Dear Stan Marsh

Entry 31- July 26, 2019

I looked over to see the cause of slamming: Pete and Michael.

Pete turned to Michael and said something I couldn't hear. He was quiet, barely a whisper. He kept looking at me though and already my heart was racing. What the hell was he saying? Was he trying to talk trash about me? Why slam the door open that hard just to whisper about me? Michael nodded suddenly and walked out. Pete reached over to the door and locked it.

My heart dropped. My mouth went dry. My hands iced over while the blood in my face drained instantaneously.

"My Raven," Pete sang softly, almost as if I was some cherished love one. "I'm so sorry I ever hurt you. I never meant to. I promise you. I wasn't in my right mind and I was wrong. I was wrong, Raven."

"U-Unlock that door," I said with a trembling lower lip. I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't understand why he was coming to me now. Why here? Why now? We had broken up. It was final. Surely he had better things to do than follow me around, right? At least, I prayed that was the case.

I didn't even have a chance to speak anymore.

Pete suddenly had me trapped in a corner. I was a sad animal trapped in the lions den. The redhead grabbed my chin with a tight grip, staring into my eyes.

"It wasn't right of you to break up with me. Kyle's no good. Kyle's a terrible human being," Pete insisted with acid laced in his voice.

I couldn't even think straight. I shouted in retaliation, "Fuck you! Kyle's ten times better than you! He loves me unlike you!"

Pete was sick. He wasn't all there. I could tell he wasn't healthy by the look in his eyes. Especially as his grip tightened on my chin- it hurt so badly. He needed help, but right now, I was his focus.

"I love you more than that disgusting conformist! I'll prove it to you," he spat. He slammed me against the stall, knocking the air out of my lungs. I was stunned for a moment by the sudden attack, but i snapped back to reality as adrenaline rushed through me.

I needed to defend myself. I have to get him off me. I reached into my pockets for anything I could use as a weapon, and thankfully I found my pocket knife, but I was too late. A lighter floated in my peripheral vision. It was lit. The flame's heat radiated so close to my forehead that I could already feel my skin beginning to burn under its power.

"If you scream, I will burn your pretty face, Raven," he warned me.

I couldn't move. I was scared. I didn't want to test his threat. I had no idea just how far gone Pete was. Maybe it was a bluff, but I really couldn't afford to find out. I wanted to scream, but my pleas were unheard.

Kyle, help me! Someone! Butters! Kenny! Please! I'm scared!

I closed my eyes while the tears formed in my eyes. He pulled me off the sink and forced me against the wall. I was waiting for some kind of beating to supposedly put me in my place. That's what most people would do right? But that wasn't what he did. His hands moved down, down farther than I ever wanted them to go. All I could do was sob as he did the worst thing anyone could ever do to another human being.

When it was over, I sank to the floor, holding myself tightly as a sob ripped out of my lips, "Kyle," I begged as if saying his name would make him appear. I wanted him to hold me, to rip Pete into pieces like an angry grizzly bear. I just wanted someone else in the room to hurt him.

Pete kicked me with a growl. "After all that, you still want him! You're a piece of shit!" He threw the lighter at me, but it skidded away from me to the trash cans. He grumbled something before storming out of the bathroom, leaving me behind like a piece of trash.

I couldn't stop crying. I was hurting and I just wanted Kyle.

Time had passed. I don't know how much time, but I just knew it felt like ages. It would either rush by me quickly, or tick by slowly second by second. I remained on that floor, unable to get up. I didn't know if I even could. I was blinded by the tears, frozen in fear of what was out there past those doors. No one came for me. Maybe no one actually cared about me after all.

I let out a scream as the buzzer went off in the gym, signaling victory for the Cows. The cows had won the basketball game, and Pete had-

"Stan?" I looked up. Kyle stood in the door with a look of complete shock. I looked over, whimpering.

"K-Kyle.."

Kyle was over to me, hugging me. He held me tight in his arms as I sobbed holding him. He kept his arms around me, like a protective shield. He said not a word. He couldn't say a word. He would later told me that his brain had completely shut off in disbelief and he had been trying to figure out what had happened exactly. I couldn't either. The only thing I could say was Kyle's name like a holy mantra. Over and over and over again.

We were young and dumb and had no idea how to handle something like this. Kyle tried to clean me up, get me presentable, just enough that we could get out of here and go home. Get some kind of help. Would anyone believe me? This didn't happen to guys. Guys didn't get-

"Are you okay?" Kyle asked. I was a bit thrown by the question. "Stan, talk to me. Can you stand? Are you hurt any other way?"

I knew he meant beatings or cuts. I just shook my head no, then started getting up on shaking legs. I had to lean on him for support. I was going to be safe now. I'd just have to forget about this. Forget it ever happened. Forget he ever existed in my life. I didn't know what else I could do after all.

Pete was sick and needed help, but now, now I didn't even know if I felt pity for him like I had for a brief moment. As Kyle helped me out of the bathroom, I was filled with hatred. I wanted justice. I wanted something to be done about this. I wanted him to pay for how he hurt me.

But the next day, I didn't even remember it happening. As far as I knew, it didn't. At least, not until now.

I still don't know how he knew where I was. Pete was going to pay. He was going to pay.

Please someone tell Kyle...

Please....