Ghostwriter

Chapter 23

I think of Colton, then my peeling scar and Jason. The words slip out after a moment's hesitation. "I'm starting to."

He breathes and closes his eyes. "Please, Annie. I want you to be my second chance. Maja would have wanted this."

There's silence.

Heels clack, people chatter, skirts rustle.

No, it's too soon.

He's heartbroken over Maja still. I don't want to be his fallback girl. Green eyes glare in the back of my mind.

His eyes open. "Annie... all the things we never could have had, we can have together. We can raise a family. If we want more kids, we can adopt. You can go to law school again, get a degree. Don't you want that? Don't you want all of that? I do. I want it with you."

I want it. I want it so much. But even now, as he looks at me, he's seeing a different woman. I look into his eyes and I see mine staring right back at me.

For the first time since this whole ordeal with Maja started, a wave of realization comes crashing down on me.

... I don't love him. I mean, I love him like a dear, close friend, but there's no romantic attraction there. I have no desire to wake up in the morning and have him by my side. He doesn't love me either, and probably never will.

We don't want each other, we want what we could get from each other. Once we got it... we wouldn't last.

"No." The word slips out of my mouth. I look Hill in the eye. "I'm sorry, but no. Not right now. Hill, I promised I'd be there for you. I'm going to keep that as best as I can. I will be there as your friend. Nothing more. Not right now."

Hill lets go of me his shoulders drop. "I thought... I really thought... you know what, nevermind. I'm sorry I asked. I'll be around."

He leaves me in the middle of the dance floor, mid-song. My head hangs as I watch his back disappear into the crowd. I trudge out of the masses.

I glance at Jason and our table, then what appears to be an open balcony off to the side. It would be nice to be alone for a little while... Jason's talking to some guy anyway.

I head out to the balcony. Heaters glow everywhere, creating both light and protection from the cold air. Still, a breeze snakes over my bare shoulders. The giant balcony overlooks the expanse of a garden which leads up to a forest. Teens run around in the garden beneath, and adults chat on the balcony in huddles, but for the most part, it's quiet.

No babies. No boys. No music.

Just me.

Another breeze kisses the back of my neck and freezes me over. I shudder and gravitate towards one of the heaters. My hand itches to scratch my scar. A skin-colored putty substance that Barbara gave me hides it from view (can't have identifying marks was the official reason for it, the secondary was pity).

I sigh and glance up at the sky. My mouth parts in pure awe. A couple stars twinkle, and I grin. I've lived in Gotham City all my life, and I've hardly ever ventured out its borders. Light pollution scares most stars away, but Wayne Manor is far enough removed that the stars shine as bright as they please. The moon glows like a happy momma next to them.

The sky looks absolutely stunning.

"That looked dramatic."

I jump as Jason's voice comes from behind me. I glance down and don't look back.

"It's fine. We just had to work something out."

Jason's jacket falls across my shoulders after he sees me shiver again. "It all worked out?"