Game of Dust and Ashes (Book Two in the Covert Operations series)

Thirteen

After a moment, he pulled away, brow furrowing. "What's going on in your head, Melanie?"

"What?"

Cedric tapped me on the nose lightly. "I know you. You're distracted. What happened today? Your friend Lia said that you found where they were hiding. You bugged their car. What's eating you?"

I fidgeted and then released a sigh. "I saw him today. Daniel. In the flesh. The first time in over five years. I thought he was dead, you know? And even after seeing all of the videos and photos...There was a part of me that was still in denial. Something that didn't want to fully accept it because it would just hurt that much more when it ended up being not true. But I saw him."

Cedric didn't say anything for a long moment. Then, quietly, "The two of you were very close, weren't you?"

I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. "Yes."

Suddenly, I couldn't sit still. I shot to my feet and began pacing. Just needing to move and work through things. Nervous energy pulsed through my veins.

Cedric didn't ask how close, didn't press for details about the history I shared with him. He only watched me pace and said, "You can tell me about him if you want. But if you want to just pace for a little while, that's okay too. I love you and I'm here for whatever you need me to do."

And I realized...I did want to talk about it. I wanted him to know. Maybe Cedric was trying to kill me or maybe he wasn't. There was nothing I could tell him about Daniel that Scorpion didn't already know. They knew we were close. They knew I cared for him and him for me.

Otherwise, he'd be dead.

The story came tumbling out. My childhood with Daniel – though I left Wes out of the stories entirely. Cedric already knew about Daniel but my brother was still far removed from this situation and that was where I wanted him to stay.

I told him about everything. My childhood crush, the teasing at school, leaving for Oaks without telling anyone, even my family, about where I'd gone. More, about after graduation when Scorpion first tried to do me in. Reuniting with Daniel, learning the truth about my parentage.

Even Daniel confessing that he loved me.

"It all makes sense now," Cedric murmured as I at last fell silent.

"What does?"

"Why you've never told me that you love me. I've said it to you but you've never said it back. I never wanted to push you on it because I could tell there was a reason. I just didn't know what it was."

"I—" I fell silent. Unsure of what to say.

Cedric cocked his head to the side. No anger on his face. Just curiosity. Assessing me. "Do you love him?"

I shook my head. "No."

But could I have? Yes. That had been the conclusion it had taken me years to reach. When I'd thought Daniel to be dead, I'd placed him emotionally inside of a little box inside of myself. Convinced myself that it was pointless, stupid really, to love a ghost.

And now? Now I couldn't bring myself to reopen that box. To see what lay inside of it. It had been too long. Too much hurt and pain and misery Daniel and I had flung at each other. Maybe in another life but now?

No, I thought again. Besides, who knows if Daniel even remembers me?

We were still working the amnesia theory even though this afternoon...Please Melanie.