the Reckless and the Brave (Sequel to Scream, to be Heard)

Tell Me that You'll Open your Eyes

"Heather," Alex said. I turned to look at him, and instantly felt guilty. He looked like he was about to cry. Even though I was super mad at him, I still felt guilty for yelling at him about Tom, because he couldn't have done anythin to stop him in the first place. "I wanted to talk to you, if you don't mind." I nodded and put my phone in my back pocket after slipping an Avenged Sevenfold case over its glistening black body, and walked out the door after grabbing my Glamour Kills zip hoodie from the back of the chair. We walked to the interconnected Pinera and Starbucks, and I got a bagel and cream cheese while Alex got a regular coffee. I ate my bagel quickly, not realizing how hungry I was. Alex just sipped his coffee quietly, and I let the smell get into my lungs like it was worth a million bucks instead of five or six.

"Look, Alex, I'm sorry I yelled to you about Tom. I'm just - I'm still broken up about it. Everything reminds me of him, and the nightmare a couple of nights ago just won't get out of my head. I'm sorry if I hurt you, but I just want everything to be the same. I miss you," I said, my voice breaking against my will. He took a sip of coffee and smiled.

"Look. I am too. And I know there was nothing neither could do about it, and nothing will keep us from thinking about him from time to time. But I really wanted to ask you something," he said. "Why did you cut earlier this morning? I thought you stopped."

"I did," I admitted, looking down into my lap as I heard him swallow his coffee. "For awhile. But when you were gone and no one would listen to me I had nothing. And I started again. Until today I hadn't cut in almost a month. And I did it because I couldn't get anywhere with crying for you because I knew you wouldn't come and you wouldn't listen. So cutting seemed like the only option. I didn't know I was doing it until Rian came in the door. It was like I was in a trance."

"Oh," he said simply. "You could have called me."

"I did, but you never answered. And when you did you always had to be somewhere. And then when you punched Adam and looked at me like you hated me I just couldn't take it anymore. And this morning when you called me an attention seeker I just about died right there. Especially because we never fight and you've never said anything like that before.," I replied.

"I never meant to call you that. You're not an attention seeker. I was talking about Tom. I was being like that because I was afraid that I would lose you, because when Tom started cutting it nearly killed him. And then a few months later he did kill himself. I meant that once he became an attention-seeker by cutting, the next step was suicide. And I didn't want that to happen to you. And I didn't hate you. I hated the look you give him. Because you looks at him like you're in love with him, and I just don't understand how anyone can be in love with him, especially you of all people."

"Well I don't even like him. Maybe it's just backlash, but I swear I give him daggers every time," I said.

"Thanks for explaining that. We okay?" He said. I nodded and looked up at him.

"Yeah, Alex. We're okay," I said. He smiled and I smiled back.

"Good." Then we got up from the table. He put an arm around me and kissed my forehead as we walked across the street back to the hotel. When we got back the guys looked at us and smiled.

"Well you two have made nice, haven't you?" Rian said. I laughed and wrapped and arm around Alex's waist and hugged him.

"Yeah. We have," I replied, standing on my tiptoes and kissing his cheek. "And you need to shave." He laughed and rubbed his cheek, and promptly went to the bathroom and I soon heard the razor running.

"So when are we recording the vocals for Lullabies?" I asked while we were watching the movie Insidious on TV.

"Tomorrow would be okay, if you want," he said.

"No, I wanna play like I'm a stupid American tourist tomorrow," I whined.

"And the cameras from MTV are coming tomorrow for the first time. They said it would be great to see us in the studio before the tour starts Friday," Rian said.

"Fine," I sighed. "What's the show called anyways?"

"Tour Life," Zack answered. "It features bands while they're on tour, following them around with cameras and stuff. They're still working up the first season and have already got one with Avenged Sevenfold, and I think one with the Civil Wars. Maybe one with Blink but I'm not sure." I nodded.

"Cool. So it's kind of like a mini- Straight to DVD concept thing?" I said. He nodded.

"Yeah, but they're compressing it into two episodes, which would be two hours worth of footage. Meaning, a lot."

"Wow." I got up, kissing Alex's cheek goodnight, and changed into my pj's and went to bed. I was almost asleep when Alex slid in next to me, pulling the covers off me. I rubbed my eyes.

"Alex?" I said, pulling them back to my side. He pulled them off again and pushed me to the other side of the bed. I then realized that he was out cold. Then, knowing he can't fall asleep within five seconds, poked him until he opened his eyes. "Stop that. I'm trying to sleep, you idiot." I pulled them back in the middle and finally drifted off, only to be woken up an hour later. I eventually gave up about five A.M when Zack started flailing and making noise and talking about weights in his sleep, and ended up sitting at the table on my Mac, just reading through a review for an album by a band called the Gaslight Anthem. I would have listened to some on Spotify, but I hadn't downloaded it yet. I finally fell asleep about seven, with my head on the keyboard like an idiot.