Telltale ~ Liam Gallagher

MAY 2001

Liam curses under his breath and mutters something about Noel killing him but Zara, Zara says nothing, only steps forward towards me and pushes her jaw into my face whispering, "You're fucking fired," so quietly I almost didn't catch it.

/////

"An unknown source has revealed that Oasis singer Liam Gallagher and his apparent girlfriend Zara Macintosh - who has been modelling for Ralph Lauren - are actually taking part in a fake relationship,"

The news. How I love the news.

I sit on my sofa, a bowl of cereal in my lap and the TV remote in hand ready to change the channel, but a small part of me is refusing to let me stop watching this. I have to hear. I have to hear just how much I've fucked up.

"-apparently their relationship has been one big publicity stunt for the charity-"

I push my cereal away, feeling too sick and guilty to eat anything.

"Gallagher refused to comment on the issue as he was seen with crutches trying to get into his London home this evening."

I look at his face; gaunt and embarrased. Shame doesn't even put into words how I feel right now.  I'm a horrible person. This is all my doing

"Macintosh commented, 'it was a slip of the tongue on behalf of my previous assistant and nothing more.'"

If you could see me right now I would probably be blending in with the white sofa.

That word, 'previous', has just proven to me that she meant want she said. I better start job hunting again.

I pull my laptop onto my lap and open up my CV and slowly begin to edit it so it's ready to be sent off to all kinds of agencies tomorrow morning.

It's difficult being a celebrity's PA and even harder finding a new celebrity to work for when your contract runs out (or in my case when you get fired). Normally people work for one celebrity until they find a better job for themselves. Not in my case.

I've practically zero qualifications. Sure I got my GCSEs and did alright in them but the second we finished exams I left school and got a waitressing job. There's no way I can expect anything better from my life with my grades and job history.

I start typing about my job with Zara and feel tears pricking at my eyes and I can't suss why. I hated the woman. Hated her. Hated waiting on somebody day after day. Having to guess her needs whilst catering to my own.

Maybe getting fired is a blessing in disguise?

"All we can say is that fans are very disappointed in both parties. Let's hope Oasis aren't trying to release an album any time soon-"

Angry knocking at the door. I turn off the TV.

Hesitantly, I open the door, expecting a mob of angry fans or worse, Zara's mother, but instead I am greeted by Liam. Shit. Just by taking one look at his face I know that I would rather deal with Zara's mother at this moment in time.

I selfconciously cross my arms over my chest and lean against the door frame. "If you're here to shout at me don't bother. My parents have just phoned me to remind me of what a failure I am, my sister isn't responding to my calls and-" I take a deep breath, refusing to look at his face. "Did I ever tell you about my mother?"

Liam shakes his head.

"Come inside."

He follows me in (wiping his feet on the doormat) and sits down next to me on the sofa, grimacing at the mushy cereal in the bowl.

Liam starts to talk but I silence him, "No. Just this one I want you to listen to me."

I tell him everything. That my mother tried to kill herself when I was growing up. It was a failed attempt and resulted in her having to be sectioned. Dad came back home with another daughter (my step-sister) and ever since we've been struggling through, trying to pay for my mum's care.

Liam stays silent which to me is an absolute miracle. He dips his head when required and squeezes my leg if it's appropriate. My heart feels all warm and fuzzy because of it.

"So before you tell me that I haven't fucked up, please just realise that I have. I really fucking have."

Liam nods and pulls me into his chest, my head cocooned in the crook of his neck. "Do you want me to speak to Zara?"

I look up at him, "I think that ship has sailed."

He chuckles at this and leans back on the sofa, plonking his feet on my coffee table. "I've got some serious explainin' to do, haven't I?" Liam sighs and clamps his eyes shut.

For a split second I want to roast him. Give him hell. Tell him that it's his fault. His fault I've lost my job. His fault why my mother may be moved out of the care home she is in. His fault that my sister has found her another reason to ignore me.

But I don't.

I shake my head softly, "You don't need to."

He peers down at me now, a quizzical look on his face. "Really?"

"Yeah. We both know how much we've fucked up without the other reinforcing it."

"Good." Liam says, standing up and heading for the door. I feel my heart sink. I don't want him to leave.

Before I can beg him to stay like some lonely Yorkshire terrier he points at my pitiful bowl of cereal and states, "I know a bloody good Chinese. Fancy it?"