The Black Swan and the Officer

【12】Distracted Tutor

Maeve knew he held tender feelings for her, but as much as she tried, she couldn't see herself with him. It wasn't that he wasn't attractive, Delawney was actually quite agreeable on the eye. He was taller than her by a solid inch, had a handsome face with fine traits, a straight nose, hazelnut eyes dusted with golden flakes, and his dark red hair gave him a certain uniqueness.

In spite of his excellent features, he didn't move her; she only saw him as a friend. The rational side of her thought maybe she should lower her expectations, and if he ever proposed, she should accept, with the hope stronger feelings would grow over time. But as it was, the idea of laying with him repulsed her. Actually, she couldn't see herself being intimate with any man.

Liar.

Yes, there was one man, she had to admit. Last week, for the first time in her life, she had wanted to be kissed. For an instant, as Lord Worthington was soothing her, she had gotten lost in her thoughts, and she had wondered how his lips would feel on hers. The idea had grown inside of her head, to the point she had been craving for the answer.

She had only been kissed once in her life, and it had been a stolen, mediocre kiss from a gentleman she wasn't particularly fond of. However, when she had stood in front of Lucian Thorne, his lips a few inches away, his large, warm hand massaging her neck, the way her name had flowed out of his tongue, his voice sensual and husky... At that moment, she had wondered how it would be. Would the baron be tender, harsh, passionate...? Would it ignite sparkles in her body, as it did every time he touched her skin without his gloves? Would she swoon from it, as she had read in books? She had so many questions, to which she both wanted and feared the answers.

She wasn't so dense that she didn't realize what was happening between her and Worthington. She was attracted to him. Those emotions she didn't think she had in her had finally awakened.

But why, oh why, did they have to awake for this man? Of all the men on this island, her body had somehow chosen the most arrogant, the most annoying one she knew. In spite of the humanity she had seen in him for the first time, he still remained calculating and determined to order her around. What if she wasn't able to control herself and succumbed to the man? She would surely hate herself for the rest of her days.

She only had to repress those unwanted pulsions for a few more weeks, and then he would go back to war while she would go back up north. Then, soon enough, she would start her quiet life on the southern coast. There could be years before they came across one another again. If they ever did. Quickly, those unwelcomed sentiments would fade, and the thought of Lucian Thorne would slowly be erased from her memory.

Maeve was reaching that satisfying conclusion when someone hit her arm with a violin bow, dragging her out of her thoughts. It reminded her that she was in the music room, with William and Ophelia, where she had been giving them their violin lesson for the past hour. It was usually their mother's task, but the duchess was out, calling on a sick friend.

"Focus, moony," Ophelia ordered. Maeve glared at her. Her little sister was a mannerless tomboy, with flamboyant red hair and an alabaster skin scattered with freckles. She didn't look like any of their siblings, and it seemed she would be quite shorter than the rest of them. It didn't prevent the girl from imposing herself, and she was very good at getting what she wanted.

"Shut up, red," Maeve answered, using the nickname their father gave the girl. Ophelia hated it, but tolerated it for the sake of their dad. The girl squinted her eyes and stuck out her tongue at her big sister.

Maeve smiled and tried to remember where they were. The kids were learning a new score, and Maeve had to correct them as they played along.

She made them play it from the start, and as they were doing so, her mind slowly drifted again. She wondered how tonight would be. Would he be there? Would they see each other?