Cliche(A parody)

By The_Akward_Silence

40.6K 2K 2.5K

This is a parody of all those cliche stories that you absolutely LOVE. #255 in Humor More

Cliche(A parody)
Cliche # 1: The Insecure Heroine & The Typical Bad Boy
Cliche # 2 The Ridiculous 1D Fanfic & The Rejected Mate
Cliche# 3: The Cheating Mate & The Main that Cries Too Much
Cliche #4 : Don't Make The Author Angry
Cliche # 5: The Author Never Kills The Main
Cliche #6 The Kidnapping "Werewolf"
Cliche #7: The Stockholm Syndrome Main
A Serious Note
Cliche# 8 :BFF Love
Cliche # 10: The Bet
Cliche #11: A Grammar Nazi's Worst Nightmare
Cliche #12: My BFB [1]
Cliche #13: Lesbihonest(sneak peek)
Cliche# 13: Lesbihonest
Cliche #14: It All Turns Out To Be A Dream

Cliche # 9: The New 'Badass' In Town

1.6K 85 34
By The_Akward_Silence

Sup, my name is The New Chick and don't fucking laugh! Yeah, I fucking curse and I love doing it! I'm currently holding my teddy bear Mr.Love Snuggles while smoking an electronic cigarette. I'm sitting in the park of the new town I moved into only a day ago. I knew that nothing eventful was going to happen. I knew that I'm not going to meet a bad boy who turns out to be a love interest or make a type of bet that will soon turn into a beautiful love story. I'm also not going to slowly open up to the said bad boy who will somehow solve all of my problems. I know for sure that the bad boy will not have a smirk permanetly on his face and acts like a prostitute that never charges their customers. I let out the puff of vapor that I was holding in and blew it slowly with a brooding, but sexy look on my face. I guess you can call me a badass-

"IS THAT A MY LITTLE PONY TOY?" The little girl who I squealed at looked at me with shock and a hint of fear.

"Y-yes." She meekly replied while holding it tighter to her chest.

"Gimme!" I whined out while holding my arms out toward her.

"No!" The brat whined while sheilding my view of the adorable toy.

"I WANT IT!" I shouted at her. This made her jut out her bottom lip and pout.

"No."

"Come on- ARGH!" I fell to the ground in agony from how hard the little girl kicked me. Tears streamed down my face on how painful the kick was.

"Stop being a little bitch." I heard the little girl say before giving me a kick to the stomach and walking away with the toy still in her hands.

"Why you-"

"You okay there?" I heard a deep and sexy voice ask me. Standing up, I got a look at the sexy voice and I almost fainted from how much of a perfect male specimen he was. He was dark all over and when I meant dark, I mean he was literally covered head to toe in black.

"I'm good." I said coolly, but couldn't hide the squeak that naturally comes into my voice.

"Who are you?" He asked in a deep and croaky voice.

"I'm The New Chick, who're you?" I asked while looking down at him. He was seriously short like he was as tall as a five year old who has a growth problem. It looked so sexy on him. I had to actually get on my knees(not complaining about that)and then actually bend down some more just to be able to make eye contact with him.

"I'm Batman." Well that kinda explains the cape and the mask.

"You're kinda um not what I expected." I said while making subtle hints about his challenging height.

"A lot of people tell me that." He shrugged. Midget Batman suddenly whipped his head around in alarm.

"What is it?" I asked in also alarm.

"My bat senses are tingiling."

"Isn't Spiderman that one with the-"

"Shut up." He interrupted me, and quite rudely I might add.

AHHHHHH

"What in the hell is that?" I asked while covering my ears.

"Joker."He then ran off into the street, which wasn't very safe since he needs adult supervision.

"Hey, you're supposed to look left and the right in the street! " I lectured him while also following.

Midget ignored me and stopped at the end of the road to see two small children fighting. One was kicking the shit out the other one and laughed maniacally.

"Joker!" He shouted.

The child stopped kicking the life out of the other one and walked up to us. What I saw wasn't a child, but a middle age man dressed as a clown. He was actually slightly taller than Batman.

"Why so serious?" The clown cackled at the other midget.

"You need to stop beating up on children!" Batman spat out while flapping his cape.

"That isn't a child! That's your sidekick, Robin!" Joker laughed maniacally while holding his tiny stomach.

"Robin, I though I told you to stay in the cave!" Batman scolded the other midget that was picking them self up off of the ground.

"I-I was craving some ice cream and I went out to buy some, when I ran into Joker who was buying a lollipop." I noticed that this midget was wearing green tights and a red shirt with a capital "R" on the breast. He also had a small little cape on his back.

" You dumbass!" Batman shouted at Robin.

"S-sorry." Robin said while sniffling.

"Well, it's fun talking you guys and all, but I have somewhere to be hehe. " Joker said while giving a Cheshire grin. Before all of us could register what happened, Joker threw a ball on the ground and purple smoke filled his place. Cackling could be heard and also footsteps. When the smoke cleared, Joker was gone.

" Dammit! Come on Robin, to the Batmobile!" Batman pointed at the direction of the park and ran. Robin and I followed.

"Um." I said when I saw Batman climb into his 'Batmobile'.

"What is it?" He questioned.

"That's a tricycle." I pointed at the small black tricycle with a Batman logo plastered on every inch of it. Robin hopped on the back of the tricycle and held on to Batman's shoulders.

"Shush. " Batman told me.

"To the Batcave! " Batman rode off into the sunset with his sidekick Robin. That would be the last I've ever seen of the Midget.

***************

I was walking down the hallway to my new school and was relieved to see that the people there weren't midgets. I stepped inside the main office and walked to the counter.

"I'm The New Chick and I'm here to get my new schedule. " I told the old lady occupying the counter.

"Oh, here's your schedule." I took the sheet of paper out of her hands and read through it.

Art- Best Friend

Math-Love Interest

Science-Best Friend

Gym-Love Interest

Lunch- Best Friend & Love Intrest

History-Best Friend

English- You're Alone.

"Why does it say Best Friend and Love Interest?" I asked while pointing at the schedule in confusion.

"Oh those are the things we inform new students like yourself of their first day of this school. Speaking of that, I have to give you your bestie and love interest." The old lady went inside a room and pulled out a girl with dark hair and blue eyes smiling and then a guy with dark hair and green eyes with a smirk.

"Now, you need to be careful while handling them. You need to love and cherish you bestie and also your love interest. Do you understand me?"

"I think so... "

"Good. Now your best friend is going to show you around and also introduce you to the Bad Boy."

Suddenly, the girl walked up to me and waved." Hello, my name is Emily and I'll be showing you around."

"Cool.... " I said uneasily since her head was tilted and smiling while never blinking.

"So, can you show me your schedule?"

"Here." I gave her my schedule still uneasy at her creepy smile.

"OMG, we have lunch and three periods together!" She squealed.

"Yeah, it's in the schedule."

"Let me walk you to your first hour!" She death gripped my arm and dragged me out of the main office. The hallway was filled with students and teenagers.

"We are going to have totes fun--" She was thankfully cut off by the sound of trumpets. We both stopped walking and the hallways split it the middle and the center of it was clear. Emily dragged me to the left side.

"What in the hell is going on?" I whispered since everyone was simply staring at the end of the hallway.

"*Insert generic and dumb group name here* are walking down the hallway and everyone knows not to get in their way."

"Who are *insert generic and dumb group name here*?"

"*Insert generic and dumb group name here* are the baddest boys in school and also the most handsome." She shushed me because *insert generic and dumb group name here* were getting closer.

When I finally saw them, I noticed that the leader was the guy that was supposed to be my love interest. For some odd reason, my legs tripped over each other and I fell right in front of *insert generic and dumb group name here*.

There's a second part, don't worry. I know it's kinda short, but I wanted to give you at least something cause I haven't for a while. So how'd yah like it? You liked it? Cool. Haha just kidding. Welp have a nice dayyyy.

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