Persona x Reader

Ryuji Sakamoto x Fem!Reader (P5)

He would've laughed if he had the energy. All that positivity, and for what? It only brought you here. Instantly his gut twisted. 

As if he could think that. It was him, wasn't it? He could see it from the way everyone would look at him with such sorrow, with teary eyes. If he was just a bit faster, then...

The 'what ifs' continued fester, until the taste of iron was on his lips from biting them so hard. 

"Maybe it'd be better if we never met." The words left Ryuji's mouth on their own accord, but he said nothing to take them back. He couldn't anyway. As much as he wanted, he couldn't take anything back.

A hollow chuckle left him. "You would've been better off. All I seem to do is bring shitty luck. With the track team, with my 'ma..."

He trailed off, tears he thought had long dried out began to fall from his eyes, and he leaned forward to scoff at himself. 

"Dammit, what the hell...?"

He already knew they were empty words. As he thought on it more, memories flashed through his mind. When he embarrassed himself in front of you and thought it was all over, until you joked with him and caused him to laugh along. When Ann pushed you into him causing you to both awkwardly stumble but smile with red faces. When he finally asked you out, and you smiled so brightly he couldn't help but stare, when after a couple dates of shy hand-holding and fleeting glances, he finally managed to kiss you. 

All the hardships the Phantom Theieves went through together, you were always by his side to encourage him when things got tough. Now that he tried to return the favour, he couldn't keep up the same cheerfulness you always did. 

The hand that rested by your side, unmoving, felt cold as Ryuji lay his own over it as he tried to force back a sob. While the tears streamed down, the silence he had reluctantly gotten used to felt much more deafening in that moment. 

"I talk big, but-" he sniffed. "Shit. I really can't do anything, can I? I probably look like such a loser." He added, jokingly although his tone was devoid of any humour. 

He brought your hand to his mouth, pressing his lips against your limp fingers. Teardrops rolled off your skin, hitting the sheets and being absorbed. "I, I should'a said this when I had the chance. I love you Y/n, more than anything else."

Instinctually he tightened his grip, as if you'd simply fade away if he let go for even a second. Now that he let himself think about how much he missed you, and the thought that everything you went through together would just became memories, he couldn't hold back these immense feelings of guilt and heartache. 

Ryuji was unsure at first due to his sobs, thinking he might've imagined it. However when he loosened his hold on your hand slightly, he felt it again. Although the movement was small, your fingers had twitched.

His head shot up, eyes quickly looking between your now dainty fingers and your peaceful face. Your eyebrows furrowed slightly before your eyelids began to flicker, and ever so slowly you opened your eyes, staring up dazedly at your boyfriend.

In shock he could only stare, mouth falling open. "H-Holy shit."

"Huh...?"

"Y-You're awake?!" On accident his voice raised, and he immediately quietened, leaning closer to your face. "You know me right? Right...?"

Your voice was weak but audible, and brought a comfort that couldn't be described. You smiled softly. "Yeah... Ryuji."

His open mouth widened into a smile, and his eyes felt damp once more. In pure happiness he wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you tight. He stayed that way, in a state of solace as he felt the physical evidence that you were truly here, awake and healthy, until you let out a groan.