𝓜𝓲𝓼𝓽𝔂 𝓢𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓼

62 | so this is love

I knew what would follow, and found my own lips whispering those words at the slow pace she had created, remembering this time when we were so innocent.

Will you meet me in the middle, will you meet me in the air?
Will you love me just a little, just enough to show you care?
Well I tried to fake it, I don't mind sayin', I just can't make it.

I think she realized as well the power of those words in our situation, because she abandoned before the end, trying to muffle the sound of her irregular breath.

What was supposed to be an attempt of reassuring me when she couldn't be physically there with me had turned into an heartbreaking moment.

"Can we talk?" I heard her say weakly, the growing wind muffling her angelic voice.

After hesitating for a while, my feet leaded me towards the window again. If none of us decided to lean on the windowsill we wouldn't see each other, and for our own heart's safety we both mentally agreed on staying hidden.

She seemed unable to find the right words, so I spoke first, allowing my eyes to linger on this dark form that I knew was the Eiffel Tower.

"Do you remember what you once told me Isabelle?"

I let a few second pass before reminding her of her own words.

Only a small noise came from her side when those words travelled to her ears, before she managed to speak, looking frustrated.

"I-.. I shouldn't have said that stupid thing about following my brain."

"That was the truth though."

Which meant I had to admit the part about her falling for me was also true.
I mean a part of me knew, but my heart refused to believe it which was dumb but now wasn't the time for this.

"I want nothing but the best for you." I admitted, seeing goosebumps on my skin but not feeling the coldness anymore, which was surely contradictory.

I think at this point we both knew I wasn't the best for her.
I was far from that.

"Are you- what-... ugh." She stumbled on her own words, showing so much fragility, as if she was at the verge of falling into pieces which broke my heart to hear.
But that feeling she had would eventually go away. She'll realize later that I had never been the one for her.

It maybe took her a bit longer that she intended to but the question she wanted to ask nevertheless left her lips in another whisper "What are we then?"

That question had also been going in every single part of my brain for the past day.

The selfish part of me refused to let her go just yet, and I secretly hated myself even more for being that way.

"I don't know."

An uncomfortable silence then surrounded us, and I thought I should head back to bed. But when I was about to close the window her voice stopped me.

"Can you come to mine?"
I could hear in her voice that she already knew what my answer would be.

"Not that I don't want to, but I'm not sure it's a good idea."

Not letting her the time to protest I added:

"Goodnight Belle." and closed the window, wanting to facepalm myself for unconsciously not using her full name in that situation.

ღ

After spending way too many hours staring at my ceiling, gradually being greeted by the sun caressing my skin through my open curtains, I decided I needed to go out in order to appease my mind and my swollen cheeks.