I managed to contact Arthree on our way to the rooftop of the Jedi Temple, prompting her to meet us all there. As planned, Fives arrived on the rooftop, where he picked up Obi-Wan, Grogu, Arthree, and I. The second we were all inside, our journey to Mustafar officially began.
Obi-Wan and Fives have spoken amongst themselves during the flight. After everything that we believed happened with Fives, there is certainly much to talk about. While they've spoken to each other, Arthree has been on babysitting duty with Grogu, who is sound asleep.
While I love the company of everyone on this ship, I could not bring myself to speak during the journey. I wanted to contribute something to their conversations, but I simply could not form the words. With so much on my mind, I've lost the capability to function as I normally would.
Although I wouldn't admit it to either of them, I'm enduring an inner conflict between anger, guilt, and denial. Whatever Anakin is going through, it is partly to do with me. I can't help but be angry with everyone who has led to his downfall, I feel guilty for not stopping him from progressing down this path, and I am still desperate to deny it all.
After what feels like a lifetime of travelling, the ship finally comes out of hyperspace, and the red, hellish planet of Mustafar is revealed before my very eyes. I haven't been here before, but I've heard what it's like from Anakin and Ahsoka.
The two of them came here during a mission involving Cad Bane and Force-sensitive younglings. I remember their eery, chilling descriptions of the planet. From what they said, the terrain is the epitome of the dark side; lava, imbalance, instability, hell.
My hand hovers above the control board in the ship, but I cannot find the strength to press anything. The moment we land on Mustafar will signify the loss of the life I had. Whether I manage to save Anakin or not, there is no denying that our relationship will be tarnished. I don't have the strength to willingly put myself through that pain, especially now that our children are part of the equation.
Fives unexpectedly comes into the cockpit and sits in the co-pilot seat beside me. He flips the necessary control switches without saying a word, and the Naboo ship begins its descent into the atmosphere of Mustafar.
I'm afraid, and that's an emotion I'm not overly familiar with. The unfamiliarity of it makes it difficult for me to act in a way that would typically be deemed as normal. I want to thank him for his help, or at least smile, but I find myself incapable of doing so.
My brother places his hand over mine, prompting me to meet his gaze. I can see the concern for me in his eyes. He knows how much I love Anakin, and he is fully aware that my family means more to me than anything. That knowledge means he has some idea of how much this is hurting me.
"You're going to save him, (Y/N)," He reassures me.
Fives has always believed in me. Whether I'm following through with a chaotic mission tactic or struggling to control the three children of the 501st (Cal, Ahsoka, and Anakin), he always has faith that I will succeed. That kind of encouragement is what I desperately need, but it still doesn't feel like enough.
"I hope you're right," I reply. "Because I don't know what I'm going to do if I fail."
I slowly pull my hand away from his grasp, knowing that this sentimental moment will make me cry if I allow it to continue. Besides, this ship isn't going to land itself, and we all know that I'm the best pilot here.
I call out to Arthree, who quickly rolls into the cockpit. She plugs into the computer terminal and activates the landing mechanisms for the ship. I may not have the other half of my soul with me, but I do have the greatest co-pilot in the galaxy.
With our combined skills, Arthree and I manage to slowly lower the ship into the ashy, unbalanced air of Mustafar. We land on a platform away from the fiery lava river, and I instantly feel disconnected.
On the surface, the dark side is somehow even stronger. Anakin's Force signature isn't just weak here, it is non-existent.
Fives, Arthree, and I leave the cockpit and meet Obi-Wan back in the main part of the ship. He seems lost in thought or at least consumed by his own anxiety.
"Stay in the ship, no matter what," I urge. "I don't know how Anakin will react if he sees you."
Whether he is now Darth Vader or Anakin Skywalker, it cannot be denied that he will murder any Jedi he sees. I witnessed today how far he was willing to go to embrace this new persona when I found my Master dying on the ground. If I saw him hurting Obi-Wan too, I wouldn't be able to control my emotions.
"I don't want you going out there alone," Fives says, his brotherly instincts showing. "I'm no Jedi; he has no reason to harm me."
If I were in his position, I would also be reluctant to let someone I love rush into a situation like this without backup. His concern makes sense, but I cannot allow it to change what I have planned.
"I know you're worried, Fives, but I need to go out there alone. I don't know how he'll react to anyone else. The only thing I'm certain of is that he will not hurt me," I explain.
I can feel that Fives wants to argue against this, but he chooses against it. Although he is concerned for my safety, he is also aware that I'm right. This is the best way to act.
"Stay safe out there, (Y/N)," Obi-Wan responds, seemingly seeing the value in my plan.
I give them a nod in acknowledgement, but do not say anything more. My mind is focused on something else now, and that something is Anakin Skywalker.
I lower the ramp at the side of the ship and cautiously survey the area. The first thing I notice is the green starfighter Anakin brought here, which means he shouldn't be far from where I am now. That thought would usually make me happy, but today it has the opposite effect.
I walk down the ramp until my feet are on the landing platform. There's no turning back now; only moving forward.
A hooded figure runs to the landing platform, as though they are running to see me. They feel unfamiliar, but that unfamiliarity tells me exactly who it is. This dark figure is Anakin, or at least what's left of him.
He hurries to me and scoops me into his arms. In his embrace, I can feel the faint signature of the man I love. The darkness seemingly pushes away from his heart, allowing him to show me the man I've always known him to be.
I came here knowing I had to be emotionally distant to get through this. Now that I'm here, in his embrace, I don't think I can stick to that. All I want is his love. That's all I have ever wanted.
"What are you doing here?" Anakin asks, his voice as soothing as ever. "I thought you would have been on Naboo by now."
If I had done as he asked and left for Naboo, things would have turned out differently. My children and I would be protected from the attack, and I never would have been exposed to his dark side. While that would make my life simpler, it would also mean I'd be living a lie.
"I know what you did," I state, not willing to sugarcoat the truth.
He pulls away from the embrace and examines my face. I don't allow my eyes to meet his, for that would be enough to make me cave completely. If I look into those blue eyes, I will only be consumed by my love for him.
"I did this for us, so we can be happy," He says.
The way he is speaking reveals one thing; he genuinely does not see the fault in his actions. This isn't like what I saw on Mortis. There, he was the pawn of the Son, unable to properly think for himself. Here, he is fully aware of what he has done.
I pull my hands out of his grasp and take a slight step backward. I know he would never hurt me, even if his main persona is now this Darth Vader figure. What I'm concerned about are my personal feelings. If I remain too close, I will get lost in my own attachment.
"You thought that pledging yourself to darkness and killing almost everyone I have ever loved was going to make me happy?" I ask, my voice breaking mid-sentence. "Have you lost your mind?"
My voice is fragile; broken. I knew his decisions were somehow related to me and the visions we were experiencing. I didn't want to believe it, but now I cannot deny it.
"The Chancellor promised me I would be able to save you and our children with my new power. Those visions will never come true," He explains.
Chancellor Palpatine is the very person who directed the clones to execute Order 66. I was not exempt from that order. If The Chancellor were truly concerned for my safety and intended to help Anakin save me, the clones would have been instructed to spare my life. That did not happen today.
"Anakin, the clones tried to kill me," I state.
"The clones were ordered to protect you," He counters, acting as though this couldn't be the truth.
Watching men I have fought alongside for years turn on me without any hesitation is something that will haunt me for the rest of my miserable life. I know what I saw; those men were given specific orders to murder me.
"I hate to tell you, but your new 'master' lied to you," I remark.
"He wouldn't," He argues, completely blinded by his newfound loyalty.
It takes every bit of self-control I have to not break into tears. I feel completely helpless. No matter what I say, no matter how hard I try, Anakin is incapable of listening to anything I have to say.
"Are you really going to believe him over me?" I croak.
His inability to give me an instant response is the only answer I need. He has become so blinded by the dark side that his judgement is clouded in every possible way. He once trusted me more than anyone else, including himself, but now that trust is fading.
"Join me, (Y/N)," He pleads, ignoring my question. "With our combined power, we'll be able to kill The Chancellor. The galaxy will be ours to rule."
I have never wanted power or control. The only things I have ever wanted in life are love, peace, and hope. I don't want to rule the galaxy; I want to have a family with the man I love.
I want to give birth to my children on Naboo and give them the best lives possible. I want to be by their side during every big moment; their first words, their first steps, their first day of school, their first heartbreak, their first breakdown, their first time flying. I want to watch them take on the galaxy, and guide them to be the best possible versions of themselves.
I want to sit beside my husband with our fingers intertwined as we watch our children find love and start families of their own. I want to grow old with the man I love on the most beautiful planet in the entire galaxy.
"I don't want to rule the galaxy, Anakin!" I shout. "All I want is you and your love."
I step forward and cup Anakin's face in my hands, just like he has done to me countless times. I need him to be reminded of how much I love him, and how much we both stand to lose.
"Love can't save you and our children, (Y/N), but this power can," He counters, his own eyes starting to fill with tears.
"Anakin, there is one thing in the galaxy that I would rather die than lose. That's you! Don't do this, please," I beg, the desperation in my heart becoming too much for me to handle.
He closes his eyes and begins to concentrate on something. It's only seconds before I realise that he's somehow using the Force to feel everything that I feel. This is an ability we both possessed when our souls were connected, but that's no longer possible. At least, it shouldn't be.
I try my hardest to push back any negative feelings in my heart, but I'm not strong enough. No matter how hard I try to bury them, he manages to bring them back.
"Can you feel it?" He asks. "The burning of your heart. The struggle between the light and the dark. The fear and anger within you are stronger than any Jedi. Give in to it, (Y/N). Join me."
I cannot deny that my heart feels conflicted between the two sides of the Force. Regardless of what I am feeling, I know one thing for certain; I am the light side of the Force. I will not sacrifice my morals and my purpose, not when the galaxy is at stake.
More than that, I will not expose my children to a life filled with darkness. They deserve to have hearts filled with hope and love, not anger and hatred.
"Anakin get your ass on that ship now!" I shout through the tears. "I won't ask again."
I may sound angry, but that's not how I truly feel. If anything, I am desperate. No matter what I say, Anakin will not come back to me, and I don't know what else I can do to get him to agree.
"Stay with me," He begs.
Tears begin to spill down my cheeks as I finally accept the truth. I know what this means; we'll never be together again. The life I had, the life I had dreamed of since the day we got together, is gone. I will make sure my children have a good life, but he will not be part of it.
"No," I cry.
The remaining fragments of my heart are destroyed with this single word. This indicates that we are fulfilling our destinies. Anakin has chosen to embrace the dark side, desperate for its unnatural, dangerous power, whereas I have remained committed to the light, and the hope it brings.
Nothing will ever be the same again, and that is a fact that the entire galaxy is going to have to live with.
"You promised you would never leave. That it would be us forever," He says, his voice growing louder with each word he speaks.
I scan his eyes for the first time since I arrived on this hell planet. The kindness and warmth I have grown so familiar with are gone, with no trace of it remaining. What remains looking at me now is dark. His eyes are not the same, horrific yellow associated with the Sith, but it's only a matter of time.
"I promised Anakin Skywalker that I would never leave him. I don't know who you are, but you are not the man I love!" I yell back at the evil standing before me.
His focus suddenly shifts to something past my shoulder. His saddened, desperate expression from before shifts into something else entirely. Any shroud of light left in his eyes melts into hatred of the highest degree.
"It was him, wasn't it?" He spits, venom filling his once kind and peaceful voice.
I follow his furious gaze to a man standing on the ramp of Padme's ship. I remember I specifically told him to remain out of sight to allow me to handle this. I should have known better than to trust that he would listen.
He descends to the foot of the ramp and I instantly run before him. I need him to get back on that ship, or at least stay far enough away from Anakin to avoid any problems.
"Obi-Wan, what are you doing?" I stammer, my inner panic growing.
Gasoline is poured onto the spark of fear in my stomach. I knew things weren't going to end the way I had hoped for, but I did not think they'd get this bad. My hands tremble uncontrollably and more tears spill down my cheeks.
"I'm sorry," He croaks, unable to say much more.
He waves his hand in front of my forehead, initiating some sort of Force mind trick. If I had been in a better emotional state, my strength in the Force would have allowed me to combat this mental attack. Due to my lack of focus, I instantly feel my mind clouding and my vision fading.
I begin shaking my head violently, desperate to push this feeling out of mind. The problem is, it is only getting stronger. Obi Wan's strength in the Force is much weaker than mine, but I'm not in control. That means I have no chance of stopping it.
"What have you done?" I gasp.
I fall backwards but am caught by Obi-Wan before I can hit the ground. I can see the guilt on his face, and I can't help but feel the regret already lingering in his heart.
"Forgive me," He mumbles just loud enough for me to hear.
If Anakin were still in control, he would have rushed to my aid by now. Seeing me like this would be enough for him to abandon any ambitious plans he had. The fact that he is not at my side further proves that he is no longer the man I knew.
As my mind drifts away from consciousness, all I can hear is the angry shouts of Darth Vader followed by the unmistakable sound of lightsaber ignitions.