player | e.d

eighteen

ethan dolan

as soon as the bell rings to let out school i grab my backpack, not talking to anyone before making my way to my car. i huff once i get inside and bang my fist on the wheel to let out all my anger.

my car honks, startling some people and turning heads of some others, before they start gossiping, of course.  i tug at my hair, "what the fuck is happening to me?"

grayson soon gets in the car and i immediately drive home as fast as i could. i wanted to get as far away from that hell hole as i could. "ethan, what's going on?" grayson yells as i swerve past other cars.

i keep my eyes on the road, completely ignoring his question. "pull the god damn car over!" he shouts, tugging at his hair in distraught.  i push on the gas pedal as the light turns yellow. "don't you dare go for it. ethan you're not going to make it!"

i make it past the light and i smirk, looking at grayson in the corner of my eye. "what was that about not making it?" he growls in annoyance. "you may have made it without risking our lives but you sure didn't make it without getting a speeding ticket."

my eyebrows furrow before i look in the rear-view mirror and see flashing lights. "fuck." i grunt and pull over, looking over at grayson who's shaking his head. i hear a tap on the window and roll it down, "what's up officer."
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"you're absolutely fucking insane." grayson says, unlocking the front door as i stare at the ticket in my hand. "why were you in such a rush to get home anyways?" he looks at me and i shrug, "i just didn't want to be around there anymore."

"did something happen?" he asks and i nod my head, refusing to say anything. "do you want to talk about it?" i sigh and clench my jaw before slowly nodding. it's better than bottling up my emotions and spilling them to the wrong person.

we walk inside and sit down on the couch. grayson stays silent as he waits for me to start talking about what happened today and why i was so upset. "you know how trinity and i were hanging out a lot?" he nods.

"well that's not because we were friends or even a couple. trinity and i were playing a game where we act like a couple but whoever fell in love first lost. she fell for me first and i found out yesterday but it didn't faze me until i realized she was practically throwing herself at guys now."

grayson's eyebrows raise in shock and i scoff, "she's trying to get with nate garner now." grayson looks down, looking as if he was questioning wether or not he should ask what he was thinking.

"why are you upset about it?" i stay silent, pondering on why i actually was upset about it. "she lost, move on. she's clearly a bitch anyways." he smirks. "hey man, don't talk about her like that." i glare at him, surprised by his sudden attitude.

"why you so upset, e? have feelings for a bitch you're not supposed to have feelings for?" he taunts and my whole body goes tense. "don't fucking call her that gray." i say through gritted teeth. "you like her." he smiles and punches me on the shoulder playfully.

"i'm just messin' with you. she's a sweet girl but you clearly have feelings for her." he raises a brow, pushing me to confess. "i know i'm a pussy for not acting on them but if i tell her now i'll mess up shit with her and nate. he could make her happy and treat her good. something i could never do." i look down at my hands.

"bro," he pauses, grabbing my attention. "you should see the way she looks at you. this girl is crazy for you. she would do anything for you." he keeps talking but i zone out, thinking about what trinity texted me earlier today.

"i lost someone who didn't even care about me but you lost someone who would've done anything for you."

"fuck." i repeat over and over again. i stand up, beginning to pace around the living room. "i fucked up. so bad. i lost someone who would've done anything for me. i lost the one girl i genuinely had feelings for. i lost someone who made me feel like myself again. i don't know what to do gray." i drop to my knees and grab onto the couch as tears start rolling down my face.

"hey, breathe. it's okay." grayson kneels down next to me and helps me through my anxiety attack. "it'll all be okay. you just need to talk to her." i take deep breaths, calming my nerves. "she hates me." "she doesn't. she loves you. talk to her and i promise you, she'll come around." he pauses, rubbing my back as a way to help calm me down as well.

"hopefully sooner than later."
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