I Broke You

Chapter 2

Rusty and Sara are still standing there when I look, but they're not alone. I see the three of them now, and as I stare, Brennan waves. Instead of waving back, I motion for them to come over. "I can do this" I say out loud, receiving curious glances from the people around me.

When they reach me, they're all out of breath. I make eye contact with Brennan for just a second, before I turn towards Rusty to pull him up behind me so that we are both sitting, with me between his legs. Brennan pretends he doesn't notice, but I know he does.

"So Rusty, how was your trip, man?"

"It was alright...nothing special", he shrugs. "Nana says hi", he says to me. "Oh Brennan I almost forgot! I got that girls number for you! It wasn't easy, but your man always has your back. I was thinking maybe I would keep it for myself, but I can't be selfish", he jokes.

I slap his arm playfully but that isn't what's bothering me. I wonder who this is.

"Nah, I don't want it anymore. Give it to someone else. Thanks though." Rusty's face is full of confusion and I'm sure mine is mirroring his.

"Hey Emma" he says, and I look into his big eyes, but I don't look away this time. He looks so hot with the sun dancing of of his wet chest.

"Hi Bren. How are you?"

He ignores my question. "You thirsty?" What? "I'm gonna walk over to the snack shack. Come with."

Before I can say anything more, he pulls me from Rusty's grip and begins to swim away with me, I can't help but worry.

"We'll be right back. Y'all want something?" I stutter.

They shake their heads no. They seem suspicious. Probably because a week ago Bren and I couldn't even stand being next to each other and now he's asking me to walk with him.

Instead of taking me to the shack, he leads me to the empty swings in the nearby woods.

"Let's talk" he says, as we both begin to move back take a seat. I wasn't prepared for this talk, not now.

He stare looks at me expectantly for a moment before I realize I'm the one who is supposed to be doing the talking.

"Bren, I think we both know that what happened last night can't happen again. And I don't want it to." Lie. "If he ever finds out, he wouldn't forgive either of us. I've already lost him once, I don't want to again-ever." Hopefully bringing this up with make him understand.

He shifts, obviously uncomfortable that I mentioned it. Then it's his turn to speak. "I've never enjoyed myself more than I did last night. If it doesn't happen again, well my life might as well be over. Emma, you make me feel like a little kid. The way I feel around you? I know it's kinda selfish, but I don't care who I hurt. Because you are worth it. So worth it." He says it all without taking his eyes away from mine. For a moment my pulse runs faster and a familiar tingle ignites inside of me. Just as suddenly as it started, it stops. I know what I have to do; I love Rusty.

"Brennan, yesterday was great, I had more fun than I have for awhile. But when we were were watching that movie, and I kissed you...it didn't feel right." Yes I did. I'm only lying to myself now. "I know I made the first move, and I'm sorry for that. But it was a one time kind of thing." Tears are threatening in his eyes and I force myself to turn away.

"Yesterday was not the first time I've thought about you like this", he says.

I can't do this any longer. "Maybe it's best if you leave" I say. With that, I walk towards the water. I can feel his eyes on me, but he doesn't try to follow.

What did he mean when he said "it wasn't the first time" he's thought about me?

The lake has warmed up considerably since I was in last, making me wonder just how long I was gone.

"Where've ya been, girl?", asks Sara. "and where is Brennan?"

"Oh, umm..." I'm at a loss of words. "He got sick and had to leave." I hope Rusty doesn't realize my lack of eye contact.

We spend the rest of the day there, and at around 6 we finally swim to shore. Sara offers to drop us off, but he has other plans. She gives me an extra pair of her shorts to wear before saying goodbye.

We walk down the road a mile until we reach a cute little diner. I used to go here all the time when I was a child, and it's just like I remember. The glass lamps above the table cast a yellow glow across the blue seats and we are seated at a little booth in the corner. Worry is clear in his pretty blue eyes.

"Emma, why are you wearing his shirt?" Don't panic Emma, don't panic.

"Oh, this old thing? Brennan gave it to me. I think he said it was too small, or something." Or something.

Relief washes over his face and I can tell he believes me. Even if he shouldn't. "Oh. I missed you when I was away."

I hope I don't look as guilty as I feel. It stings a little that I don't regret what I did. I would only regret him finding the truth.

I take his hands in mine across the table and look at him sitting there, wondering how I could hurt him the way I did; even if he doesn't know it.

I keep thinking how someday we will go to college, get married, and have beautiful little blue eyed boys running around. And it will all be twisted around my little lie. He will be like falling rain, clean and pure until he hits the pavement. Once he's down he'll only sink lower and lower. I just pray that he'll never know. Starting now, I need to move on and only worry about what matters most; us.

I lean in a little closer and whisper "I love you more than life." It couldn't be more true. Two short years ago, all I did was trample through this labyrinth that is life. But last summer changed me, he changed everything. It's amazing how someone can just walk into your life and reverse your direction. He fixed me, then we broke. Then I fixed him. But he is the reason for everything I have and am. I live for him.

"I'm so happy you feel the same" , he says. "I remember the first time we met, believe it or not. And I think part of me knew." I remember it too. Seventh hour, Mr. Far's English class, eighth grade. We sat next to each other in the back row. Someone made a joke, and everyone laughed; except us. "I guess we're the only sane people in here" he said. Then I saw those eyes. I've been drowning in them since that day.

"I knew too", I say. The waiter comes and brings us our food. But Rusty doesn't drop my hand, which is so sweet. He isn't embarrassed to show his affection, not in front of strangers or even friends.

The pizza is good and we share stories of our childhoods. He tells me about the time he ate a butterfly, and I tell him about the time I almost burned down my house making a sandwich. We laugh and joke, and soon it is already 9 o'clock. I only have an hour to get home, and I live 10 miles away. There is no way we will make it on time if we walk.

I begin panicking, but he tells me to calm down as he rubs circles on my back. He pulls out his phone and calls someone, although I'm not exactly sure who.

"Hey we're at Blondie's Diner. Could you help a friend out?", he asks the mystery person on the other end. "Alright, see ya then buddy", he says as he hangs up.

"So, you ready to come to my place?", he asks me with a wink. Now I understand. He took me out tonight for sex. Granted, I know it's more than just sex to him, he loves me, but still.

"It's already nine".

"Tell 'em your staying at a friends house!"

"I'm sort of tired", I lie. "Rain check?"

"Deal."

Minutes later, Brennan pulls into the parking lot and honks the horn.