America's World

Chapter Six: It's Ok to Cry

"You also never told me about you being a street racer," Ivan inquired, making Alfred chuckle softly. The two still haven't made eye contact.

"It was a job that gave me pocket money to spend on the kids. If the crash didn't happen I'd probably still do it. It wasn't just the cash, it was also a hardcore thrill. The way my heart pounded as I sped down empty streets and alleys was a feeling I never truly experienced. It made my adrenaline skyrocket and my blood pump. It was like riding a roller coaster, but illegal. Mac was always a cheat and had I not been a nation probably would have been dead. Any other jobs you want to hear about?"

"Well, you being a gang leader sounds a bit off. Also, you were a stripper?" Ivan asked, trying to look into Alfred's eyes. Alfred laughed and looked away with a dark blush across his face.

"Pole dancing was great exercise and me being a gang leader was a short-lived experience so I could get a feeling of the underground gang life," Alfred explained quickly. Ivan then coughed and his whole demeanor changed.

"Why didn't you tell me about Buck?" Alfred was silent at Ivan's question, "Alfred,"

"I couldn't tell anybody about him because Buck was insane. I knew if he interacted with anybody other than me and the states, he would kill them. Buck was the type of guy to go up to a random person, shoot them point-blank in the fucking head, and walk away whistling a happy tune as if what he just did was perfectly normal. That's the man I was fighting. He was manipulative, rude, and immoral. I didn't want anyone else to get hurt," he began to tear up, "I couldn't allow anyone else to get hurt when it was my mistakes. I didn't even want you or Prussia to join because I was scared Buck would find out about you both and take you away"

"My flawless sunflower, never would I let some intolerable lunatic be my maker. I will never let anybody hurt you, and if they threaten the children I'll pound them into dust. You are my family Fredka, and I will not let it go so easily," Ivan sighed. He knew the next one would prove the most difficult, "Why didn't you tell me about Jeffrey?"

Alfred's eyes shot to Ivan's, completely stunned. Their eyes met for the first time and Ivan could feel the fear coming from Alfred. Ivan felt Alfred's body freeze up, being completely rigid and stiffer than a board. He could hear Alfred's breathing begin to quicken and his heart began to beat faster. Ivan quietly hushed him softly, rubbing his back. Alfred began to choke on the sob in his throat, and the blankness in Alfred's eyes said everything.

"He... He was... Rough... And... I was drugged and beaten so bad... I couldn't stop him... He hurt Ivan... He hurt me more than any nation could..." Alfred's tears slipped from his eyes as he remembered Dahmer's calm voice, telling him it would all be over soon. Followed by the sound of a drill and, he couldn't even finish the memory.

"Fredka, cry all you need. Scream and wail if you must. No one will disturb us, let it out. Please, do not hold it in anymore," Ivan begged, cuddling Alfred close. Alfred gripped Ivan's shirt and cried floods into Ivan's sturdy neck. His screams were muffled by his scarf, and Alfred's entire body trembled. Ivan wrapped his strong arms around him, one along his waist and the other on his back to cup his head. They began to rock back and forth, Alfred not being able to stop. He calmed down after ten minutes of hysterical tears, wiping his nose and cheeks.

"He drugged me first, I don't know with what. I was kinda woozy after that so he took back to his place. I was trying to resist him so he began to beat down on me. He handcuffed me to his bed frame and told me 'it would all be over soon' Then, I heard a drill right next to my ear before it all went black. When I woke up the hole in my temple was foaming, and I found that Jeffrey wasn't anywhere to be seen. I had lash marks all over my back, bruises on my thighs, and love marks all over my chest and neck. I still felt his release inside me and I could tell by how sensitive my skin was that he went dry. But, despite the trauma I endured, I wouldn't change it," that statement make Ivan grasp Alfred closer. He knew why Alfred didn't regret it.