Fated

Chapter 29: Spells

"Are you done?" She asked, dropping a duffel bag on the ground.

I growled and set my head in my hands, ignoring her. She growled right back at me and kicked my shin.

"Don't make me ask again," she warned.

I sighed and looked up at her. Her and I were so much alike it was like we were actually siblings. We both held it in too much and it's why "are you done?" became our thing. Our thing to ask if we were done acting like children and ready to let it out.

I nodded and she smiled lightly, taking a seat on the couch and wrapping her arms around me. "I know," she sighed. "It's okay. It feels like the end of the world but it's okay."

"I'm trying to do things right," I said, dropping my head in my hands.

"I know you are," she said, rubbing my back. "I take it Kaden already gave you the lovey dovey 'I'm here for you and you're doing great and everything's going to be fine' buttering you up shit?"

I was exhausted and in pain but I couldn't help the chuckle. "Of course he did."

"Good because I'm not good at that," she sighed, crouching down in front of me so I couldn't hide with my head down. "You fucked up," she shrugged. "I love you but it's true."

"I was trying to-"

"I know what you were trying to do," she interrupted, narrowing her eyes. "And it's bullshit, Xander. You're strong. I don't give a fuck if your canines were out, you have never in your life hurt anyone without knowing what you were doing. Ever. You've never been that piece of shit Alpha that let his anger control him to the point he hurt someone. You aren't that Alpha. You would've kept it under control for her."

"But what if I didn't?" I argued.

"Stop it. There's no 'what if'. She's your mate, Xander. You wouldn't hurt your mate, no matter how strongly you felt. This not trusting yourself shit has to stop, it's been years, dude," she said, shaking her head. "I know shit happened and made you feel like you always needed to question yourself but it's over. You proved them wrong. When will it be enough for you? We're the strongest pack in the North-West for fuck's sake, possibly even the continent if we really wanted to put it to the test. Doesn't that say enough about who you are?"

"I don't know," I sighed, rubbing my face with my hands. "It's so different with her, Tess. I feel so much more out of control than I ever have before."

"I believe that," Tess nodded. "But I also believe that despite that, you're still the same Xander and you wouldn't hurt her. You wouldn't. Stop being such a fucking pansy and get your shit together. If for no one else than for her. She deserves that, don't you think?"

"Of course she does," I said, running my hand through my hair. "Is she okay?"

"Go to her and find out for yourself," Tess shrugged, standing up.

I glared up at her. "Just tell me, Tess. Does she hate me?"

Tess sighed and rolled her eyes. "Of course she doesn't hate you, dumbass. She's just hurting and confused. Something that could be easily cleared up by her mate," she said, gesturing to me. "But for fuck's sake, take a shower first. You're covered in mud. You look like shit. Stop running your hand through your hair and make yourself useful by giving me the list of shit you need for your date with her today," she said, holding her hand out.

"How'd you know I had a list?" I sighed, reaching into my pocket for the damn list.

"The fuck you take me for?" She said, narrowing her eyes. "I know for a fact you have a detailed list of things you need," she said, holding up one finger. "A list of things to talk about," she said, adding a second finger. "A list of famous photographers to try to act like you know shit about photography," she said, adding a third finger. "And a list of places to take her in case she doesn't react just right to the first one."