Lights like Stars [BoyxBoy]

Chapter 11

After our performance, we were allowed two hours to site-see and get lunch. Garrett, Cassidy, a few others, and I were kind of in a group and we were starving so we went to a restaurant first. The food was fucking amazing. Garrett got one platter while I got another so we could share. He paid for me. Before the trip, I told him how I wouldn't be able to spend a whole lot of money because I had to save pretty much all of my paychecks to pay the rest of the trip. He told me that he would help me pay for things like food or an Uber if we had to travel. I learned to get used to him buying me things. I never asked and never expected him to. He just did because he just had money to share.

"Try this, it's really good," he said, holding a piece of food in my face.

I took a bite, feeling like I was in heaven. "The shit I'm going to take later will be glorious," I said.

"Thanks for sharing that while we're eating," Cassidy said, making me laugh.

The other four band people we were with kind of looked at Garrett and I. In the band department, it was like a smalltown, with lots of drama and gossip. It could feel like high school, and Garrett was viewed as the golden boy. Cassidy was the golden girl. Then I was like that person that everyone knew and was called "popular" but no one liked. In high school I didn't have a lot of close friends but I was liked. I was liked freshman year of college too, but then I turned on myself.

Garrett being the most liked person in the band kind of made me want to come out more. It was the inner confident gay man in me. If I were already out and really confident I knew I would let the world know Garrett was mine and I was his and I sucked his dick any day he liked and he sucked mine. I also just wanted to come out in general because it would be nice to be free, so Garrett being my boyfriend was just kind of a bonus.

After roaming the small town we were in that had quaint shops to buy souvenirs, we hopped back on the bus to do another performance. Luckily, after dinner we were allowed to do what we wanted, but most of us were tired and we had to be up early again the next day so Garrett and I went to our hotel room.

The hotel was not great. The hotel in Colombia was very modern and high end. We weren't even really staying at a hotel, it was an inn with a ridiculous floor plan. Our room had one queen sized bed and a small twin bed for whatever reason. Cassidy said she had four twin beds in her room even though it was just two to a room. Also, there was no hot water. We had a heater in the room, so we would point it at the shower.

Garrett and I had sex and then got ready for bed.

"This is nice," I said.

"What is?" he asked, scrolling through his phone.

"Being here, so far away from my parents."

"It's really fucked up that your parents aren't good people," he said. "Like, when I was in middle school I got in an argument with someone because they said they hated their parents and I told them they need to be grateful they actually had parents, because I don't you know. Her parents were actually good parents, so she was actually being ungrateful, but in high school I started to realize that some parents aren't good."

"People will tell you 'give them a chance, they'll change' but it's kind of messed up to give my parents a chance. I wasn't an accident, they planned to have me. So I don't get why they don't love me." I looked at him, thinking about him as a dad.

"Well I love you, and I don't love a lot of people. I'm friends with people and I'm nice to people, but there aren't many people I actually love." He put his phone down and looked back at me.

"Why are you in love with me? And how long have you loved me?" I asked, thinking about how it was wrong he loved me.

"I told you how you made me trust people more. Your anger, your sadness, all of that - that's not you. I see people fall in love with someone and down the road they learn who they really are and realize they don't love them. You though, the Alex Cicero I knew freshman year was the real Alex Cicero. You were caring, and funny, and loving. You weren't hiding an evil side of you, you were hiding more of that caring, funny, loving person. You would only let a little bit of you out, but then you got scared - for good reason - and let this other person take over you. I know you, and you're already becoming more and more of your true self everyday."