Fate Will Have It

XVII

"Yeah," I said looking at the boys one more time. Brady grabbed my hand after I swung my bag over my shoulders.

The walk back to the Winters pack was long, but don't as long as the walk away from it. At least that's how I felt, but in reality it was probably longer because this time the pack took their time travelling back.

The guys were all silent, but it wasn't a mourning silence, just an awkward one. The wolves stood at a distance from each other and wouldn't even acknowledge that there were other wolves there. They were a pack- a family- but they didn't even know each other. It was sad.

Brady stood tucked into my side the entire time, I kept my arm wrapped around her shoulder. He was scared, but I couldn't tell what about. Maybe he was still scared about the fight, I would be too. The poor boy was traumatized. I just kept him close and threw love through our bond. He was my baby brother.

When we got back to the Alpha manor, and everyone had split their ways, Kaden dragged me upstairs, leaving Brady behind. I mindlinked Brady the directions to his old room as Kaden unlocked the 'Alpha' door with his shinning gold key. He led the way to his room as I followed behind like a beat up puppy.

Inside the room was a disaster. There were clothes strung and thrown everywhere throughout the room, papers upon papers sat on any raised surface. The bed was unmade and half of it was falling on the floor. His Scentsy was overflowing with purple liquid as it was slowing running down the sides and hardening at he bottom. The scent of lavender was overbearing and almost completely covered the scent of dirty laundry.

My nose scrunched up as I took a step back from the shambles that his room was in. The smells killing my heightened sense of smell, and the lack of his scent driving my wolf crazy.

"I'm sorry," He mumbled as he turned of the Scentsy, it probably being too much for him as well.

"Why lavender?" I asked with a confused look. The smell was fine but if it were up to me I wouldn't have put it in my Scentsy. I would prefer a more woodsy or spicy smell.

"That's a story for another time," He mumbled quietly, if I wasn't a werewolf, I wouldn't have heard it. I nodded my head in reply and took another step into the room, careful not to step on anything.

"I'm sorry it's such a mess," He mumbled.

"It's okay," I reassured him.

"I didn't-" He cut himself off, "McKenna?" Kaden looked at me with that look in his eyes, that child's painting subdued green look. He took a breath in and held it as he looked at me. With a blink of his eyes, it looked like there were tears forming. I thought it was a trick my eyes played on me until a single tear rolled down his face.

When he cried there was rawness to it, like the pain was still an open wound. He clasped onto the wall for support and then his whole body shook. The sobs were stifled at first as he attempted to hide his grief, then overcome by the wave of his emotions he broke down entirely, all his defenses washed away in those salty tears. When he turned his face to me, he was a picture of grief, loss, devastation. It was the face of one who had suffered before and didn't know if he could do it again.

I ran to him, tripping over clothes and papers in the process. I hugged his large torso with all my might, willing him to stop shaking and to be okay. With one hand, I rubbed his back up and down; with the other, I touched his face and rubbed circles with my thumb.

His crying was both ferocious and noisy. He blinked briny tears from bloodshot eyes, his thick lashes stuck together in clumps as if he'd been swimming. The tears made wet tracks down his face and dripped from his stubbled, wobbling chin. Clear watery snot streaked from his flaring nostrils down his red mottled skin to his open quivering lips. His hands open and closed, rhythmically clenching as if there could be some violent solution to his pain if only he could find it.

Finally, he wrapped one arm around me, the other one still stabilizing himself. He grasped the back of my shirt in an attempt to ground himself, to help himself be okay. His legs wobbled back and forth as he fought to keep his balance. I led him to the bed and when he hit it, he completely broke down.

I'd never seen Kaden sit like that, so deflated. His loose shoulders shook, his hands hanging low, making no attempt to conceal or even wipe away his own tears. Aside from his reddened face he was so grey looking and his hair was as disheveled as the park under fall leaves. I had seen others cry like that and in every case it was a transition from a person with hope to one without. It was how Dad cried when he lost Mom; it was how Brady cried the day we lost Dad. It's a kind of crying that shows the child underneath, that the hurt has cut right back through the protective layers acquired in maturity.

I gathered him up in my arms, his large frame curling up into the smallest ball he could make himself. I rocked him back and forth, his sobs eating away at my soul. I never wanted to hear him cry again, it shattered my heart.

I took his face in my hands and looked at him with a gentle gaze. Then I whimpered, "What's wrong, Kaden?"

His sobs dwindled down to sniffles and his sniffles into hiccups before he spoke, "Everyone is leaving." His crying started to start back up again and I wiped the loose tears.

"I'm so sorry," I told him honestly, "I'm so sorry. I'll never leave you again."

He smiled a sad smile at me and tears continued to flow down his beautiful skin. "It's not just you," He whispered. I looked at him confused before he began again. "My-" He cut himself off and wasn't able to speak again as the sobs found their way back.

"It's okay, sweetheart, get it all out," I told him as I rubbed his back soothingly. He clutched my shirt and buried his face in my neck the same way that toddlers do when they get upset. My poor mate was devastated and I couldn't help him.

"It's my Dad, Kenzie," He said, his voice raw from emotion, "My dad died." My heart dropped at his words. He was going through so much and I wasn't here to sooth him like a good mate should be.

I was at a loss for words. I mean, what do you say to a guy that's mate left him and who's dad died in the same week? When my dad died, there was nothing anyone could say to make me feel better, nothing no one could do to take the pain away. So, I just sat there and let him cry on my shoulder until eventually he fell asleep.

I placed him down on the right side of the bed before getting up. Quickly, I changed into my shorts and tank top before running out of the closet to check on him. For some reason, my wolf and I needed him in our sights at all times, maybe we were afraid that he would just crumble away.

After tripping on a pile of clothes, I decided that I should clean up for him. Stacking all the papers on the desk and putting his laundry into the basket wasn't difficult. I scraped the excess wax from the bottom of the Scentsy into the trash and poured the liquid inside of it into the container, in hopes it would dull the lavender scent.

The cleaning took maybe a half an hour, but after I was exhausted, it had been a long day. So, I crawled up in bed and took my place right next to Kaden's sleeping form. He instantly pulled me into a death grip cuddle as I pulled the blanket up to us.

That's how we fell asleep, tight together and never letting go.