Women that say No ll

Chapter 11

Fiddling with my thumbs I walked further into my thoughts going through the history of rick and I. Attempting to understand why this had to happen and was I to blame.

No matter how many times I tried to come to a conclusion, my mind couldn't process the rape and betrayal. This was a field of a mess.

Knowing how I felt about Steph. I couldn't imagine how Angela felt right now. Speaking of Steph he had called and texted me numerous times, but I figured now wasn't the time to talk.

Yet my eyes couldn't stop rereading his text messages that he had sent expressing how much he loved me and was sorry. Pleading with me just to see a doctor and he would have the tickets set for tomorrow.

"This is private property." A familiar voice said, grasping my attention.Rick stood a couple feet away, in a pair of slacks with his hands in the pockets and a creme button down, slightly ajar.

My first instinct was to rise to my feet, make little to no contact, and start for the pathway.

"Madison I know why you were out here." Uttered rick beating me over to the pavement in a calm manner that forced me to make eye contact with him.

I swallowed deeply knowing that I had been in this situation before with Kamron cornering me off in the parking garage and threatening my life.

"You can't run from your problems all your life Madi. Look at you— pregnant... Again, in a make believe relationship to cover all of your insecurities."

"Rick." My vocals called weakly.

He could smell the fear steaming off of me and I knew it. I hadn't been this close to rick in years and I didn't have a clue of what he was capable of.

As my thought ran threw I looked away knowing Rick was staring me down like a lion did it's prey. Damsel in distress. And I had no one around to help.

"Look at me Madison." He whispered, placing his hand on my chin and lifting my face in his direction gently. But I felt the force of fear. Swiftly jolting back I connected eyes with him, exhaling a prayer.

"Rick we don't have to do this."

He grinned at my words. "We do, this can't be avoided any longer. My life's in shambles Madison."

"I didn't cause any of this."

"You played your part in it. Don't go giving me that victim innocent bull shit. That's not what I came out here for."

"Then—What?"

"We need to talk."

I swallowed hard feeling him grip me by my wrist and lead me back to the bench covered in vine.

As bad as I wanted to snap I knew I wasn't in the position to do so. Especially when I was so far back in these woods and harvesting two big babies that would slow down my reflexes.

"Sit down. Like we use to... you know I don't bite... you know the real me... the real Rick."

"Rick."

"Madison just follow my lead and do as I say... please."

"It's getting dark."

"You never use to complain about that before."

"Things have changed rick. Things that can't be reversed."

He leaned forward with his elbows propped on his knees and his hands covering his mouth, nodding.

"That's why I want to do the right thing. I've lied to everyone enough."

My heart dropped in shock, thinking of what this meant. There was a brief pause as rick glimpses over at me then back into the sun that was waving goodbye.

"I'm going to do the right thing and put an end to this whole trial. This entire circus that I've caused. I'm sorry Madison, I'm getting on a flight, I already talked to my lawyer and we've agreed that I'm turning myself in Monday morning in L.a."

My eyes trickled on rick unable to be removed as i swallowed unbelieving of his words. I couldn't believe I would be seeking justice this easily and rick was no longer in denial.

"Rick, you're turning yourself in on Monday?"

"Yeah, it's already being arranged." He exhaled deeply. "I have to come to grips with who I am and what I've become. It's hard to look in the mirror and know that I'm raising two beautiful baby girls and I love them both and would never want them to be taken advantage of in any state by a man. I just want to say that I'm sorry Madison and you didn't deserve any of this."

Speechless I watched on as he poured his heart out, apologizing, and pleading for the righteous path. It's like I was watching Rick transform into a new man and bury his demons. This moment was unrealistic and I felt hat it was too good to be true. Everything I ever went through in life involved me fighting for peace, love, or justice. I couldn't help but imagine that for once God had sawn that his little soldier had gone through enough and needed cover.

"I want to ask you Madison. When Allure gets older? Will you tell her the story of how she was conceived?"

"I don't —I don't know Rick."

"She admires me, she loves me as her daddy, she doesn't know the animal I use to be."

"Rick, —I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything. I have to pay for what I've done. Angela wants a divorce and I've ruined you. Now I need to face the consequences for my actions, if you never forgive me Madison. I understand."

My heart sunk into my stomach that was tied in knots. I was at a loss for words and didn't know how to respond in this situation. I allowed rick to vent, apologize, and even break down into a near moment of tears, before he left me sitting there. A conclusion I wasn't intending to see. I was so shocked that I set there for the next half hour before starting back.

Afraid to hear a gun shot front the inside of his home. I found myself concern about him. That was the thing about me I often found myself sympathetic for the wrong people. Questioning was it inhumane to feel this guilt. Struggling with if I had yet to bury the demons from my pass. I sighed knowing what I needed to do.

But before I did that I called my father atleast ten times to confirm what Rick was saying. Only to get the voicemail. Knowing deep down that my mother was right. My father didn't give a damn about any of us.

That was another story, I called Steph apologizing for leaving and agreeing to go to the hospital.

They admitted me that night.