The ringing of my phone brings us back to reality. Time's up. I immediately move away from Veronica, just before the door opens on Cheryl. Our exit is greeted by the applause of the revellers. I look around the room : no trace of my best friend.
"Where is Betty ?", asks Veronica to the audience.
"She ran away without explanations.", announces Cheryl. "Between us, she's a little more twisted than she looks.", she adds, evilly.
I run my hand through my hair, exasperated. Cheryl does really like to screw things up.
"You're a bitch !", exclaims Veronica.
I try to reach Betty by her phone, but unsurprisingly, she turned it off. Veronica decides to call an Uber driver.
"Can I go with you ?", I ask. "We really need to find her.", I say, worried.
"No ! Believe me the last thing Betty wants is to see us together. We messed up..."
**********************************
The clock has just rung past midnight when I pass Pop's front door, hoping that I would find the girl next door... in vain. Instead, I find an old friend of mine : Jughead Jones. It's been a while since we last hung out together. In fact, I think there's been a little tension between us since last summer.
"Hey, Jug. Can I sit ?", I ask, hesitant.
"If you want.", he responds with his usual indifference.
He barely looks at me and continues the contemplation of his laptop.
"What are you working on ?", I question.
"My novel. It's about Jason Blossom."
That's not really unexpected : Jughead has always loved mysteries and writing. However, the evocation of Jason's death repeals me to my torments and insecurities.
"He was only 17, you know... What will we remember about him ? That he was captain of the Water Polo team ?", I say, boldly.
"The king of the swimming pool ? Knowing that he sank, probably not...", he replies, sarcastic.
"I mean... Do you really think that he had the time to enjoy his life ? Did he already know what he wanted to do ?"
Jughead gives me an annoyed look : I surely complicate his task by asking him all these strange questions.
"Coach Clayton was talking with Pop Tate earlier.", he informs me. "I believe you joined his senior team... Who will you become ? The new Stadium God, instead of Jason ?", he continues, with a malicious smile.
"No, not at all...", I say, nodding my head, lost in my thoughts. "In fact, I'm kind of terrified that I lost my best friend tonight.", I confess.
"If you mean Betty, whatever happened, just talk to her.", he advises. "It should work... would have worked with me.", he adds, after a pause.
************************************
On my way home, I pass by the house next door, and realize that Betty must have gone straight home after the party. I hesitate a few seconds before taking my courage in both hands, and I slowly climb the steps that guide me to her. Suddenly, a light comes on, the front door opens, and she appears on the stoop, as in a dream.
She is so beautiful with her pastel dress and her blond wavy hair. But yet, I've never seen her that vulnerable. Despite the darkness of the night, I foresee with clarity the sadness in her gaze. And knowing that i'm the one who put her in this state breaks my heart. When I understand the pain I caused her, I instantly regret this whole stupid evening.
"I'm not gonna ask what you did with Veronica at Cheryl's tonight.", begins Betty, in a trembling voice. "But I'm asking now, right now, if you love me Archie ? Or even... like me ?"
"Of course I love you, Betty !", I immediately answer, heartfelt.
These words come from the depths of my heart. I realize then that this is the first time I have uttered the famous "three words", probably the most important ones of my entire life. They came to me naturally, my voice didn't even tremble. I have never said "I love you" to a girl, not even to Miss Grundy. Miss Grundy... This thought brings me back to the harsh reality.
"But... I can't give you the answer you want.", I say, softly.
"Why ?", she begs, with tears in her eyes.
Her question takes me by surprise. I wanna say that I only love her as a friend, but I realize that would be lying. In reality, our relationship is much more complicated than that, I can't put my feelings for her into words. All I know is that she is far too precious for me to lose her. I contemplate her for a while before saying the first thing that comes to my mind.
"You're so perfect."
So perfect... compared to me. I'm just a lost teenager, who accumulates mistake after mistake : Jason Blossom, Miss Grundy, Veronica... I always take the wrong step. Who would want someone like that ?
"I've never been good enough for you... I'll never be good enough for you."
And that is the entire truth : I've always considered Betty like a sort of inaccessible ideal. A part of me would like to be with her, but the other knows that she deserves so much better.
After my explanations, Betty doesn't answer, she just looks at me with her ocean eyes, crying. Once again, I've failed her, I've broken her. While she walks away from me to return home, I want to hold her back, to take her in my arms, only for a few moments, but I'm afraid I'll make things worse.
I have to pull myself together : my father told me to take responsibility for my choices from now on. I made the right decision: Betty doesn't need to chain herself to me and my problems. My secrets would have been too bad for her.
You made the right choice...
You're not good enough for her...
You only like her as a friend...
The voice in my head continues to resonate, as my gaze follows Betty, until she disappears from my view.
I should feel relieved, not drained. Then why am I paralysed like that ? And what is this crushing pain that weighs at the bottom of my chest ?
And so, it wasn't one heart who broke that night. It was two.