Cheating can range from simply hiding your texts to sleeping with someone else. It was somewhere in June or July approximately. I get a text on my mother's instagram id from his ex-best friend saying that he needs to talk about something related to him and his family. I told him to tell it in text and he said it was really important and it would be better if we met. I told him I'll let him know. That same day I had gone to my grandmother's place and I was on the terrace and I could see his window and I texted him that if he wished to he could come and meet me then, he said that it would be hard for him to come as his friends were there near the ground and he would get caught up. I replied that if it were important to meet and talk we should do it now and also that I won't be able to come anytime after. He cracked a joke then, saying that if he came something would happen between us and that he shouldn't be blamed for it later and I said nothing of that sorts would happen and if he wanted to talk he should just come and talk. He particularly wanted to explain me because I was the only who could explain this to him (the him in the story). So he came up to the terrace, and we talked. That's how I got to know that his family's financial condition was not good and that his mother is worried about me and him. That I should explain it to him to go on a break until his tenth and then if we would still want each other it should continue. I said that I'll do my best to explain it to him. When I was going downstairs with him, I mocked him and said that, "See! Nothing happened." And he was like because I didn't have a chance to and I stood right before him and went now you do, (I didn't think he would do it, I mean why would he?) and it just happened. After, he complained that my lips were so chapped and it wasn't that very good and that didn't help of all the guilt I was feeling and deciding upon whether or not to tell him. I punched the wall in that anger I had upon myself. I was always like this, reckless, tempting others on my will, it was in my hands to not let it happen. I have left out a few details, details which reflect the monster I am. About how he even warned me about how he would feel, but that was only for a second before it happened.
That very day we were roaming down near his tuition so that we could explain it together. But he came in late. That day or the next when we met he showed me a photo of me and his ex-best friend roaming I know when it was taken and by whom because I saw it being taken but I didn't react. I tried to explain him about the break and stuff but he was too angry and hurt on me to listen and said that he didn't require a break.
The other day, before his tuition. We met. I gave him a letter stating all that I had done and in the end of the letter I had written 'when you are done reading this, fold the letter so that I know you have finished reading it. I'll close my eyes and count till 10, and if you love me you'll kiss me and if you don't you'll leave' I closed my eyes and counted till ten. He left. I thought he would come back and kiss me but he didn't. Right there and then I cried. It was the first time he said that he didn't love me.
And it was the first time in my life when I had never felt surer than anything in the world that I loved him with all my body, soul and mind. Kissing his ex-best friend was wrong and I would never, I still don't forgive myself for that. But it gave me clarity that he was the one, the one I wish to kiss my entire life and no one else. He was my forever.
The journey home from that place was the most difficult for me. But as I neared my physical home I made a promise to myself.
I'll fight for him, I am not giving up on us however hard it gets. I am making us happen.
I am all about not giving up dear readers. He was the love of my life, too precious to be lost. He had won my heart like no one else, he was the victor of his victory. And what we had was too precious to lose. It was us till the very end and maybe beyond.
{Preferred Background Music: Infinity-Jaymes Young}