Warhammer 40k x Nier: Automata: Guardsman journal entry

Chapter 7: Abominable Maiden

Journal Entry #18

So after going through the sewage way and several minute debate about who's going up the ladder first, we made it the location that we are supposed to investigate, but there's something odd about the place that we're going. From afar I see what it appears to be a weirdly designed fortress with... mine cart tracks around it and some colourful explosions that sets off from the sky, did I also mention that it was getting dark out. But yeah I was awestruck about the whole thing, Because I have never seen such a place throughout my life as a Guardsman (We never even get a chance to take a break and visit one of the pleasure worlds or even have time for ourselves to relax. It's tough but honestly it was never my decision, pretty much all of us Cadians have to be the frontliners of it all, we're raised to pick up a Lasgun and fire unto the enemies of the God Emperor of Mankind.) The lad 9S did tell us about what the whole deal was about and turns out, this used to be an amusement park for the people of old, you know the ones who once lived here but for some reason there's none from what I heard. Did something happen to the humans who have lived on this planet? Did the "Machine Lifeforms" and their xenos masters wiped them out? (And yes I have been informed that those bipedal fucks are called machine lifeforms and they serve under aliens who created them. Yeah that's some high levels of xeno-fucking-HERESY.) I'll probably get my answers in the future but for now we have to complete whatever objectives that we were hired to do, who knows? Maybe get to meet and bone an android like 2B

...

...

(I'm joking. If I did I'll lose my dick from whatever mechanical hazards that those things have inside. Also it counts as heresy...)

Upon closer inspection we come across the plaza of this amusement with many dancing machine lifeforms (I still call them bipedal fucks no matter what.) with a different get-up, like different from the desert ones with masks and scarves. In here they kinda look like the other Eldar with their clown aesthetics but not as frightening but in all honesty more dumb looking, even getting close to them doesn't cause them to attack us, they keep chanting and cheering "Let's play!" Or something like that. Not gonna lie, the whole just gives me a fucking a headache and we really need to get a move on or I'll just go insane from their constant chanting, one of their fucking tiny pieces of coloured paper got into my eye.

So we make our way through this place and took us time go through obstacles (okay I have to say that they're androids and I just witness them just easily jumping to different ledges and run up to walls to only wall climb up to a ledge, and then we got me... I can't do all that shit, do you why? Cuz I'm only human and I got no cybernetic enhancements that boost my physical prowess. So they just helped my sorry ass which made me feel a tad bit sad but at the same time glad since they're indeed very powerful allies to have.) and come across another plaza but this time no machine lifeforms dancing around, well I'm glad that I don't have to listen to their chanting and their tiny pieces of papers flying aroun- By the Emperor's glorious ass... IT'S A FUCKING TANK PILOTED BY FUCKING ROBO-CLOWNS! AND GUESS WHAT?! THEY FUCKING SHOOT CONFETTI OUT OF THE BARRELS AND THE GUNS ONTO IT. This place is gonna give me a fucking headache so bad that being an untrained psyker getting their minds fucked by the warp looks more tame in comparison.

We did take it down in the end and it was honestly terrifying due to the fact that it changed their confetti ammunition to those painful energy orbs that damaged my flak armour, I was dodging like crazy to avoid getting hit, even tried shooting them which it worked but I got bruises and the shoulder pad of my flak armour was blasted off but the ones that carried the fight are the pair in black, you know the lad 9S and lass 2B, they just gracefully dodge through each bullet and even took out most before tearing that tank with their swords which I actually question how did their blades even rend through the tank's armour, from what I can tell their swords aren't even power weapons. But overall thank the Emperor that I'm teamed up with these two, otherwise I'd say I have to abandon this job than die because of it.

After that we picked up the distress signal from the fortress itself but our way their is blocked, luckily 9S found new route for us three to take which is of course the tracks that leads to the fortress. 9S and those rectangular skull servos said something about it even, it was once a ride for the people who dwell on this world. But of course all four of them seemed rather confused about why people ride it for amusement, but I can't say their wrong since I do see where they're going but I also kinda see the charm about it being an amusing ride for the folks here. Perfect timing the carts arrived but most of it are filled with rubble and debris but there's one cart that is not filled and I can just easily remove whatever is there, so I take my spot but the two seem insistent on just standing on the carts which is obviously the stupidest thing that they can think of, they're gonna fall over if this cart moved.

Okay what the actual fuck they actually didn't fell over the moment the cart moved, I think I ate too much corpse starch before waking up from this planet. It would be best that I should hold onto the railings on the cart so I won't fall off of the cart.

During the ride we were ambushed by those machine fucks and those two didn't even lose balance while fighting, YES EVEN THE FUCKING MACHINE BASTARDS didn't even slip off and I had to repel the energy ball ballets from the flying ones away from the two with my Lasgun, I gotta cover their backs somehow while they cover mine since I'm working with them. And we manage to reach our destination and the distress signal is pretty strong from where we're standing, the two are making some short preparations before dropping into that hole which is looks like it leads to a stage of some sort, for me I have to get some light so I can really see whatever is there and tie a rope so I can easily climb down there without getting hurt from the fall. The two are already ahead of me and I should be ready to join them. I climbed down as fast as I could and we scanned around only to find nothing but for some reason I got a chill down my spine, something tells me that we need to get the fuck out of here, but it was already too late. Three of us were alerted by the buzzing noise coming from the stage and from my horror I witness a towering figure which appears to be a woman with a dress made out of large rags and plates of metal and decorated with the bodies of androids, the ones I have stumbled across during my trip to the sandy areas but their skins are fully peeled off and are tied around this figure, I have to end my entry for now, or else we might get killed by this thing.

We must destroy this abomination before it claims us, and I cannot afford to just die here. I will be back and may the Emperor protects.

[To be continued]