Darkness Taking Dawn- Lars Ulrich Fanfiction

Backtracking

This far but no further
I'm hanging off a branch
I'm teetering on the brink
Oh honeysweet
So full of sleep
I'm backsliding You fell into our arms
You fell into our arms
We tried
But there was nothing
We could do
Nothing we could do All evidence has been buried
All tapes have been erased
But your footsteps give you away
So you're backtracking - Radiohead

Rita Ellsberg , was a name that polarized the entirety of the eighties and nineties. If you lived around this time you knew about her reign of terror on the music industry. However, unlike other musicians that would eventually burn out and fade away she never did. Even after death her she is still a very alive and important figure in music history. She wasn't like an Axl Rose, Wendy O'Williams, or even a Syd Barrett. But in her own strange and unique way she was a poet and an artist. She revolutionized her genre and in many cases helped influenced my own. She was startling.

The thing was, however, even with the way I describe her now she was nothing but ordinary and actually bland when around her. People like to put her up on a pedestal nowadays, but we both know that that is the one thing she loathed more than life itself. It was glamorization of her and her music and aesthetic. If you knew one thing about that girl it was that her dread and self-loathing wasn't an act or a joke. She felt like being clamored by a bunch a fans was pretty much vice and hated every second of publicity or fame that she received. Her whole attitude was rather hilarious and funny back then, but now when looking back with some hindsight it was anything but.

Rita was rather dreary and shabby looking. Looking at her was almost like looking at nothing. She was nothing special in all honesty. She was just this drab androgynes looking girl from Norway. She has jet black greasy hair, pale almost grey eyes that resemble that of a dead fish, and rather thin lips. Even physically she wasn't that much of a spectacle in any way shape or form. Rita was just rather bland appearance wise. All I (or anyone) really knew about her was that she liked metal music, poetry, reading, and didn't really speak that much. In general she was just rather indifferent in life. She didn't stand out in the crowd or anything.

However, in the eighties and nineties her coalition overthrew the mainstream and lead to this huge counterculture movement pouring out from the underground and forcing its way and infiltrating the societal norm. If anything despite her being the poster girl for the 'metal militia' she hated that title and role more than anything in the world.

No one really knew her all that well. If anything she remained this cold case mystery to everyone that surrounded her. Even to me she was this weird unsolved puzzle, and this is after being around her for at least two decades. Everyday when something new comes out about her I learn something new about Rita too. That's just proof about how obscure and concealed she was.

Rita always displayed herself as being damaged and broken like rotten fruit, molded and wasting away. She'd keep screaming on and on about how she had 'nothing more to lose', how she would just 'crumble and fade away in the end', etc, etc. All the other guys including myself would laugh at how melodramatic she was being. We really didn't know how serious it was. "If we knew..." I sighed as I continued on with my account. "We wouldn't have laughed it off as quickly and as carelessly as we did." I finished grimly. 

Rita was always teetering on the brink. She always claimed that she wanted to go far, but couldn't go further. She fell into my arms and I tried, but there was nothing I could do. Even when she smiled , in retrospect, she never looked genuinely happy. She always seemed on to very edge of reality, but no one questioned it. This was partially because of her rather off-putting personality and attitude. She was not necessarily loud or obnoxious, but it weirded a lot of people out being around her. I being one of those people. She was quiet and isolated from everyone else. It was worse than James' introverted mannerisms. Rita was truly an island to herself. 

It seemed that even after leaving her foot mark in this planet no one knew anything about Rita. Her blood family has declined any comment on her since her first time in the spotlight. Her associates back in Norway and Sweden have also declined to comment. Along with that any trail leading to a new clue about Rita's life just seems to lead to nowhere and vanish into thin air.  My lovely Rita was and forever shall be unknown. All evidence has been buried of her. All the tapes have been erased. But your footsteps gave you away. I should've known. You were and you're always backtracking.