And so the four of us start heading back to class, well aware of us being late as we walk our way in the empty school halls
"BUT I DO HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY"
we heard Dylan yell behind us, but we still kept walking
Then we heard the harsh footsteps on the cold ground running towards us, fuck he runs fast.
he stood in front of us as Buffy and T.J crossed their arms at the same time, damn they're like twins, even the same face Expression
"I do have something important to say, Cy, please, I'm sorry"
" it's too late for that now, don't you think" I managed to say with a breathy, sarcastic laugh and we kept walking, not before he said that four words
"My father was there!"
I stopped and my heart stopped with me, then started pounding really fast
" that day, when we kissed at the bathroom, in my father's shop, he saw"
My heart was now pounding even more, you could hear it from miles away
I wanted to say something, I just didn't know what to say
T.J could sense that, he moved a little closer to me till our hands brushed, then slowly grabbed my hand, he could feel my heart beat, yeah I could see that on his face, even without looking,
he ran his thumb against the back of my hand to try to calm me, when my heart beat had slowed I could finally hear him again more clearly
"I didn't wanted to hurt you, I loved you I really did, but I couldn't risk myself for that one stupid secret" he said it like it was obvious, but it wasn't
Cause T.J did, T.J risked his popularity, he hasn't even hide it from his dad even tho he knew he was abusive and could hurt him really bad,
T.J risked everything for me,
now I even felt bad, I could feel T.J stare at me, I looked at the ground, so no one could see my now glossy eyes, as tears Threatening to fall, but I'm stronger then that, I looked up at him, his gaze soften to the look of my sad eyes, but all I could think about is
"you know I wouldn't forgive you, I can't forgive you, why did you come? I know I'm not the only reason"
I'm maybe hurt, but I'm not dumb, he probably didn't know I even go to school here
"You're right.... your not the only reason, but I thought Buffy would already know"
Me, Andy and T.J looked at her, we all knew she would have told us if she knew what was going on, but we still waited for some kind of an answer
But I knew what he meant , his dad probably told Buffy's dad, but she grew distant from her father, they don't talk like they used to
"Just spill it jerk" she then said, we turned our eyes back to Dylan who just rolled his eyes
he looked down for a moment
"We needed to move closer to the hospital"
We then thought that it is about him, maybe she made him need medical help, one that will cause his family move away from their house
But that's not the case
"My mom.. um, got cancer"
He said, almost whispered, but we heard it, we heard it very well
I could feel Buffy shifting uncomfortably next to me ,
Lena, Dylan's mother, was like a second mom to her, Buffy's mom was usually away from home, so Lena took good care of her when her dad couldn't, she would babysit Buffy since she remembered, Buffy couldn't say she loved Lena like a mother, but she couldn't deny the years that Lena cared for her, which made a weird feeling in the air
I can see them both not wanting to be here , trying to avoid eye contact
"Well... I'm sorry for your mom, but I don't think I can do much about it" I said trying to break the deadly silence
"You could, just please, give me another chance"
I looked up at T.J and he looked at me
"Just to make it clear, I aM dating someone" his eyes wandered their way to our hands , a tiny gasp of realization escaped his mouth
"Well then maybe not like that, but like second chance... as friends?"
It felt weird
be friends with my ex?
Who is also the reason I was depressed ,stuck to my bed and moved away?
But I also felt sorry for him, I mean he did apologize
Damn Cyrus stop being so good hearted, you're pathetic
But I couldn't help it, without saying any other words I turned around and headed to class, holding T.J's hand, feeling something big is about to come
____________
Geeeeeeez that was some sad shit but oh well life is indeed sad
I feel like I should've put a trigger warning, but it's just... regular sad? I mean.. oof I'm so dumb
I need love
Where do I buy one?
Kind of proud of this chapter cause usually it takes me time to think about all of this but this time I just wrote for five minutes till my brain emptied so hah
