Crawl Out Through The Fallout (Fo4 Fanfic)

9

"I didn't really feel anything. My body was kinda on auto pilot." She answered. "Well. Scared the shit outta me. You're batshit." Erin joked. Although his expression changed nearly instantly. "You said some really fucked up things today. And it's not sitting right with me." He stated assertively.
Is he...is he talking about his... feelings? Didn't know he had those.
"Yeah? Sorry if I was to aggressive earlier. I was pretty pissed off, I didn't mean to take it out on you." She apologized, remembering how rude she might've been earlier in the day. "Not that." He paused. The ginger looked at his face, he looked like he was... In pain? "You said "If he kills me, you don't have to baby sit me anymore." And "you should've shot me too" like you... Like you wanted to die." He trailed off. His lip twitched, and she could feel his grip on her tighten. She was awe struck, she had no idea any of that affected him. She definitely wasn't suicidal, that thought never crossed her mind. "Oh... I didn't mean any of that. I didn't think you'd actually dwell on anything I say, haha." She half heartedly laughed, trying to lighten the mood. "it's insulting how asinine you think I am." He deadpanned. "I get it ok, I'm not the most pleasant company but I'm capable of basic cognitive function. It would shake anyone to hear that someone that you've risked your life to save wants to die anyway. I thought I made it obvious that I care about you already. Are your eggs that scrambled or are you just dense." He spoke firmly. She was amazed at how aggressive yet sweet that was. She found herself tearing up at it even. Fiona wrapped her arms tighter around his neck. "Does this mean we're friends?" She beamed. "I think you hit your head one too many times..." "Is that a yes?" "Fine." she girlishly squealed, hugging him around his neck.

The two stopped in an abandoned chapel to set up camp for the night. Fiona had already passed out. Erin laid her down on a misplaced pew, careful not to hurt, or wake her. Previously they had passed a federal ration stockpile, where he was sure there would be medical supply. The only reason they didn't stop there was the fact it was full of raiders, and he clearly didn't want Fiona to suffer anymore injury. He placed her gun next to her on the bench before returning to exit the chapel. "Where are you going?" Her soft groggy voice echoed after him. "The stockpile. Gonna find some stims." He responded, stoping to look back at her. "I'll come." She shuffled to sit up. Erin rushed back over guilding her to lay back down. " It's full of Raiders, I'll take care of it. I won't be long, just go back to sleep." She sleepily nodded before curling up and drifting off again. He sighed standing up straight.

Erin silently treaded along the crumbled path. He was alone again, the familiar feeling he seemed at home in. However he has strangely gotten used to Fiona's company, which was unsettling. Her words continued to batter his mind as they had looped for the past few hours. He couldn't count how many times he's mentally scolded himself by now.
Fucking do better
He'd tell himself. A part of him missed being reclusive and uninvolved. It was far easier than having to sort out confusing feelings. But the bigger part of him wanted something to work for, a purpose more or less. Now he's heading into a raider infested stockpile for a prewar "mechanic", he just so happens to find incredibly attractive, waiting for him in a nearly collapsed church, possibly inches from death. Erin doesn't know what the hell a Mechanic is, and at this point is afraid to ask. He hoisted his rifle over his shoulder shooting an unsuspecting raider in the back of the head.
He jogged back to the church, stimpacks in hand. Clearing the place out was a piece of cake, somewhat fun actually. He found himself a little too excited to be heading back to Fiona, anerving. He found her soundly asleep just as he had left her, soon to be interuped by him poking at her cheek. She groaned swatting his hand away. "5 more minutes mom." She mumbled snuggling her head further into her arms."I'm not mom. I'm Erin. I have stimpacks." He poked her cheek a few more times. She fluttered her eyes open, the blood had almost drained from her eye completely, the other soft and green as always. She sat up swinging her legs over the edge and rubbing her eyes. Erin handed her the syringe before sitting down next to her. She cringed before handing it back to him. "I don't like needles..." "Are you fucking serious." "I can't do it to myself, I'll throw up." She glanced at him with a pleading look. Erin rolled his eyes before gripping the stim. Fiona looked away after dropping her arm into his open hand. He was a little taken aback by how delicate her arm felt, like he could just snap it in half with little effort. How the hell has she not been destroyed by the wasteland yet? He slid the needle into her wrist without warning. "The hell man? No count down?" She winced. "3.2.1?" "Too late now." She puffed her cheeks as Erin pulled the stimpack out. He tossed the empty syringe behind him, leaning back on the pew. "Are you going to sleep? I'll keep watch." Fiona asked swinging her legs back and forth. "Not tired." He replied shortly. "Will you answer some questions then?" "Depends." "Do you have a family?" Fiona gazed out the crumbled window instead of looking at Erin. He definitely wasn't prepared for that. "No." He curtly answered, beginning to feel uncomfortable. "What happened to them?" Her voice was light, still sleepy. He heavily debated answering that, not that it was something he couldn't trust her with. But he didn't know if he could hold it together if he talked about it. "They're dead." He bit his lip, his head fell back gazing up at the ceiling. Fiona turned, inching closer. "Do you want to talk about it? You don't have to, but I can tell it's eating at you." She empathetically asked. "No. I mean. Uh, how? Most people kinda just know already. No one's ever asked." He awkwardly sat up, somewhat confused. "Well, what were your parents like? Do you have any siblings?" Fiona was already looking better, stims work fast. "Oh, uh, Dad was always drunk, or just being an ass and Mom was crazy. Bipolar or something, she'd be singing one minute then beating me inches from death the next. Hah, but my brother, he protected me. He promised he'd get us out." Erin trailed off. Fiona scooted closer. "Tell me about him." "Well, he was a couple years older, and wicked smart. I probably wouldn't know how to read if he didn't teach me haha. He liked technology, robots specifically, always building shit with garbage he could find. I didn't know what he did but he would always come home with a couple caps every day saying it was for us to run away. " He continued. Fiona took notice to him picking at the skin on his knuckles. She took his right hand, lacing her fingers through his. "What was his name?" She asked. He nervously glanced around. "Issac." He answered, voice softening. "How did you guys get away?" Her eyes were big and full of questions, Erin didn't know if he was ready for. But he knew she wouldn't stop asking. "We didn't. He left me behind. He's definitely dead, a scrawny 14 year old like him wouldn't make it very far out of diamond city. I had to deal with mom and dad till I was like 16. I owed some people money so I ran off to work my debts." Fiona circled her thumb over his palm. "You were so young! How could you owe money?" Now this was something he really didn't want to share. "Chems.. I was addicted to Psycho." He averted her gaze.

Fiona

I tried to hide my surprise. The fact that he opened up alone was enough to confuse me. A part of me wanted to believe he was just a white knight with a bad attitude, but I really needed to get over the saviour complex. "Are you still-" "no. That's in the past. I'm never picking up a Chem again." He interrupted, now looking me in the eye. Like it was a promise. I nodded, squeezing his hand lightly. "I'm proud of you." I smiled. He dawned a look, evident that he's never heard that before. "what..?" His lip twitched and his voice cracked. "I said, I'm proud of you, Erin. Getting over addiction is hard, I know it's not the same thing but I-" I was enveloped into a hug before I could finish. I grew even more surprised, Erin, 'dont breathe in my direction' anger issues Graves, hugged me? Reluctantly I pulled my arms around his shoulders. It wasn't the most comfortable position, my back was tilted at an awkward angle, but I certainly wasn't going to turn down a hug especially from him. "Thank you." He spoke softly into my neck. "You can always talk to me. I'm not going anywhere. Well, I probably wouldn't survive by myself, but thats not the point, haha." He suddenly jolted back. "I didn't meant to-" "don't make it weird, you can hug me! I love hugs! And we're friends right? Friends hug, or at least they do where I come from!" I held my arms out for him to come back. He hesitantly leaned leaned forward again. "Where you're from, is a completely different time..." "What, people don't hug anymore?" "People do. Just not me." "Thats sad. Maybe that's why you're always pissed off, you're touch starved." I joked, rubbing circles on his back. He huffed pulling back again. I smiled, clapping my hands on either side of his face. "Hugs are important in sustaining a positive mental state. You can always ask for hugs, I promise you I will never say no!" His face was soft, tension visibly lifted from his features. With that, he smiled. Like a real smile, not a 'thinking about killing something' creepy smirk. As if I couldn't get more surprised tonight, he had a really nice smile. It was the first time I'd seen his teeth, they were actually not gross, and pretty nice even by prewar standards. My teeth weren't even that straight and I had braces when I was 13. (To be fair she didn't wear her retainers like she should've). He just as soon shut his mouth, I guess he caught me staring. "No, smile again! Lemme see your teeth!"
"Oh my god don't be weird."
I couldn't help but smile at the fact that we were getting somewhere.