color anyway." I joke.

Imagining myself wearing supermodel Jenna Goldberg's bikini has me hysterically laughing on the inside. Both of her legs make only one of mine!

Harry returns to my side, lifts me up and sits me on top of the washer.

"This is why I think London could be great for us. A new house that isn't tainted by the memories of other people. Unlike this place and your apartment."

He has a great point. I can't argue against that.

"Would you please, please consider coming to London with me when my break starts? If not permanently, at least for those six months, as a start?"

Wow... he sees us still together six months after Christmas?

I know he's right, I know we'll have to decide on something more permanent. But I can't shake the uneasy feeling that we're rushing. Then again, that's what we've done since the very beginning.

In my battle to find the right words to say, my eyes meet his and everything comes into focus. Of course I would move to the end of the Earth for him! It's all I'd leave behind what makes me hesitant.

"I'd go anywhere to be with you, but..." Before I can continue the sentence, Harry places a finger over my lips preventing me from saying any more.

"I only ask you to consider it. You don't have to decide anything right now. Don't get caught up in what this sounds like, we don't have to call it 'moving in together' if that's what bothers you."

He knows, he always knows.

"...Just think of it as an extended holiday, and once you spend some time there you can choose how long you stay." He finishes.

"No outrageously tiny bikinis laying around the house?" I kiss him.

"Just yours." He kisses me.

"That's tempting."

The kiss that follows, proves to me that once I get to experience waking up next to him every day without deadlines, I won't have a decision to make.

I've had him for three days and I already wish we could stay here forever.

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VISIONS OF PARADISE - Mick Jagger.