Open Hearts Are Broken Hearts [ S.R ]

13. Unread Messages

"Oh, sweetheart," She pulled you in for a hug as you buried your face in her neck.

"I can't believe I was so stupid!" you spit out.

Emily pulled back so she could look at you, "Do you want to tell me?"

You nodded as you fought back another round of tears. "I told him I loved him."

Emily smiled, "Oh, that's good! Right?" She watched your face drop. "Oh, it's not good, is it?"

You shook your head as you looked away. "He couldn't say it back. I gave him so many chances and he just couldn't say it."

You looked back up at her to see the concern in her eyes.

"If he truly did love me, it would have just fallen out. He wouldn't have had to think about it as hard as he did. Like I love him and it just fell out in the conversation, but he couldn't say it," you were finally starting to control your breathing.

Emily finally spoke up, "Maybe he just needs more time."

"But if he doesn't love me now, what says he's going to love me later?"

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When Spencer didn't see your car out front, he didn't know where to go. He just got into his car and drove back to his place.

When he got inside, he threw his bag on the table.

He slowly wondered over to the bookcase.

And when he saw the one book that was sitting just a little farther out then the others, his heart sunk.

The Notebook.

He pulled it off the shelf and flipped it open.

"So it's not gonna be easy,

it's going to be really hard;

we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you.

I want all of you, forever, everyday.

You and me... everyday."

It was highlighted in pink. He couldn't pull his eyes off of it.

When he finished reading it, he felt the anger rise in his throat and the tears fill his eyes.

He threw the book across the room hearing it as it hit the bookcase on the other side, causing one of the rickety shelves to fall.

He started walking over to it, trying to reground himself with each step.

But when he reached the shelf, all the anger rose out of his throat. His hands came in contact with the books as he cleared all the shelves, above and below.

As he calmed his breathing he looked around at the books on the floor, shit.

He rubbed his face with his hands before he let out the sentence he has been trying to repress, "Why didn't I fight for her?"

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You stayed that night at Emily's place. You didn't know if and when Spencer would leave yours so you just hoped he'd be gone by morning.

You slept on her couch. She refused to leave you alone overnight so she slept on the chair beside the couch. She wouldn't let go of your hand. It was her only way she could think of to keep you calm.

When you woke up the next morning, you felt her hand still in yours. When you let go of hers, you watched her stir.

You stood up from the couch and announced to her, "I'm gonna go use your bathroom."

She smiled at you and pointed you in the direction.

After you shut the door and caught your reflection in the mirror. You took a deep breath. You looked like a mess. Your mascara was running from your eyes to your chin.

You ran the water across hands and scrubbed the mascara off your cheeks. When you looked back up at yourself, all the ways out of this situation ran through your head.

You waved goodbye to Emily as you walked out of her apartment and down to your car. When you sat down in the drivers seat, you pulled out your phone.

13 unread messages

You unlocked your phone, ignoring the messages from Spencer. You went straight to your contacts. You clicked on the one titled Aaron Hotchner and pressed the phone icon.

You brought the phone to your ear.

The ringing finally broke when you heard Hotch's worried tone, "Y/L/N, is everything okay?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm really sorry to call you. I know it's Sunday but I really need to meet up with you today if it's possible. It's... important."

"What's going on Y/L/N?"

"I need to put in my transfer request."