"tate, why don't you just spend the night at my house? you don't need to deal with your family right now" eric glances at me from the driver's seat. his hair is pushed back into a pony tail, a few strands have fallen out, framing his face.
"would your parents be cool with that?" i ask, biting my lip. i hate always accepting help but my home life isn't exactly ideal.
"yeah, it'll be fine. do you need anything before we head to my house?" he asks, turning on his windshield wiper as the snow picks up.
"nah, i think im good." i respond.
i send rowan a text and tell her that im going to be home tomorrow and im at a friend's house. i know she'll let my dad know in a way that won't make him mad. she's the only one he's calm around.
when we pull into eric's house, i stare in awe at the christmas decorations his family put up. he notices and smirks at me.
"you're so cute," he laughs as he opens the door and hops out. "come on, let's go inside."
his mom greets me warmly when i walk in, excited to see me. "happy birthday, tate! it's so nice to see your face again!"
"thank you, mrs krasny." i blush. "it's nice to see you as well."
"mom, tate's gonna stay here for the night. she has some family stuff going on." eric tells her as he takes my hand to lead me up to his room. if i pulled that shit with my dad, he would probably slap me.
when we get to his room, he sits me down on his bed, still holding my hand, and looks me in the eyes. "i've been meaning to ask you this..."
"what?" i gulp.
"i know i fucked up a lot in the past, and im never going to stop being sorry for that, but i really miss you. i miss you being my girlfriend." his eyes bore into mine. my heart rate quickens and i begin to wonder if he can feel how sweaty my hands are. "will you please give me another chance?"
even if i wanted to tell him no, there was no possible way that i was going to be able to with the way he's looking at me right now.
i feel a smile grow on my face and i shake my head yes. he embraces me in a hug, then pulls away to look at my face. his eyes trail down to my lips and he looks me in the eyes for consent. i lean in and meet his lips. our tongues entangle and he puts his hand on the small of my back, pushing me closer to him. when i break for air, he reaches for my shirt and i let him pull it off. he kisses a trail down to my waist and tugs on my skirt, to which i respond by sliding it off and throwing it onto the floor. my heart pumps faster as i feel him slide off my underwear.
"is this okay?" he asks, looking up at me.
"definitely."
°°°
when i wake up, the smell of eggs is wafting from downstairs. i roll over and groan. my whole body aches from last night. i get up and head to the bathroom to clean up a little bit. when i see myself in the mirror, i audibly gasp. eyeliner is running down my face and my glitter tears have.. well, turned into real tears. didn't think i was a cryer but i guess i have been proven wrong. i grab a piece of toilet paper and wet it, then go to work at scrubbing all the makeup off my face. once im done, i head downstairs towards the food.
"good morning." eric smiles at me from the stove. this is a sight to behold. he really has changed, hasn't he?
"morning." i croak. "you got up pretty early, huh?"
"tate, it's almost noon." he chuckles as he pours me a glass of orange juice and hands me my plate. "i've been waiting for you to get up for a couple hours."
"oops," i laugh. "thanks for breakfast though."
he reaches down to hug me and kisses my cheek. "yep, of course."
butterflies rush up my stomach and i choke on my eggs for a second. real smooth, tate.
"so i was thinking about throwing a house party tonight as like a belated birthday gift." eric says as he sits in the seat in front of me.
"uh, yeah. that actually sounds nice." i respond. i've been needing something like this, especially with all the fucking studying i've been doing.
"alright, cool. so i'll get the word out and uh..." he leans forward. "..don't invite that rodrick guy."
i nod my head, holding back the frown that threatens to creep onto my face. what does he mean? why would he mention that? i blink hard and tell myself that it's probably not that serious. he's probably just being protective. i mean rodrick did do some fuck shit.
"do you need me to take you home so that you can get ready?" he asks as i shovel the food down my throat.
"um, yes please." i smile with a mouthful of eggs.
"alright, finish your food and we can head out." he winks at me.
i look down at what im wearing, as if to remind myself that last night was real. one of his band tees and a pair of boxers. let's hope my dad doesn't ask about this..
i take my last few bites and we head out in his car. he turns up a rap station and sings along to some song about not being able to "make a wife out of a hoe." this is definitely not something i missed. rodrick has better music taste for sure- why am i comparing them? two different people filling two different positions in my life. rodrick is a friend, nothing other than that.
we eventually pull into my house and i notice that rowan's car is gone. thank fucking god. she's probably out doing something with my dad.
i run into my room, hurrying so that eric isn't waiting for too long. i draw eyeliner on quickly and smear vaseline onto my very chapped lips. uhhh what the hell do i wear? i search around my room for some sort of dress and finally land on a black slip dress. i grab a pair of pink fishnets and shove on my platform mary janes, then throw on a thick cardigan so i don't freeze to death. i separate my hair into pigtails, then run out to the kitchen to scribble a note for rowan and my dad.
going to hang out with kat. be home tomorrow. love u :)
-tate
although my dad has a cell, he always prefers me leaving a note to know that i was there i guess. and let's hope they don't call kat's mom because i haven't been friends with her for months...
when i climb back into eric's car, he raises his eyebrows at me, smirking slightly.
"what?" i question.
"you're just hot." he laughs as he pulls out.
i blush and stare out the window, hoping he doesn't notice.
°°°
trigger warning: sexual assault
if you are sensitive to topics like rape or sexual assault, i recommend skipping the second half of this chapter. if you or anyone you know has been a victim of sexual assault, please contact the national sexual assault hotline at 1-800-656-4673 and talk to a trusted adult.
"tate, do you want me to get you a drink?" eric calls over the music as a few more people file in.
"uh, yeah!" i yell back. "just not budlight!"
i fiddle with my thumbs on the couch. i didn't know he was going to invite this many people. i mean, i guess he didn't invite them, but still. this is fucking huge. how the hell does he get this many people to show up within like 8 hours?
i scan around the room, secretly hoping that rodrick shows up. i see a few more of eric's friends standing in the backyard by a karaoke machine. i laugh. did he seriously set that thing up? i watch as people stumble onto the make-shift backyard stage, that i helped him make almost over a year ago might i add, and choose songs to embarrass themselves singing with their friends. when he throws a party, he really goes all out, huh.
eric sits next to me and hands me my drink. he leans forward and whispers into my ear. "are you looking for someone?"
i look him in the eyes and bite my lip. "i just feel bad for rodrick. i mean, i told him i would hang out with him yesterday and i couldn't show. and now i didn't invite him to this party and-"
"tate, stop babbling. im sure he's fine. and besides, it's not your fault that he acted the way he did. you don't have to forgive him or get over it." he assures me, kissing my cheek.
but, i am over it. i forgive him. i want to see him again and eric doesn't seem like he's going to let that happen. i understand where he's coming from but, jesus, he could be a little less of an overkill about it.
"you're right." i lie to him and fake a smile.
"do you wanna come dance?" he takes my hand and leads me to the backyard where everyone is grinding on eachother to a remix of summertime sadness.
i chug my drink and throw it as we start dancing to the beat of the music. i feel his hands run all over my body and i imagine his body belonging to someone else. someone with dark brown, shaggy hair and eyeliner, and a skinny frame with freckles all over... i open my eyes and snap myself out of it. what the fuck am i doing? im with eric. eric is great. i like him.
the music stops and the feedback of a microphone causes everyone to turn to the stage. standing on the stage, clutching a microphone, i kid you not, is rodrick fucking heffley. i snort and eric glares at me.
"what the fuck is he doing here? did you invite him?"
"no? why would i-"
"im getting him off the stage." he shoves past me and i grab onto his arm.
"dude, let him sing a fucking song. who's it going to hurt?" i snap at him.
"okay, okay. sorry. jesus."
the music picks up and rodrick starts uh, singing? i recognize the song, like we used to, one of my favorite songs. but also uncomfortably similar to the predicament him and i are in. he croaks out the lyrics on stage and i want to laugh but my heart has dropped to the floor. i feel tears forming in my eyes as i listen to the lyrics.
if only it were me instead of him
does he watch your favorite movies?
does he hold you when you cry?
does he let you tell him all your favorite parts when you've seen it a million times?
eric stares at me in utter shock. he doesn't look mad, he just looks confused. i break eye contact with him as i listen to rodrick sing the last few lines.
don't throw this all away
can you do all these things?
will you do all these things like we used to?
oh, like we used to
the audience slowly starts clapping, most likely confused too and rodrick exits the stage, holding eye contact with me. i start to walk towards him despite eric calling after me and call for him.
"rodrick!" i yell. "what the hell are you doing?"
why the hell did he have to show up and make me feel all these fucking emotions?
"i can't believe you, tate." he rolls his eyes, walking off the property and into the street.
"what the hell are you talking about?" i scream at him, tears threatening to spill over. "why are you so upset?"
"hm, let me think. you stood me up yesterday, somehow got back with eric when you kept telling me how repulsive he was, and have been continuously ignoring me." he spits back at me.
"rodrick, don't be an ass! why can't you just be happy for me?" i grab his arm, turning him around to face me. "you just miss being my fucking savior! well, im getting better now and i don't need you to save me!"
"oh so you'll have that fucking douchebag do it?" he shoves my hand off of him, glaring at me with such disgust that it makes my stomach churn.
"he's changed!" i defend, then immediately realize how dumb that sounds coming out of my mouth.
"i knew you were a bit naive, but i didn't think you were this fucking stupid. he's using you, tate. do you not hear about the bets that him and his scumbag friends make?" he shakes his head in disgust as my jaw drops. i stare at him in disbelief. "i bet he got you to fuck him last night didn't he?"
the tears spill over and he realizes he hit a nerve.
"oh, so im right?" he laughs coldly. "what happened to you 'not being ready'?"
"i- i-" i look down at the floor in defeat.
"check his phone, tate. read the disgusting things he says about you. then maybe you'll see how he's the exact same fucking person that you broke up with." he snarls, before turning back around and walking down the street.
i stand there, feeling utterly broken. my shoulders slouch in defeat and sobs begin to shake my body. i can't believe i've been such an idiot. of course eric doesn't love me. of course i had to go and ruin the one good thing in my life. how would rodrick ever forgive me after the awful way i've been treating him? i've lost everyone. kat, eric, and now rodrick. what the fuck is wrong with me?
my sadness begins to shift to anger and i walk towards the backyard as fast as i can manage.
"hey, are you good-"
"eric, let me see your fucking phone" i bark at him.
"what-" he furrows his brows.
i snatch his phone out of his pocket and unlock it. fucking idiot, doesn't even put a password on his phone.
"give me that!" he yells at me, but im already reading the messages.
the boys 🤝
jake | did you bone her yet?
kyle | yeah fr it's been long enough
me | last night. i got video proof 😎
jake | told u kyle. now ur $50 in the hole
kyle | fuck u man
"video proof?" i scream at him. "what the fuck is wrong with you?" i run inside with his phone and head to the bathroom with him chasing behind me.
"tate, give me my fucking phone back! it was a joke!"
people stare at us as i slam the bathroom door shut behind me, locking it with shakey hands. i search through his phone for the video. tears fall down my face and my whole body trembles. i stumble upon a file on his phone labeled "virgin babes" and widen my eyes in horror as i find dozens of videos of him hooking up with girls who are either intoxicated or emotionally unstable.
what the fuck do i do? do i delete them? do i keep them for proof? my heart races and i want to crumple up in my bed and cry. i shake my head and tell myself that i need to suck it up. i delete the whole file and drop his phone in the toilet.
i open the bathroom door and shove my way past him.
"you're fucking crazy!" he screams at me as i walk out the front door. i spin on my heels and decide to do something i have always wanted to do.
i use all my weight to punch him in the nose and watch as he stumbles and falls onto the floor.
"go fuck yourself, eric."
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a/n hey besties so sorry ab this chapter LMAOOO i hope there's not too many errors bc i am very intoxicated rn. pls vote and add tell me what u think blah blah blah. love u guyssss 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍