I woke up with the scent of brewed coffee emerging from the kitchen. That must be Kael's doing because there were no other occupants other than the two of us inside my den, for Kai's been ignoring me for days that she prohibits herself from stepping in, nor paying me a quick visit, nor texting me to check on me. But I do check on her from time to time through text. Asking her of her whereabouts and how her day went, yet I didn't receive any response.
Honestly, for me she was a bit overboard with the madness she got toward me. Had no idea where she was coming from, for this never happened in our entire friendship. We've known each other since our diaper days, and never have I thought of her planting such an act for this long.
"Are you okay, Shimon?" It was Kael's voice that brought me back to my senses. "You're deep in thought, mind sharing it with me to lighten up your shoulders?"
Ngumiti ako at umiling. "Wala," sagot ko bago nagsimula ulit kumain.
"Are you sure? 'Cause you've been preoccupied these days. Was this about our date a night ago?"
That night was a blast, but the thought that rocketed in my mind kind of ruined the night that I became a little aloof and reserved. Must be the wounds of my heartaches, unchaining themselves inside me.
"It's not about you," sagot ko.
"If it's not about me, then—"
"Kai's been acting weird. Hindi naman siya ganito. Hindi naman ako natitiis no'n. Ngayon lang." Napatigil ako sa pagkain ko, gano'n din siya na biglang ibinaba ang kutsara't tinidor sa plato niya.
"She's been acting that way because of me, isn't she?"
"Kael—"
"Shimon, let's face it, okay?" he said, looking intently at me, as he leaned his back on his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. "Your friend doesn't like me around. Might be because I inflicted pain in you or because I'm gay. And for her, this kind of set-up isn't acceptable 'cause you're at a high risk of losing, of breaking. And I can't blame her for that, neither she can blame me for falling for you hence my homosexuality. But we can talk that out. I can talk to her to make her feel at ease that I'm so sure about you. Just give me a go signal and I will, Shimon. I will."
"I doubt she hates you for being homosex—"
My words were cut short when he laughed bitterly while shaking his head.
"A lot of people abhor people like me, Shimon. That's reality."
"But Kai isn't one of them."
"Not until circumstances prove it."
"Kael...."
"My availability to talk is up to her watch." He gave me a smile that didn't reach his eyes as he stood from his chair and started cleaning the table. "Go get ready for work. You might run late," he added, darting a quick glance at me.
Something inside me twitched at the idea of him, trying to avoid the topic. And consoling him came at the bottom of my list, for I know that if I were him, I'd rather push people off my circle for a while. Adding the fact that I somehow know where he was coming from—from being loathed by his father, I really decided not to comfort him.
I opted to oblige to his order of dolling up myself for work.
Nang matapos akong maligo at makapag-ayos, lumabas na rin kaagad ako ng kwarto. Nadatnan ko si Kael na nakabihis na at nakasandal sa pader sa gilid ng pintuan habang nakakrus ang mga braso sa dibdib.
"I know you'd turn me down again, but it wouldn't hurt to try and try," he mumbled, smiling. "Can I drive you to school now?"
For the nth time, I said, "No."
He plainly shrugged his shoulders and opened the door instead. "After you," he said.
I then pushed to my feet and left for work.
Kinakarir ko na yata masyado ang pagpapakipot, I laughingly thought to myself when I saw him pouting his lips on my peripheral vision when I walked past him.
Pagdating ko sa school, handful of paper works were waiting for me. Katatapos lang kasi ng midterm examinations ng mga estudyante ko kaya tambak talaga ang gawain naming lahat. Pero hindi ko inasahang makakita ng paper bag ng McDo sa table ko.
My rage cursorily snapped, thinking maybe it came from Cedric. At hindi ako nagkakamali nang bigla itong sumulpot sa harapan ko nang nakangiti.
"I dropped by at McDo earlier—"
Hindi ko na ito pinatapos pa sa pagsasalita at itinulak sa dibdib nito ang paper bag. "Thanks, but no thanks," pagtataray ko. "Makakaalis ka na."
Pinilit kong ngumiti dahil pansin kong pinagtitinginan kami ng ibang mga professors para lang hindi nila mapansing may hindi kami pagkakaintindihan ni Cedric.
Pero may pagkagago yata talaga 'to nang bigla 'tong humarap sa mga co-instructors namin. "Shimon doesn't want to take my present for her, what shall I do, Sirs and Mesdames?" he asked, looking alternately from me to them with his non vanishing smile.
I heard most of them groaned in dismay, but the reaction of our head made me take back the paper bag from his grasp.
"Take it, Miss Vasquez," Mrs. Castro said, fixing her glasses for a clearer image of me. "Show some courtesy to Mister Robles, for giving you a present."
"Opo," sagot ko kaagad.
Ngiting tagumpay ang ibinigay ni Cedric sa 'kin bago kumindat nang kunin ko ang ibinigay nito.
"Now, get back to work, everyone," Mrs. Castro added before having her face covered with the folder on her hand.
Lahat halos nagsipagtahimik at nagsibalik na sa trabaho. May iilan naman na umalis na para sa unang klase kagaya ko.
Buti na lang at maaga ang klase ko, kundi kailangan kong tiisin ang presensya ni Cedric sa faculty. At buti na lang din hindi ko masyadong ininda ang oras ng trabaho, kaya pakiramdam ko bumilis ang takbo ng oras.
Sa sobrang bilis, I just found myself ringing Kai's doorbell later on. Alam kong nasa loob ito kasi nakabukas ang pintuan at tanaw na tanaw 'to mula sa gate ng bahay nito.
Ilang saglit lang lumabas na rin naman iti. May mga bula sa kamay at pisngi at nakapusod ang mahaba nitong buhok habang may mga hibla na tumatakas sa mukha nito.
"Naglalaba ka?" tanong ko kahit halata naman. "Pwedeng tumulong?"
Her lips curved downward, along with the flooding of tears in her eyes.
Agad-agad nitong binuksan ang gate at hinatak ako para yakapin.
"Sorry....Mon-mon....ko...." she sobbed. Mas lalong humigpit ang yakap nito. "Alam....mo namang....ayaw....kong....nasasak.....tan....ka....alam ko....na...kasi.... 'yan....eh....'pag....nainlove ka.....bigay....lahat...'di ka....nagtitira....sa....sa...sarili mo....'di kita....tinitiis....gusto ko....lang....intindihin.....mo rin....sa'n ako....nanggagaling....."
"Naiintindihan ko, pero sana inintindi mo rin kung sa'n din ako nanggagaling," sagot ko habang hinahaplos ito sa likod.
Wala itonh tigil sa paghikbi kahit nang makapasok na kami sa loob ng bahay nito at pinainom ko ito ng tubig.
Pero maya-maya lang tumahan na rin iti kahit papaano at nakapagusap kami nang masinsinan.
I get the point she was trying to dart at, even before this reconciliation with her and I told her that. She admitted that she considers my point, but not to the extent that she'd tolerate someone to agonize me again. She also told me that if Kael's intentions are pure and not made out of the want to get even with my brother, then he should prove himself to me and to her. The problem is, Kai was so sure with her plan to heighten my walls and would watch how Kael would brave his ways through it.
"Sabihin mo sa kanya, tutal sabi niya depende sa 'kin kung kailan ako pwedeng makipag-usap, mag-inuman kamo tayong apat sa Sabado nang makapag-usap kami nang masinsinang hayop siya." Daig pa nito ang nakainom na sa pagsasalita. May pa-duro-duro pa ito ng hintuturo sa kung saan.
Pero laking pagtataka ko kung sino 'yong isa dahil sinabi nitong apat. Although I could already sense who that person is, I still chose to ask. "Bakit apat?" kunot-noong usisa ko.
Bigla ako nitong binatukan bago inis na isinagaw ang sagot sa tanong ko. "Si Cholo, malamang! Alangan namang maging third wheel ako sa inyo ng jowa mong shokla?!"
Binatukan ko rin ito bago rin isinigaw ang sagot ko. "Malay ko ba na kayo pa rin pala ng jowa mong mukhang bisugo na mukhang takot sa araw at bihirang magpakita sa 'yo!"
"Fyi, mama! Madalas na kaming magkita!"
"Weh?!" gulat at natutuwa kong tanong.
"Oo!" She giggled.
"Buti naman gumagawa na siya ng paraan para magkita kayo, ano!" Napapalakpak pa ako sa tuwa. "Ano'ng nakain niyan at madalas nang makipagkita sa 'yo?"
"Ako!"
"Pota naman, Kai! Umayos—"
"Truelabels nga! 'Di man na kami workmates ngayon kasi pulis na ang bruha mong bestie, neighbors naman na kami ng opisina, baks. Kaya madalas magjugjugan—Aray!" Napahimas ito bigla sa pisngi na bigla kong tinampal.
"Pulis yern?! Ba't ang bastos?!"
"Gaga! Parang 'di ka pa nasanay sa kabulastugan ng mga pulis! Tanga yern?!"
Napatikhim naman ako bigla sa sinabi nito at napaiwas ng tingin.
"Sorry, Mon. Na-carried away ako sa kagagahan natin eh."
"Ok lang, ano ka ba," tipid ngiti kong sabi rito bago tumayo. "Punta na 'ko sa bahay, magbibihis pa 'ko, eh. Balik ako kaagad para tulungan kang maglaba," pag-iiba ko ng usapan.
Ngumiti rin ito nang tipid bago sumagot. "'Wag na. Magpahinga ka na, Mon. Kailangan mo 'yon."
"Thank you, Kai," mahinang sabi ko.
"Basta 'wag mo kalimutang sabihin kay bakla na mag-iinuman tayo sa Sabado at kakausapin ko siya heart to heart."