Stay [Satzu]

21

I still can't believe this.. but they look so happy together.. how did she accept this?

Without knowing it, we've arrived at their house and I saw Sana playing around near their house with the person I saw in my memory before, the one who called an ambulance for her.

Sana's so happy while the other girl is making faces to her. That happiness.. is annoying. I saw her looked at my direction and that made her face lit up and gave me a smile, and the other one's laugh has turned into gloominess when she saw me.

my father and Sana's mother stepped out the car first while I'm still looking at the two of them laughing at each other.

Sana's mother just walked inside their house without calling Sana, that's weird. I went out the car and looked at their direction and noticed that they're nowhere to be found. Maybe they already went inside.

I entered their house and looked for them but they two of them are not here.

"Tzuyu.." I heard Sana's mom and paused, "We didn't have the chance to tell you this before."

I looked at the two of them who's sitting beside each other confused.

"What's wrong?" I asked them

Sana's mother talked again, "Sana.."
"She's gone.."

"What?"

"We didn't told you this because you're under recovery back then.." she added while looking down and playing with her fingers.

"Don't joke around." I said to the seriously

"I'm her mother! so I'm also wishing that what I'm saying right now are all jokes!" She yelled

"Shh calm down" my father said while caressing her back, he looked at me, "do you remember that day I went to your room and gave you medicines?" I nodded, "that was the day she gave up and I was planning on telling it to you immediately.. but I heard from your doctor that you're still recovering so bringing up Sana will be a bad idea and on top of that, a bad news about her." he paused, "me and your mother talked about that and.. we both agreed that we should let you recover first.."

"Where is she right now?"

-------

I went to Sana's resting place and sat down beside it and placed of bouquet of flowers.

"I didn't even had the chance to tell you I'm sorry and you left already, isn't that unfair?" I paused before letting my tears flow, "this is all my fault and I'm sorry. I'll tell you that again and again."

I felt raindrops touching my skin while talking,

"If I just handled our conflicts in a matured way back then and talked it out, this wouldn't happen.. if I didn't let myself get drown in alcohol to forget, this wouldn't happen. Please forgive me."

"I.. if I didn't got tempted that night.. this wouldn't happen to us.."

"If you.. didn't chose to save me, then you'll probably smile the same way you did when we're together."

"You're with me in those dreams I had right?.. and you also knew that.. if you accepted her request you'll disappear with her.."

"But if you didn't.. I'll be stuck having my delusions."

"You knew it all.. yet you chose to disappear."

"Ahh~ I know you'll get angry if I caught a cold just because I'm talking to you here while raining so I'll go now, I'll visit you everyday so wait for me."

I stood up,

"oh I just remembered I brought the picture you gave me when we went to the amusement park together."

I took out the photo I found in my journal,

reading the message written behind it again and left it beside the bouquet of flowers.

no matter what happens I'll stay with you, that's a promise!
-Sana

~fin