River huffed annoyance as the therapist blabbed. She blinking lazily before stared out the window as light snowflakes fell.
"Charlie says you had another episode last night."
Dream Before
Suddenly a cold wind blew and River was caught in that blizzard. Surprisingly it didn't bother that much her.
She saw the small island with tree. She shook her head in denial. River looked around but saw nothing but the island. She frowned at it and started walking the opposite direction.
Next thing she fell into a large pool of water and she was drowning. Her only hope was the island. She tried to swim to it even though she didn't want to.
Suddenly her fear, doubts pulled her down, drowning her, suffocating her.
In River's Room.
Edward silently hummed and detangled River's hair with his fingers. Suddenly he came to a brute stop when he couldn't feel River's warmth and her breathing stopped.
"River." Edward tilted her head towards him and stared her pale face,"River!" He yelled a little louder.
The room started to shake and it became cold.
Right before Charlie stumbled in Edward was already gone. Charlie walked in to his daughter's sleeping form,"River! River!" He called it.
River remained unbreathing, unmoving until she turned blue and pale. Her hair turned completely white. Then her eyes snapped open, the room stopped shaking.
"River! You scared me."
River frowned at she stared at Charlie and something was missing. Like she left a piece if herself in that water.
"This time it was different."
"How?"
"He was there."
"Who?"
"Logan. He was trying to pull me out and then I heard Edward's voice."
"What did he say?"
"He kept calling my name." River said,"I really don't understand why I'm here anymore cause this is not helping me or my current situation. "
"We're here because your father is worried about you."
"He shouldn't. He should focus on himself."
"Why do you feel that way?"
River rolled her eyes,"this...is getting boring. I'll like to go home now." River got up.
"You may feel like the world is on your shoulders. That you are not allowed to be happy. You believe the world would be a better place if you were gone and you never existed. Thats what your dreams are about. I'm here to tell you, it's not true. You deserve just as much of happiness as the rest of the world."
River huffed again,"you have no idea." She said before she walked out the door.
She saw Charlie, Carlisle and Esme sitting outside the waiting room. They got up as River walked in.
Charlie checked his watch,"what happened. You're thirty minutes early?" He frowned.
"Honey is everything okay?" Esme asked in tender, caring tone.
"No. I'm quitting therapy." River said, leaving no room for an argument. "I'll tell you everything you need to know but I gotta make a phone call." She said before she walked out.
"Get back in there young lady." Charlie ordered.
Carlisle placed his hand on his shoulder,"Charlie. " he warned and shook his head,"let me talk to her." Carlisle walked after her. When caught up to her, he saw her looking up at the skies,"hey." He said to her.
"If you're going convince me to go back there then..."
"I wasn't." Carlisle said,"how about I take you to lunch? Than we can talk."
"Look I get that you're tryna help but you're not." River swallowed hard.
"I just want to have lunch with my daughter. Is that a crime?" He asked with smirk.
"I'm not really hungry. Maybe we can just take a walk."
Carlisle smiled sadly as he nodded.
"Have you decided on school yet?"
"Yeah, Harvard."
"It a great school trust me."
"I know." River said looking straight ahead.
"So you and Logan are a dating?"
"God no." River said chuckling.
Carlisle frowned,"are you two fighting?"
"You can say that."
"What happened?"
"Let's say Logan showed me the other side of him, I didn't know. Now I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing."
"Does it change how you feel about him?"
"Definitely. Maybe all this time it's been an instinct to feel the way I do. And the same goes to him. I think we saw each other's in someone's else's light." River said conflicted.
"He lied. Sometimes I just can't help asking myself. Am I not forgiving him because I want a reason to push him because I'm still in love with Edward. Or I'm stalling so I can make up my mind about two of them." River said.
"Sometimes we know answers but we just choose to ignore them."
"I have feelings for two guys but I know deep I know who I love more. Even after the pain he has put through I still want to be with him."
"I never said that." Carlisle said.
"I don't know anymore. Sometimes I think what I felt about Logan was a different kind of love and not the kind of love I felt for Edward."
"Remember you use to see Edward as your brother."
"Yes but it was different. I always knew he wasn't my biological brother. Edward was person I can depend on, on everything. He understood what I needed and what I wanted. That made me love him even more."
"What about Logan?"
"He's different, sure he makes me laugh, happy. He takes some of the pain away. He protects me but..."
"He's not Edward."
"Edward cheated on me."
"But he never stopped loving you. Edward admitted to that he was only attracted to Bella because of her blood. Once he was over it, he wanted you back. I'm not saying what Edward was right, it's far from it. But not a day passes when I dont see him, longing to be with the one he loves."
"It doesn't matter anymore. Damage has been done. I can't take back the time I've spent crying over him."
"What's really the problem here, River?"
"Its what Thalia said back in camp."
"What did she say?"
"Of course you can. When I thought I've lost everythin. The universe decided to give something back. A part of him. It was my most precious thing I could ever have." Thalia said with a smile,"you too will have something back. And starts with choosing a lover." Thalia said before River passed out. (Chapter "Cold Night".)
"I know where my true happiness lies but I'm afraid it'll be ripped from me again. And I know it will. And Logan will be there to catch me." River said her vote cackling as her tears threatened to fall.
"River." Carlisle placed his hand on River's shoulder,"don't pressure yourself too much. Take your time. Think it through, rethink it. Don't settle for something you're not sure about."
"Why did you turn your back on me when Edward choose Bella? When I needed you and advice the most?" River suddenly asked,"out of everyone besides Rosalie I thought you'll speak for me. You are my dad after all."
"River. You and Edward are both my children, I love you both and I want both of you to be happy. I couldn't choose between you and Edward's side. I wouldn't. So I thought taking a step back and let things play out, it'll will be easier."
River nodded,"I don't even know why I'm asking. I thought I was past this."
"Maybe you still hold some resentment for us."
"Yeah, no doubt about it."
"We're sorry, River. It was never our intention to hurt you."
"I know." "Dad. Do you think Edward is...."
"Sincere about wanting you back?" Carlisle asked.
River nodded,"do you believe he'll forgive me for hurting him?"
Carlisle stopped,"what do you mean?"
"Just asking."
"Yes, sweetheart. If he loves you, he will eventually."
"Thank you."
"Anytime." Carlisle smiled.
"I missed you,"
Carlisle stopped,"I missed you too sweetheart." He opened his arms. He chuckled when River threw herself in his arms like the girl she once was,"I love you."
"Love you too dad." She said,"wait! Is it wrong to call dad. You being uncle and all. Charlie coming into the picture."
Carlisle chuckled,"whatever makes you comfortable."
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I finished this chapter three days ago I was a little hesitant about updating. I feel like it's not good enough. I'm not doing enough but I'm not going to updating as often as I use to for real now🥺😓😢