Play with Fire

[November] 13

ICU

Hoseok needed a few moments to realise what he'd just read. What does Hyungwon want here? The boy waited in front of the door and looked back at Hoseok, who stood behind him. Hoseok nodded to reassure him that he was still their and when the door opened they walked in together. The nurse who had opened the door for them smiled brightly at Hyungwon.

"Oh Hyungwon, it's so good to see you. Your mom will be so happy that you're visiting her. Come!"

The nurse led them to a room at the end of the hallway and Hyungwon slowly opened the door. His mom was laying in the same bed as a few days ago. Still connected to the ventilator machine. Still unconscious. And still pale. He turned around to the nurse, who was now standing next to the countless machines, checking if everything was alright.

"Where their any improvements? Did she wake up at any time?"

The nurse just shook her head and placed a hand on Hyungwon's shoulder. Seeing this, Hoseok took a step forward so that he was standing right next to the boy.

"Sadly not. We still don't know what's wrong with her. And if we don't know it, we can't help her. We tried everything but nothing worked."

Hyungwon turned around to the bed and took the pale hand of his mother, softly stroking over the cold skin. The nurse left the room and left the two males behind. Hoseok placed his hands on Hyungwon's shoulders and softly pulled his back close to his chest.

"Is that the reason why you wouldn't want to get into the car earlier?"

Hyungwon nodded lightly, focused on his mom as if he would expect her to wake up anytime.

"Since when is she sick?"

Hyungwon sighed and let himself fall against Hoseok's chest a little.

"Since two months. It started with a simple cold but soon started to increase and she once almost fainted from a coughing attack. I took her to the hospital and since then she's here. A few weeks ago, they called me and told me that she would've been transferred to the ICU, since her condition was only getting worse. They really tried everything but at the end they had no other option then to connect her to the ventilator machine. Most of the time she's unconscious. Thank god. I don't want her to see what happens with her."

Hyungwon finally turned around and hugged the older. He held onto him as if he would've drown anytime soon and his thin body started to shiver. Hoseok softly wrapped his arms around him and stroked his hair, while whispering calming words into his ear. His eyes laid onto the unconscious pale woman on the bed, her chest moving up and down, following the rhythm of the machine that kept her alive.

-

None of them realised how long they actually sat in that room with all the machines but after some time, the door opened and the doctor came in. Hyungwon, who hadn't said a word in forever, jumped out of his seat and started to questioning the doctor.

"Oh doctor. I'm glad you're here. What's about my mother? Will she get better soon?"

The man in the white coat checked the machines and then turned around to the tall boy. His facial expressions said everything but Hyungwon didn't noticed. Hoseok did and walked up to him, always ready to catch Hyungwon.

"I'm really sorry Hyungwon. We don't know what's wrong with your mom and actually we don't have anything left we could try out. I don't know how long we can keep her alive. It's up to her. I'm truly sorry."

The doctor looked at Hoseok, who now placed his hands on the younger's shoulders.

"Are you his guardian?"

Hoseok nodded.

"Kind off, yes. I'm Mr. Lee."

The shook hands before the doctor started to talk again.

"Good, so I think it's about time to think about turning off the machines. We don't know the cause for her illness and it would only be torture to keep her alive longer than necessary. Please, take your time thinking about it. I know it's not an easy decision but we need to make it. I'll leave you alone now. And again, I'm really truly sorry, Hyungwon. I wished we could've helped your mother."

He softly patted Hyungwon's shoulder and gave him a sad smile before he left the room. Hyungwon just stood there and stared into the room. Hoseok carefully wrapped his arms around him and pressed him against his chest. And then suddenly the boy began to shiver and slowly started to realise what the doctor had just said. He broke down in Hoseok's arms and started crying like he'd never had before. And Hoseok couldn't do anything but holding him. Enough for the boy, too little for him.

Hours passed by until Hyungwon slowly calmed down. He was now sitting on Hoseok's lap, still clinching on his shirt. The older still had his arms wrapped around him, giving him the security he needed now more than ever.

"See? That's why I didn't want to tell you about this. You already have enough problems on your own. I don't want to be another problem for you."

Hoseok's eyes widened in surprise.

"Are you crazy? How could you ever think that you're a problem for me? I love you and I will try to help you in every possible way. But most importantly, I won't leave you alone. Never."

He wiped away a tear that rolled down Hyungwon's cheek and slowly leaned closer to him until their lips touched. It was a soft kiss. A gentle promise that he would never leave his side. Hyungwon closed his eyes and allowed Hoseok's tounge to enter his mouth. He deepened the kiss and really tasted Hoseok for the first time.

"I love you, Hoseok. But I'm still sorry for putting you through this. I really appreciate that you want to stay by my side and I don't know what I have done to deserve this."

Hoseok smiled at the boy and softly cupped his face.

"Don't question it. Just believe it. I'm all yours, baby."