"Breaking news!" Soar the Eagle announced. "An epidemic is sweeping across the globe. Beaver Fever!"
Sonic and his friends took a step back, along with the other villagers.
"I'm not talking about an actual disease, of course. I'm colorfully describing the mania surrounding teen singing sensation... Justin Beaver. Girls everywhere are going gaga over this teen heartthrob. They just can't get enough of him. And suddenly, "Dad the Anchorbird" isn't cool anymore. Well, maybe Justin Beaver will foot the bill for private school instead of buying those golf clubs he really wanted!"
"Just what the world needs." Sticks hissed as they walked off. "Another cookie-cutter pop star force-fed to us by the man!"
"I'm not a fan of pop music, there's no way I would fall for this guy," Penny said, agreeing with Sticks.
"You're right," Sonic said in agreement. "This "Beaver Fever" thing is clearly just a marketing ploy to sell sub-standard music to gullible teenage girls. Who could possibly fall for it?"
Just as he said it, Amy ran up to the group holding Justin Beaver merchandise, her face showing insane excitement. "Isn't Justin great?!" She asked in a rush. "When I listened to his first song, Girl, I Like You, I wasn't sure if Justin was actually talking about me. But then his next song was titled Yes, I'm Actually Talking About You, and I, like, totally freaked out!"
"How can you allow yourself to become a pawn of the corporate fat cats?" Sticks asked.
"You really should be careful on what you listen to, Amy, we don't know what this guy is putting in your head through these songs," Penny said, looking at Amy's overexcited form with worry.
"Before you judge, just listen to one track. I don't want to overhype it... BUT HE'S THE GREATEST ENTERTAINER WHO EVER LIVED!" She shrieked.
"Okay, that's scary," Penny said.
At Amy's, Penny soon found herself swept in the music, much to Sonic's surprise. What happened to not liking pop? Amy's radio played the song. "Girl, now it's time I told you about my serious condition. I can't stop thinking about you, have to call a physician."
Sonic glanced worriedly at Penny, who looked like she was freaking out with excitement. Sonic stood up and turned the music off. "Ugh. That was terrible!"
"I finally have a soundtrack for my nightmares," Knuckles moaned.
"I... love it!" Sticks said.
"ME TOO!" Penny squealed.
"I knew I could rely on Sticks and Penny to be the voice of reason!" Amy grinned wildly at the girls.
"We're through the looking glass here, people. White is black, and black is white." Tails warned.
"Wait until you hear the rest of the album!" Amy squealed, and she, Penny, and Sticks all started fangirling like crazy. Sonic glanced at Penny. "Pen, you still up for that hike tomorrow?"
"Yeah, sure," Penny said. She turned back to the girls and they started squealing.
Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails walked into Penny's bedroom the next day to pick her up for the hike. "Hello? Penny? You said you were..."
His mouth dropped open. What was once a room with ordinary designs was now filled with Justin Beaver posters, mugs, and Teeshirts.
"What happened in here?" Knuckles asked.
"I turned my room into a tribute for Justin!" Penny squealed, hopping up and down like a fangirl. Sonic frowned. "Oh... is that what's going on here?"
"PENNY!"
The gang turned around to see Amy and Sticks running up, their eyes wide with excitement. "Penny! Penny! You are not gonna believe it. Justin Beaver is in town, and he's doing a signing at the music shop right now!"
More squealing.
"And he'll be performing in concert at the Villiage Center this weekend!"
Even more squealing.
"You really need to stop doing that." Sonic moaned, covering his ears.
"What should we wear?!" Penny asked.
"I was thinking about wearing the one outfit that I own!" Amy said.
"ME TOO!" Sticks squealed.
Sonic frowned as he watched Sticks, Penny, and Amy ran out, squealing. "I can understand Amy fangirling out, but Penny and Sticks? There's something fishy about this "Beaver Fever." We need to investigate."
...........................................................................
At the music store, Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails watched as a whole line of girls waited for Justin's signing. Dixon walked up to them, smirking. "I hope you ladies are ready because here he is! The boy who'd sweep you off your feet if he didn't have such tiny little arms, your favorite global pop phenomenon... Justin Beaver!"
Justin walked in and started singing photos to the fangirls, saying the same line each time one came to him. "You're the only girl I ever care about."
Sonic frowned when Penny received hers, along with an, "You're the only girl I ever care about." She squealed and ran off.
Lady Walrus cooed, "BE my baby!" And she fainted.
"Just step over her. We're not selling enough merch. Turn up the track!"
"Yo, yo, my doc warned you are my cholesterol. But baby, I know you're the best of all."
The girls squealed, buying at least two to three copies of Justin's album.
"Whatever's going on, that guy's behind it." Sonic frowned, pointing at Dixon. The three boys were about to walk up but were stopped by Salty.
"Music industry professionals only," Salty said.
"Don't worry, I got this," Knuckles smirked. He pulled out a trumpet and started playing it badly. Tails glanced at Sonic. "How are we gonna convince this guy we're in the music biz?"
"I know just what to do..."
"We'll form our very own boy band!" Sonic grinned. They were now back in Sonic's shack.
"Did you really have to bring us all the way down here to finish that sentence?" Tails asked.
"A boy band?!" Knuckles asked. "We'll lose our street cred! What about our machismo?" He let out a smile at the thought. "Mmm, Cheese-mo."
"I know," Sonic said. "But if we want to find out what's going on with the girls, we're going to have to man up."
"And by "man up," you mean rehearse a choreographed dance routine and matching sequined outfits?" Tails asked.
"Exactly!" Sonic grinned. "It's gonna take a lot of hard work, so we'd better get started."
Soon, the three boys, wearing matching sparkly white tuxedoes, made a dance in sync. Sonic grinned when they were finished with the intro. "That was way easier than I thought."
"Now we just have to pick a name." Tails said.
"Well, we've still got a little montage time left," Sonic said, checking his watch.
The gang soon tried writing down ideas, but they ended up wasting a lot of paper. Tails even did an equation on the chalkboard, but sighed, rubbing it off. Pages of the calendar started flying around...
"Knuckles, stop tearing pages off that calendar!" Sonic called, not looking up from the paper.
"Okay, fine!" Knuckles grumbled.
"We're supposed to be thinking of band names!" Sonic said.
"I was saving this name for if I ever formed a band, but how about..." Knuckles grinned at the group. "Dude-Itudes?"
Sonic shook his head. "That's too awesome sounding. It needs to be something soft and inoffensive. Something like--"
"Dreamboat Express?" Tails asked.
"EWW!"
"It's perfect!" Sonic grinned.
...................................................................
The gang was about to walk up to the stage, but Salty held up his hand. "Music industry professionals only."
"We are music industry professionals. We're Justin's opening act." Sonic said, and the boys started singing a tune and dancing in sync.
Salty shook his head.
"I guess this is the end of Dreamboat Express." Knuckles sighed.
"Dreamboat Express"?" Salty grinned. "With a name like that, you've gotta be professionals." He said, opening the gate for them. "Come on in."
Backstage...
Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails hid behind a stand. Dixon was talking to Wild Cat about the plans for tonight's band.
There he is." Sonic whispered, pointing to Dixon. "Now to find out his evil scheme."
"Your three o'clock got moved to six o'clock, your six o'clock got moved to four o'clock..." Wild Cat rambled.
Tails glanced at Sonic and Knuckles. "I guess it makes sense that he wouldn't conveniently reveal his evil scheme the exact moment we happen to be listening." The kitsune whispered.
"Shifting gears completely, how's our evil scheme coming along?" Dixon asked.
"Lookin' good! Justin will debut his new single, which has fifty percent more mind control!" Wild Cat snickered.
"Perfect!" Dixon grinned. "Any female within a five-mile radius will be turned into a mindless consumer zombie, and I'll be reaping the profits!" He laughed evilly.
"Mind control," Sonic grumbled. "That explains it."
The stand was soon moved, and Dixon gasped at the sight of Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails. "Intruders! Get them!"
Immediately, Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails soon ran, followed by Dixon and Wild Cat. There was some switching around nonsense. In the end, Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails ran to Penny, Amy, and Sticks to tell them the shocking news. However, Penny, Sticks, and Amy waved them off as if they were crazy.
"Mind control?" Amy asked. "That's preposterous! Justin would never do that. He and I have a special bond."
"Me too!" Penny grinned insanely.
"Me too!" Sticks added. "He even wrote a song only about me. It's called Every Single Girl I've Ever Met!"
"But it's true!" Knuckles said, his eyes wide. "Justin's producer conveniently revealed the whole scheme! Right in front of us!" He scoffed. "Talk about lazy writing."
"Trust us, guys," Amy said. "We're not under mind control." She turned to Sticks. "Let's get to that concert so we can spend our life savings on Justin Beaver Merchandise!"
Amy, Penny, and Sticks ran off, squealing.
"Don't worry." Tails said, patting Sonic's shoulder. "I know just what to do..."
At Tails' shack...
"Since the mind control is embedded in Justin's music track, there must be an opposite sound frequency that could counter it. Just need to find it. Thus, Measure-o-Meter!" He grinned, holding out his device.
"It's fun to bring people a long way to finish a sentence, isn't it?" Sonic snickered.
"It really is!" Tails grinned back.
............................................................................
Finally, the hour drew near for the Sing-Off.
"And now, here he is. The nocturnal, semi-aquatic rodent of your dreams, Justin Beaver!" The announcer called to the cheering audience.
Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails headed for the backstage area, dressed in their white uniforms. "In order for me to calibrate the Measure-o-meter, we need to get on that stage without being seen." Tails said.
"Hey! You there!"
Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails turned to see Salty grinning at them. "The show's starting! The opening act needs to be up on that stage!"
Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails walked backstage, whistling. Salty grinned. "Man, I'm good at my job. What would they do without me?"
"Has your Measure-o-meter discovered the counter-frequency?" Sonic asked Tails once they were backstage. Tails shook his head. "Not yet. We have to stall Justin!"
The three gave a nod, and ran on stage, startling Justin. "Who're you?"
"DREAMBOAT EXPRESS!" Sonic said. He groaned. "I hate that name." He cleared his throat and glared at Justin. "And we challenge you... to a sing-off!"
"What are they doing here?!" Dixon snarled.
Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails started singing. "You should expect the expected, and nothing more 'cause you've all heard this song and dance before! Our moves are stale, our harmony's bland, 'cause we're just another -- whoo! -- generic boy band!"
"Who're those guys?" Penny asked curiously.
"Wow," Amy grinned. "They're pretty good!"
"I'd sure like to meet those guys someday!" Sticks grinned.
"Me too!" Penny said. "Especially the blue one!"
Justin waved them off and began singing. "I've got a bold confession, and I think it's time you knew. I'm into you specifically, girl, and no other girl will do."
"HE'S TALKING ABOUT ME!!" Amy, Penny, and Sticks squealed. They glared at each other. "IN YOUR FACE!"
Penny let out a startled squeal of excitement as Justin walked up to her and gave her a wink.
Sonic and the others jumped back in again. "Yo, yo, yo! We're bringing it weak, and we're bringing it lame... Whatever we can do to keep it all the same! We're focus-tested and radio-friendly!"
"The only thing that matters is that we stay trendy!" Tails sang.
Justin sang again, "You're unique, you're complex and interesting, girl, and I'm not being hyperbolic. Let's carve our name into a tree. It's vandalism... but it's symbolic!"
Dreamboat Express jumped back in again. "You should expect the expected, and nothing more 'cause you've all heard this song and dance before! Our phony-baloney image is bland 'cause we're just another -- Huh! -- generic boy band!"
Justin then fought back again. "Won't you please be my special girl? We'll do the things you want to do. And take a trip to the place you like, and be home before CUUUUURFFFEEEEEWWWWW!"
Tails Measure-o-Meter started beeping, and Tails grinned. "The counter-frequency! Of course! I should have known all along!"
The boys quickly rounded up drums and guitars. Sonic grinned at the crowd. "Drop that generic phat beat!" Sonic exclaimed, strumming a note on his electric guitar.
"Not Rock and Roll!" Dixon cried, running from the stage.
Knuckles grinned at the crowd, raising his drumsticks. "Ladies and..." He paused. "Uh.. Ladies. Prepare for the bad boy musical stylings of... Dude-itude!"
Sonic began singing the first line. "You thought we'd never beat the fever but now we're here to make you believers! Sonic and crew, rockin' with the chemistry! Crummy boy band music is the enemy!"
Sonic strummed a sound wave that knocks off the mind control. Penny gasped, looking around. Where was she? She glanced up at the stage in shock. Was that Sonic? He never told her he could do that!
"What happened?" Amy asked beside Penny. "Where are we?"
"I don't know, but listen to that sweet guitar solo!" Sticks grinned.
Justin, now free from the mind control, stood up. "Your power rock ballad has freed me from the evil spell of mind control!" He grinned. "Now I can move into an industry where I won't be exploited by unscrupulous producers. Hello, humiliating reality TV series!"
"I'm ruined... I'm ruined!" Dixon wailed.
Sonic and the others continued singing. "We're here! We're Dude-itude! And though you may find us crude and rude, we have to conclude you'll come unglued now that you've heard us...DUDE- ITUDE!!"
After the show, Penny ran up to Sonic and the gang. "You. Were. AMAZING up there!" She squealed. "I didn't know you have that much talent!"
"You'd be surprised on how much more talent we have when we work as a team," Sonic grinned, placing an arm around her shoulders. "We're just glad to have you back."
"It's good to be back." Penny grinned. "You know; I need to get rid of the Justin Beaver props and decorations in my room. You wanna help?"
"It'd be my pleasure." Sonic grinned, and the two walked off.
Next Chapter: It Takes a Village To Defeat a Hedgehog