****
XX.
Eden
Upon awakening, I could feel the soft sheets protecting my body from the cold and a pair of arms around me. I could also feel the morning light shining in through the blinds behind me. My eyes are still shut as I realize that I was being held.
My eyes quickly opened and I shot up from the bed to see it was Zach. I could tell that I had startled him awake because he groaned when he pulled himself up to a sitting position.
No. No. No.
Immediately, I grabbed my towel and my bag and headed to the bathroom. He yelled my name as I rushed inside and slid my back on the door. My breathing comes in small gasps and I could feel the room spinning. My heart is hammering inside of my chest and all I want to do is just rip it out. I quickly get up, using the edge of the sink to help with my balance and pass cold water on my face. I couldn't have a panic attack here— not now.
I didn't understand why I was feeling the way I was feeling, all that happened was we cuddled next to each other. It wasn't anything serious. So why on earth was I acting like the world was ending?
I was relieved that my breathing was calming down so I quickly hopped in the shower. During my whole showering process, I couldn't stop thinking about what triggered my panic attack. He was just asleep holding me. But, somehow him holding me made the inside of my stomach tickle. I knew this feeling because I used to get it all the time with Cane.
Maybe I was just scared. Maybe the idea of liking someone new put fear in my heart. My heart felt heavy as I began to think more thorough about my feelings. I knew I didn't like Zach the way I liked Cane. Although the feelings that I keep having with Zach are there, I didn't feel the way I felt when I was with Cane. Or how I felt about him now.
I got out of the shower, got ready and quietly made my way to the kitchen. I was kind of glad we went back home today. I didn't want to be around anyone—especially Zach. I kept my distance the whole time and as hard as it was, I succeeded although he kept staring at me on our way back to Austin.
****
The moment I got home I had passed out on my bed. I was so exhausted and was so happy to be back on my own bed, alone. The lights were off and suddenly something didn't feel right. The room was silent and the only noise that you could hear was the sound of my breathing and my fan blowing.
The moment I stared up to my ceiling, I felt my heart become heavy causing myself to choke up. I could feel my eyes getting filled with my tears. I knew the moment I started to cry, I was alone. At that moment, I realized how lonely I truly was. My whole apartment was silent. I reached over to the other side of my bed to find it empty. I used to feel a body next to mine and it had just disappeared.
I used to hear the sound of his breathing as he slept peacefully under me. I used to hear the sound of his heart beating, it had a nice beat to it. I used to have arms wrapped around me as I slept, making me feel protected and safe. The warmth of his kisses being planted on my forehead was still engraved in my head. The amount of security that I felt every time I was with him had vanished. It was gone. He was gone.
I sat up and cuddled in my knees to my chest as I laid my head on top of them. Carefully, I grabbed my phone and scrolled through my contact list to find my best friend's name. With an instant, her voice bubbly on the other end.
"Belle" I breathed out. It was a low and choked up sound that had come out of my mouth. Belle was the only one that I could count on in times like these. Times where I'd miss him badly and where I would just want to call him.
"What's wrong, baby?" She asked me calmly. I could her moving around, almost as if she was finding a comfortable spot to sit on.
"I miss him" I cried. She stood silent for a moment before sighing. I knew she was disappointed in me. Why would I still miss someone that I haven't spoken to in six months? Why would I miss someone that cheated on me constantly? Was I insane? Do I not know my worth?
"I know you do, babes, but you have to remember that this all part of the healing process. You missing him is supposed to happen even if it happens all the time."
"But I don't want to miss him anymore. Why am I even missing him, Belle? He cheated on me."
"You were with him for almost 3 years, Eden. It's normal for you to miss somebody that you were with for a long time. Him cheating on you has nothing to do with you missing him. You don't miss him cheating on you, do you?"
"Of course I don't."
"Okay then. You miss the times you've had together, you miss having someone there to protect you, to love you, to please you. He was your best friend, Eden. Yeah, he was an asshole but you loved him more than anyone. You miss loving someone."
"I—"
"You don't miss him, E. You miss the happiest memories of him. You miss having to rely on someone, you miss enjoying someone's company. You miss the feeling you had when you were with him. The butterflies in your stomach, the never ending laughter and inside jokes you two shared, the reassurance that everything was going to be okay, the way you felt when you with in his arms, protected. It's hard to forget about him but time is working."
I didn't answer back instead I just sobbed and she let me. She didn't say anything else, she just stood silent. She knew there was nothing else to say but to only hear me accept it. Accept that I didn't miss him and that I missed what I used to have when I was with him. When I was with someone. And everything I was feeling with Zach was everything I was feeling when I first met Cane.
"You have to let him go, baby girl."
"I need closure."
"Yeah, you do."
I groaned because I knew what I had to do.
****
Days later, Eden was still avoiding Zach. She couldn't let herself have feelings for him, she didn't want to. Zach was confused as to why she wasn't talking to him but a part of him just didn't care. He was asleep in his bed when there was a knock on his door.
Still waking up, he dragged his feet down the stairs and opened up. It was Chase. Without any greetings, Chase just walked in.
"Well, good morning to you too." Zach rolled his eyes closing the door.
"Do you have any coffee?" Chase asked walking into the kitchen.
"Not for you."
Chase looked back at him and rolled his eyes. He grabbed a cup from the cupboards, poured himself the last bit of coffee that was in the carafe and put it back empty on the coffee machine. Zach walked over to it, grabbed it and gave Chase a perplexed look before rolling his eyes while shaking his head and putting the empty carafe in the sink.
"Are you okay?" Zach asked as Chase took the milk out of the fridge.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" He asked, sitting down at the small table near the window. He grabbed the steel canister full of sugar that sat in the middle of the table and poured some into his cup.
"You don't usually show up at my place asking for coffee." Zach scratched his temple as he leaned against his island.
"What? Yes I do."
"No you don't. You work in a whole café and you always get your coffee from the lobby of your building or you will buy one at the café."
"Hmm" Chase eyes were glued to the window as he took a sip of his coffee. "So I can't have an excuse to see my best friend?"
"I mean, are you going to actually tell me why you came here?"
"Damn, you really want me to go. If you want me to leave just say that."
"I don't. You're a bit anxious and you won't make eye contact."
Chase looked at Zach and sighed. He was having a rough day especially since he had just finished all of his assignments that were due at three that afternoon. And also he had a feeling his and Oliver's relationship was at its point of breaking up.
"Oliver and I haven't spoken since Thanksgiving. I don't even know what the hell is going on with him or if I'm just being paranoid but it just sucks."
"Why do you feel like you're being paranoid?" Zach sat across from Chase.
"He barely answers the phone anymore and then he'll call me back hours later with a lame excuse. And when we are on the phone I can hear movements... maybe it's him moving around but it just seems so weird. We don't FaceTime anymore which is weird and he always seems so nervous on the phone."
"Chase—"
"I know, Zach. I just really liked him, you know?"
"I know. I think you should call him and ask to talk because he should know this is how you're feeling."
"Okay."
Chase got his phone out from his back pockets and dialed Oliver's number. It rung three times before he answered.
"Hey Chase, what's up?"
"Um... Oliver we need to talk."
A sigh came from Oliver, he knew exactly what Chase wanted to talk about and he knew he couldn't avoid him any longer. It was time for the conversation he'd been avoiding.
"I know," he groaned,"let's meet up tomorrow. I have a meeting with the administrator in a few minutes. But we'll talk. I promise."
"Alright. Call me later?"
"I will, handsome. Bye be safe."
"You too."
The conversation ended when Chase hung up the phone and then all the attention went on Zach.
"Hey, what exactly happened between you and Eden the night we left Houston?" Chase asked. He got up and rinsed out the cup before making his way back to the small table. Zach shrugged and stayed silent.
"Oh come on dude."
"I don't really know. She's weird."
"How?"
"She had me cuddle her that night we got back from the cliff and then when she woke up the next morning she freaked out and ran into the bathroom."
" I guess you aren't good at cuddling." Chase laughed.
"Fuck off."
Zach got up from his seat and headed towards the basement making Chase follow behind. He turned on the light before heading on downstairs. The smell of cherries filled the air as they walked into the living room area.
"Look, I know we haven't really spoken like we used to—" Chase started.
"And why is that?"
"What?"
"Why haven't we, Chase? I mean, we see each other almost everyday. It's like ever since Eden, Oliver and Anthony came into our lives it just stopped being you, me and Aaliyah."
Zach sat down, opened up his small fridge and took two beers out. It was true. He couldn't recall the last time him, Aaliyah and Chase hung out without any of the others tagging along. He was so used just Aaliyah and Chase and now he has to start getting used to three more people.
" It's not always going to be just you, me and Aaliyah, Zach. We can't be alone anymore."
"But we weren't alone, Chase. We had each other and Ed."
"You know what I mean"
Zach popped opened his bottle and took a big sip out of it. Chase did the same.
"You have to find somebody, Zach."
"What if I don't want to? What if all I want is just us three together again?"
"Then you'll be alone. It can't be just us three anymore, dude."
"I'm alone then." Zach whispered. He took another drink from his beer and laid his head back on the couch.
"You don't have to be. Eden—"
"Eden has other shit planned for herself. Can't you see that? She doesn't want me and I sure as hell don't want her. Stop forcing me to give her a chance."
Zach rolled his eyes in frustration. All he wanted was for everyone to stop mentioning Eden and what they were going through with each other. He didn't know what Eden was to him, if she was anything to him. And he obviously didn't want to know.
Chase didn't say anything after that. He knew he couldn't change his best friends mind no matter what he said or did. He just had to let time take its course and let them handle it out themselves. His phone suddenly rang and it was Ed.
"Chase?"
"Hey. What's going on?"
"Can you please come to work early today?" The older man asked. Chase checked his watch and saw that he had an hour left until he had to enter work.
"Why? Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, I just have a doctors appointment and I won't be able to come in today. But I'm here in my office and was wondering if you could come in earlier. I already called Eden, she's on her way."
"Yeah, sir, of course. I'm with Zach right now so I'll be there in about 10 minutes Okay?"
"Lovely. Tell Zach I said hello."
"I will, sir. Have a great day."
"You too, Chase. You can close the shop an hour earlier than it's supposed to."
"Alright, sir."
"Chase?"
"Mm?"
"Stop calling me sir"
"Sorry, si— Ed."
"Just call me when you are closing the store, okay?"
"Okay."
Ed hung up.
"What did he want?" Zach asked.
"To go in early. I have to go, Zach. Just come to the café later if you want to."
"I'll think about it."
****
The sun had just went down and the sky was now black. Eden and Chase were finishing up with the last customers that had came in for some coffee. They barely had talked to each other. It wasn't because they were avoiding each other but it was a busy day. After, the last customers left Eden let out a relieved sigh. Chase's phone began ringing. He walked off to the corner of the counter and answered it. Just as Chase was on the phone, Zach opened the door and walked in.
"Axel, are you serious right now?" Chase spoke to the guy on the other line.
"everyone had to evacuate the building." Said the guy, Axel.
"Okay, where's Isaiah?"
"He's at his girlfriends house."
"Fuck. Alright, I'm on my way."
"Alright."
Chase hurriedly put his phone in his pocket before grabbing his sweater.
"E, look, I have to go. Someone pulled the fire alarm in my building and now my friend needs something from my room."
"Is everything alright?" Eden asked.
"Yeah, I just need to go. Can you please—"
"Yeah, I'll close. Don't worry about it."
Chase looked over at Zach who was sitting down writing in his notebook, completely oblivious to the conversation. He knew that if he caught his attention and realized what was happening, Zach would try to make a run for it so he wouldn't stay alone with Eden. He knew that if he had left before Zach realized, Zach would have no choice but to stay behind and watch Eden. So he did just that. He rushed out the door. And just when Zach realized, he quickly grabbed his notebook and ran towards the door but stopped himself before cursing under his breath.
He knew he couldn't leave Eden alone to close, especially when it was dark outside. His mother taught him better than that. Eden let out a chuckle as she wiped down the counter.
"You really don't want to be here alone with me, huh?" She snickered.
"What?" Zach faced her.
"The way you almost rushed out of here when you realized you and I were going to be alone. You seem to hate me that much?"
"Says the one that's been avoiding me since we came back from Houston."
"I haven't been avoiding you."
"Oh really? The other day I tried ordering a toasted bagel with some coffee and you completely ignored me and walked away."
"I was with a customer and you were interrupting."
"There was nobody here but old guy Sam, who by the way, is here everyday and never orders anything."
"I'm pretty sure he ordered something that day."
Eden walked to the other side of the counter and began fixing up the shelves.
"Do you think he's lonely?" Zach asked sitting on the chair.
"Who?"
"Old guy Sam."
"Why would you think that?"
"He's always here and doesn't order anything."
"So that makes him lonely?"
"I mean, if all he does is sit down at the same table every day, at the same exact time, and never orders anything, I guess you can say that he is lonely. He has no place to be."
"Are you lonely, Zach?" Eden suddenly asked.
"Why would you ask me that?" Zach asked confused.
"I mean, if all you do is the same thing that Old Guy Sam does, then that makes you lonely as well."
"I don't do the same thing."
"You walk in here almost everyday, sit at the same booth, writing in that stupid journal of yours, and don't order anything. And what is that notebook of yours, huh? Your diary?"
"Fuck off and leave my notebook alone. Thank you"
"Whatever."
"Make me a bagel and give me a small coffee please?" Zach asked. Eden turned around and scoffed.
"We're closed."
"No you're not."
"Um, yes we are." Eden walked towards the door and flipped the sign to 'We're Closed'. "See? We're closed."
"You just flipped it. And I was in here before it was flipped." Zach said.
"Zach I am not making you anything."
"Fine, I'll make it myself." Zach got up and went over the counter and into the kitchen.
"You can't do that. You can't be in there." Eden followed behind.
"Watch me."
"Zach I'm serious, get out."
Zach grabbed the bags of bagels and took one out.
"Go make me the coffee, Eden, while I make my bagel."
"What are you 5? Give me your hand."
Zach furrowed his eyebrows and confusedly handed her his hand.
"No, bad boy." She said as she slapped the back of his hand three times as if he was a toddler. He snatched his hand away from her. She quickly grabbed the bagel from his hand.
"Leave me alone, Eden. Let me make my bagel!"
"No"
Zach smirked at her and quickly pulled out another bagel from the bag and put it in the toaster. Eden threw her head back in frustration.
"Does making me stress excite you?" She whined.
"Sort of."
"I hate you." Eden walked off. She pulled out one of the coffee cups and started making him the coffee.
"Thank you, doll face."
"Piss off"
Zach laughed out loud as he walked towards the fridge and pulled out the butter. As he waited for his bagel to come up, he faced the back of Eden. His phone rang and it was his mom.
Quickly, he walked out of the kitchen and outside.
"Mom?"
Silence.
"Mom? Are you there? Hello?"
"Zach, baby, how are you?" His mother sniffed.
"I'm good, momma. How about you? Are you okay?"
"Baby," he could hear his moms breathing becoming heavy, she was silent for a moment like she was trying not to burst out crying, "you were always right."
"Momma? What do you mean? Right about what?"
"Your father."
Anger fueled up his blood.
"What did that son of a bitch do to you?" He growled. His mom knew all of his feelings from just the sound of his voice.
"I'm okay, my king."
"What did he do?"
"King—"
"Please?" He lowered his voice. She sighed.
"I'm in the hospital, baby." His moms voice broke. He felt his heart break a little too when he heard her sobs from the other line. "I'm messed up pretty bad."
"Are you drunk?" He asked.
"What?"
"Are you drunk, mom?"
"Not anymore. I've been here for a couple of hours so I'm sober right now."
"Mom, he's not going to stop. You know that right?"
"I know, my love. That's why I'm leaving him."
"What? You are?" A smile formed on his face. He never thought those words would come out of his mother's mouth. His father was the reason why his mom hurt him. His father was who got his mother into the alcoholic person she was now. After a couple of years, she had stopped hitting him. She had stopped insulting him, she had stopped herself from hurting him more.
"I'll tell him tonight."
"You promise?"
"I promise, my little King. You know I love you right?"
"Of course I know, Momma. You know I love you, right?"
"Of course I know, my little king. Now you get some sleep, you have school tomorrow."
"Yes ma'am. Be careful, okay?"
"I will."
"Bye"
Zach stood by the door for a while after they had ended the conversation. He could feel himself about to choke up but he just kept his breathing steady. This was what he wanted. He just wanted his mom to finally leave his father and he didn't think the day would come, he never thought that it would've been this soon. But there was a side of him who was scared that something might happen to his mom when she tries to leave. It made him uneasy and tense. He could feel himself getting anxious and the idea of calling his mom back popped into his head.
Just as he was about to call his mom back he thought of everything that would happen if it did succeed. His father would've hurt her anymore. He wouldn't have to see his father at all, he would move his mom out to Austin so he could be closer to him, he would finally be alone with his mom. The one thing he always wanted. He wanted to see his mom actually happy sober. He wanted to see the change. It was all he ever prayed for.
"You're bagel is getting cold, Zach." Eden opened the door and peaked her head out.
"Coming."
Zach entered the café and began eating.
****
"Can you hurry up, please?" Zach impatiently asked when Eden was putting the chairs on top of tables.
"Maybe if you helped we would leave quick enough."
"Nah I'm good."
"So stop complaining"
"Whatever man."
"If you want to go so bad, you could go. I know how to take care of myself."
"Sure you can. Just hurry up, okay?"
"How bout you just shut the fuck up, okay?" Eden rolled her eyes.
"Alright miss angry bird. Calm down talking to me like that."
Eden ignored him and finished putting up the chairs. She grabbed the keys to the store before grabbing her stuff. After she locked up, she began walking towards her car and Zach followed behind.
"You don't need to walk me to my car" she groaned.
"I'm not, my car is literally behind yours." He scoffed. He turned on his car with his keys and passed her. She rolled her eyes before opening hers.
"What the fuck is your problem with me?" Zach asked.
"My problem?" Eden yelled back.
"Yes, your problem. I don't ever say shit to you and when I do there you go having the worlds biggest attitude."
"Maybe I wouldn't have an attitude if you just stopped thinking that you can get any girl you want."
"When have I ever said that?"
"You don't have to say it in order to believe it."
"You clearly don't know shit about me. Stop thinking I want you, I'm not desperate. I can find any other girl who will be crawling on their knees for me, begging me to take them home, to give them a chance. You aren't the only girl in this world so stop thinking that you are someone important in my life because you are nothing but a girl that's just gonna walk away."
Eden stood quiet. Zach scoffed, got in his car and drove away. She got into her car and just sat there rethinking her decisions. She knew she was tough on him and she thought she had every reason to be but she knew it was just her way of coping with her heartbreak. It had been six months since she had seen Cane and it still pained her to think of him.
She needed closure. She needed to see her even though it was going to hurt. She needed to in order to be happy again.
****
Words counted: 4254
BEAUTY IN THE STORM QUIZ COMING SOON ON THE INSTAGRAM PAGE.
@beaut_yinthestorm