tryst [sequel] // h.s

06

Little did I know that once I went to the door to pick up the heels from last night I'd hear two cavemen punching each other like immature teenagers but I honestly expected quite the opposite.

Lex isn't always the best at expressing his feelings in words, he used to pick up fights every time when we were in school so I expected Harry to be beaten up. Imagine my surprise when I caught Harry about to punch him while he was on the ground as his nose started bleeding.

I got so scared of him and he's not a violent person. But the mad look in his eyes and the crazy expression were unrecognizable, he was so out of himself and blinded by some sort of anger. He was frightening and he started blaming everything on Lex but I got scared about the blood and his red knuckles.

He looked intimidating and getting him to leave wasn't easy either. He kept on blaming Lex and saying nonsense until I closed the door on his face. He left after five minutes of incessant knocking and him saying he was gonna get splinters in his knuckles.

After managing to get Lex's nose to stop running, he told me what happened between them and I couldn't believe it. He said Harry came onto him because he was going to my room as Harry went out and he started going crazy after Lex asked him to leave.

It honestly didn't make any sense but it's not something I wouldn't put past him.

He has an incredible record of getting blinded by jealousy and angry at me for things that are only up in his head. He seems to love creating scenarios while I apparently fuck every single guy that looks my way when that couldn't be further from the truth.

And that's so fucking delusional and at the uttermost stupid. It took me four years to actually open up to him but somehow in his head, I'm confident with every guy I meet and they go straight into my bed like the sex-crazed goddess I am.

That is pathetic.

I honestly don't know what the fuck goes on inside that fucked mind of his but he's not okay. And I'm not saying I am either but at least I acknowledge I have issues and that I need to work on that.

Sleeping with him wasn't the smartest idea ever and Cassie didn't let me hear the end of it. She was pissed off at me and my lack of self-control but what can I say? Whenever I'm with Harry the world disappears, it's just him and I, there's no past nor future, we live in the moment.

Until the morning comes and with it, the aftermath collusion avoided from the night, filled with empty promises and misunderstood intentions hits and when it does, it hits hard.

I wasn't ready to hear him say how the previous night meant nothing to him; even though I can tell it was a lie, it still hurt because he wanted to hurt me and he succeeded. I felt used, dirty, and humiliated, but then, he probably felt the same.

Much less I was ready to see him cry either, and that tore me down to pieces. He thinks I'm so cold-hearted, that I don't care for him when in reality, that couldn't be further from the truth and I tried to tell him.

I truly thought he had listened to me and that for once he'd give me my space. He remained silent while I explained myself and he comforted me after. He was mature about it - after a heavy dosage of an arrogant act- he managed to sit down and finally listen and although he didn't let me finish, it was a start.

Perhaps it's just me romanticizing and easing his behavior but I don't want to hold grudges, it's not a positive thing for me to do and I've always forgiven him easily, that's not gonna change but I can't justify him getting violent.

''I don't know, Zee...'' Lex trails off, scratching the back of his neck. ''He thinks he owns you and that's wrong, I was merely defending you.'' He explains and I nod, it still doesn't make any sense but I saw what I saw.