Rewrite Your Happiness (A Ryan Ross Fanfiction)

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Oh no. I don't know if he heard Sam call me "rebound" but this was far too soon to be finding me, even if I had grown very close to him. I have an understandable stigma to being a rebound for this very reason. Hell, I would have appreciated a proper proposal if he actually wanted me to be his girlfriend before this. It's like he didn't need my input on the matter. My body was trembling as I shook my head.

"Ryan...I appreciate that you want me to be your girlfriend, I do...but this is too soon. You just told Sam she wasn't worth your time...again! But I don't think you've accepted the fact you're out of a relationship and need to take a break."

After I said this, Ryan sat in a state of shock. I don't think I was getting to him, and if I was, he probably wasn't too keen on hearing it. "So now you're saying you don't want to be with me?" He asked. I could hear him holding back his frustration in his voice. I guessed right. I pursed my lips, looking down at my bra that kept me covered.

"You have it all wrong. I want to start a relationship with you but—"

"But not now, why??" He asked with more aggression. I had to calm him down.

"Because you're still mad at Sam. I don't want to be on the end of that anger or cathartic response. I could feel it in your touch and I didn't like it. You also just assumed I wanted what you wanted and that's not cool. You need to understand that now is not the time because the events of prom and today most definitely reopened some deep wounds that—"

Ryan clutched the sides of his head as he stood up. "I thought you felt something for me." Was he even listening? I was trying to talk civilly, but apparently my words of common knowledge were emasculating him of something unknown. Why does a simple conversation always turn out like they do in movies: jumbled, dramatic, and dismissive? I wasn't an expert, but movies were the inspiration for most couple decisions in the reality of things these days. I mean, it's how I think, so who am I to judge?

"Ryan, I'm a virgin." I said, studying how he reacted.

"What the fuck do you want from me, Elise?" He said as his voice broke, pounding his desk by the window. Just as I thought, he wasn't listening. Suddenly, we heard a voice uproar from down the hall. "HEY! I think I'm going to have another heart attack if you two keep this crap up. Haven't you people ever heard of closing A goddamn door?"

Ryan swiftly turned and kicked his door shut with a loud crackle. As he did this, the orange bottle of painkillers fell out of his pocket and burst open, pills clattering all over the wood floor. Nothing but the sound of his fury-filled inhaling and exhaling resonated throughout the room as he knelt down to pick up all the little tablets. I let out a sigh of shock.

How the hell did he find the bottle? I mean, I thought I hid it neatly at the apartment. If he had them now that meant he searched our living space to get them back. I went down to help him clean up his stolen mess. I walked over to him and gave him my palmful of pills. Before he set the orange bottle aside, I saw him put two into his mouth.

"NO!" I yelled, slapping the back of his head, causing him to cough them out. I took the bottle off the counter and the regurgitated tablets off the floor, rushed into the bathroom and held them over the toilet. Ryan ran in soon after and watched me drop them in and flush.

"Elise, what the hell are you doing?!?" He yelled as I crossed my arms.

"You ask what I'm doing, Ryan? I'm...saving you from yourself. Just like you do for your dad. You," I pointed at his dumbstruck expression, "don't need these."

He stared at me in silence as the toilet finished emptying itself. He was so broken. I didn't care if he bought them off someone or if he was stealing from his dad, they weren't his and he shouldn't be reliant on their numbing effect. Ryan wiped his mouth then put his hand over his face, slowly walking back to his room in a huff. I heard a loud squeaked as I followed swiftly. He was face down on his bed.