Why I hate the number 4

Grade 4

Ahh, grade 4.

The grade that completely anhialated my confidance (girls...).

Oh, it's also the grade when OCD took over.

One of the causes of OCD is stress. (girls...) It can also be genetic (the most common cause), so one of my parents probably had OCD when they were younger.

(They do!!! My dad will chew equally on both sides of his mouth, and my mom will draw triangles in the floor with her feet!!! Double whammy!)

Oh, and those uh, girl incidents let's call them, I actually started crying. For grade 4, this didn't really help with this.

But what IS OCD? Some people can have obssesive/compulsive thoughts but not be OCD. You actually need a doctor to diagnose you.

I haven't seen a doctor. My parents don't know about this, I hide it pretty well. But trust me, if you did what I did, thought what I thought, lived through what I lived through, you would know.

Anyways, back to the question, what is it?

It's not being able to control your thoughts. Even now, i'm running numbers through my head. You know what they add up too? 4 8 16 32 64

EX. : 27 5 25 7 23 9 21 11 32 8 8 16 16 16 16 16...

It sucks, let's just say that.

Other stuff?

- always go to bed with your stuffie in a certain position

- always the same thing for breakfast

- count in your head

- chew food to the rhythym of the counting in your head, and equally in both sides of your mouth

- breathe to the rhythym of the counting in your head

- always enter a room the same way (drag your hand along the couch, jump and touch the ceiling, etc...)

- if you touch something, touch it another 3 times (it can be your hand, foot, head, anything)

- Always be facing the "same way" (turn 360* to the left, then turn 360* to the right)

- When you turn on a light, turn it on off on off on off on (my parents hated this).

There are more, but it was a long time ago, and I don't remember all of it.

Now, grade 5. The worst one. By a long shot.