I Loved You Once in Silence

A Deadly Mistake (A Remedy to Cure All Ills)

"I fear she may have some form of inflammation of the brain."

"What could cause such a thing?" Uther asked.

"An infection, possibly," Gaius said. "Rest assured, I will do everything in my power to cure her, sire."

Gwen ran to Gaius the moment they came out of Morgana's chambers. "Is she any better?" she asked. Gaius shook his head. Gwen ran up the stairs to sit by Morgana's bedside. Merlin watched her go, wishing he could do the same. He'd thought that his feelings for Morgana had subsided since his engagement to Gwen, but with this recent tragedy, anything that had left him was back full force. He was desperate to sit by her side, just to know that she was breathing. It was as though he'd left a part of himself under her pillow.

"She's all but dead, Merlin," Gaius said once Gwen was out of earshot.

"No, you're going to cure her," Merlin said quickly, half trying to convince himself. "You have to."

"Don't you start. I've tried everything."

Desperate, Merlin said, "I was wondering... maybe I could... help."

Gaius looked around anxiously, then whispered, "if you're suggesting magic... have you forgotten what happened with Gwen's father? This is not a magical illness; it must be cured by conventional means. See if you can find me some fresh rosemary."

"There must be something more I can do!" Merlin cried. Of course he remembered what happened with Tom, but what if convention wasn't enough? He may never be able to be with Morgana, but he wasn't ready to lose her.

"And yarrow," Gaius said. "Go."

Merlin fetched the supplies and returned as soon as possible. Gaius sent all but Uther away, forcing Arthur and Merlin to wait for news in Arthur's chambers. Merlin couldn't stop pacing, clinging to the hope that everything would be fine.

"It's going to be alright," Merlin said. "It is. I know it is. She's going to be absolutely..."

"Merlin." Arthur sounded annoyed.

"What?" Merlin asked.

"You're making me anxious."

"But I'm not worried," Merlin protested.

"Then. Stop. Pacing." So, Merlin sat, but he was so jittery that he started to tap on the table. Arthur looked like he was about to send Merlin away, but then his anger melted, replaced by absolute horror.

"What is it?" Merlin asked, dreading the answer.

"You don't think..." Arthur began, but his voice trailed off. "No, nevermind."

"What?" Merlin pressed.

Arthur swallowed. "She was so... miserable last night. She told me that if she had to wear a veil today, it would be a veil of black. Is it possible... do you think...?"

Merlin's eyes widened. "We have to tell Gaius."

Arthur raced to Morgana's chambers, Merlin close behind. They burst into the room.

"You have to check her for traces of poison!" Arthur ordered Gaius.

"What is the meaning of this, Arthur?" Uther asked. "Do you have reason to suspect someone poisoned Morgana?"

"Yes," Arthur said. "I think Morgana poisoned herself."

"No," Uther said. "She would never do such a thing."

"You didn't see her!" Arthur protested. "She hated the idea of marriage, she just lost her sister, what's to say that--"

"She wouldn't do it, Arthur!" Uther raised his voice.