Caffeine

Chapter 1 - Buyo

Shit, she forgot to buy child locks again. Did they get into the cat treats again? Assholes.

Dejectedly and irritatedly, the so-called cat lady knelt down and began picking the treats up with the Prince of Asgard biting her toes.

***

Monthly Report: Christine Palmer, Date: April 9th, 2018, Report by Mina Conan

Occupation: Sturgeon, fuck no I meant Surgeon.

Location: Either at home or at the Metro-General hospital. Don't worry, she hasn't gone to any suspicious places. Nothing has changed in her monthly schedule. No HYDRA attacks or supernatural kidnappings. We went for lunch once. Guess I stole your date hahaha loser.

Status: Alive and single. You really have to find a way to make up to her. After joining a cult and being a dick, you would have to really change and give her your whole being if you want her to stay single. Another guy is going to steal her, you know. Christine's great.

Notes: Asked if you were still in a cult. I said yes. I think she's scared of you.

***

Case: Winter Soldier Location, Date: March 12, 2018, Report by Mina Conan

Yes, Fury, he's in Wakanda. Yes, he's undergoing rehabilitation. Tell "FE" that Noble is there too. Hahaha, Barnes and Noble? I'm hilarious.

***

Case: The Disappearance of Dr. Stephen Strange, Date: Febuary 28th, 2018, Report by Mina Conan

Location: Last seen in Hong Kong with his cult. Recently moved back to New York. Have to buy him groceries on Monday. He does not like apples.

***

Those were just a few of the many papers that were lying on the floor. Surprisingly, many of the cases were not crumpled or dirty. What a shame if someone were to smudge it all, Loki thought as he raised his cat paw and put it on the paper. Nothing happened. He tried smudging other papers as well but was interrupted as his kidnapper picked him up with cold fingers.

She was young, no older than 30, but her hair looked older than Frigga. If anything, the colour reminded him of a sharper version of his father's colour. She wore round glasses, enlarging the size of her brown eyes, but that made her seem no cuter. In fact, Loki felt like he was being analyzed, as if she could see past his transformation and knew everything about his identity.

Transformation was an incredibly hard euphemism for Loki's situation. Somehow, the box inside this woman's room was enchanted to overcome and neutralize Loki's power and transformed him against his will into a cat.

Out of all things, a cat? This woman was certainly obsessed with cats. She had two fat ones, and there was a picture of a third cat on the wall which he did not notice earlier. She finished picking up the treats after suffocating Loki in her thin, cold arms and was now making a call about him. Perhaps she was a witch? Maybe she knew who he really was? Maybe she had some sort of connection to SHIELD, or even better, his brother?

He looked back down at the sheets. Every one of them had the name "Mina Conan" written on it. It didn't take all his intellect to understand that Mina Conan was most likely the woman's name. It also didn't take him long to realize that Mina wasn't calling any contacts Loki knew. In fact, she was calling a doctor, and the last time Loki ran into a Doctor, he fell through a portal for 30 minutes.

This resulted in Loki cursing out loud and rather loudly, which converted into cat-speak in this throat. His curses simply joined the background noise of fat cat one and fat cat two in the background.

Speaking of which, they seemed even fatter now that Loki was much smaller.

He crawled up on the table and tried to get close to the phone that the woman was holding. And he meowed. And meowed. And he kept meowing. It didn't seem to faze the woman who was talking to the mysterious doctor.

"I can bring him in now." The woman was saying, petting Loki as he momentarily stopped his meowing to paw at her hands.

"That's wonderful." The dry, sour, tired voice said on the other side of the phone. "It's just the third cat?"

"Yeah."

"Has he gotten a name yet?"

And it was at that moment where Loki realized that this woman really had no idea what was going on, that she was hosting an Asgardian as a pet, that a powerful item was resting in her home... This woman was absolutely clueless to the fact that she was keeping something that could possibly alternate reality in her house.

She was also absolutely clueless to the fact that she renamed Loki- Prince of Asgard, Son of Odinson, the rightful King of Jotunheim, God of Mischief- a name that he would forever hear and feel old wounds reopen in his pride.

"His name is... Buyo."

-End of Chapter 1-