Crown Me

13.

He hit a button and the screen went blank. I blinked immediately missing our child. He reached down and drew a sheet from the attached printer and handed it to me. I held the picture of my daughter in one hand and my wife's hand in the other. How was it possible in the face of such traumatic circumstances to feel joy?

"Can I stay with them?" I asked as the nurse wiped the remnants of ultrasound jelly from her and readjusted the sheets.

The doctor thought for a moment before agreeing. "I'll have the nurse bring in another bed."

"That won't be necessary," I told him. The chance that I would let go of her hand was minuscule that I would take my eyes off of her, impossible.

"Eventually, you'll have to sleep. They're going to need you to take care of them." But he didn't fight me on it further.

"Doctor?" I stopped him before he could exit the room. "You said she can hear me but can she understand what I'm saying?"

"Accounts vary from survivors. Some can recall everything from their time in the coma with vivid detail. That seems to be rare though. It's typically almost as though the body redirects normal function to healing. Many describe it as dream-like. They recall voices and light but they can't remember more than you or I might upon waking from a dream. But research and my own experience has shown that patients vitals change in the presence of loved ones, like we saw earlier." His hand gripped the handle of the door. "There's only one thing that every patient I've had come out of a coma state has shared. They all felt trapped, lost, if you will until something called them back. If Perrie is caught in darkness, she needs you to lead her to the light."

He left me alone but I no longer felt the crippling isolation that had consumed me in the waiting room. They were with me. I knew that.

"Perrie." Her name fell from my lips. "I wish I could demand you'd wake up but we both know you can be stubborn."

I paused, drawing a breath for strength. "I love that about you. It drives me wild when you challenge me. Maybe that's why I can't keep my hands off of you."

"I hope she's like you," I continued. "Headstrong and brave. I know she will be, because she already takes after you. I didn't believe I could want anyone need anyone until you told me off that day. And I never could have believed I'd want to bring a child into this world."

"The doctor told me to lead you out of the darkness but how am I supposed to do that? You are my soul Perrie. You healed me and I shut you out to punish myself, to seek retribution. I am darkness. How can I be your light?"

Leaning forward, I covered the soft swell of her belly with my other hand. "I want this life. I choose this life. I want you. I want our daughter."

"I don't know if I can bring you home. But I'm not leaving you. Either of you. I'm never letting go again," I vowed.

I lowered my head to our clasped hands and repeated my promises until my mouth was too dry to speak until my quiet words became silent prayers.

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"Get. Some. Rest." Jesy managed to make a simple statement into an order. She kicked her shoes off and folded her legs under her. "Have you been out of this room today?"

"She hasn't been out of this room this week," Luke tattled, drawing a chair next to Perrie's best friend.

Both turned and stared me down.

"Did you choreograph that?" I asked. The truth was that having them here made this ordeal easier to bear. After a week of remaining in stable condition but with no further signs of progress, I was losing hope. Their presence provided a distraction from my inability to do anything for my wife and daughter.