A/N: hello i was listening to this song and it really made me want to write a sad chuuves fic. pls listen to the song so you can feel the pain more 🥲
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The day starts off hazy for Sooyoung. She wakes up feeling the space beside her empty again. The space where Jiwoo, the love of her life, is supposed to be occupying. It's been weeks of this happening. Waking up alone, in their bed, missing the warmth of the other to welcome her into the next day, but the girl just brushes it off making excuses that her girlfriend has just been busy lately. She understands that juggling full time school with 20+ hours a week of work must have been taking all of her partner's time. She understands.
The young woman sits up on the bed, heaves off a really deep sigh, and looked outside the window. The rain is pouring outside. Big droplets are trickling down the window. She felt that the sky is crying. Crying on her behalf. The heavy feeling she has weighing her down for weeks now still has not shown any signs of easing. She feels something is off, but refuses to acknowledge it.
Fifteen minutes passes, Sooyoung still hasn't moved an inch, staring outside, she let her thoughts running amok. Then a ping from her phone placed on the bedside table interrupts her rumination bringing her back to reality. She finally moves and picks up the device and looks at the screen. Her notifications are blown up. Multiple missed calls from her best friend Jinsol, several private messages sent on multiple social media platforms by Jinsol as well, and over 25 text messages, again coming from the same person, Jinsol. Sooyoung rubs her eyes in confusion, trying to see if what she's seeing is in fact real. Her best friend has never been the type to blow up her phone like this trying to contact her, at most the girl would call her 3 times before giving up. Sooyoung's heart sinks, something just didn't feel right, what's so important that Jinsol had to go out of her ways to do this.
Sooyoung immediately calls back the girl, she has no time to read through hundreds of messages the other left her.
"Hello Sol, what's happening? Sorry I just woke up"
"Soo...."
"Jinsol, what is it?"
"....are you doing okay?"
"huh, what do you mean? Yea i'm okay. You're being weird again dude"
"I... I guess you she hasn't come home yet. I-it's Jiwoo"
"What do you mean? Is she okay? What's happening? Is that why she didn't come home last night? Is she hur-"
"Soo, Jiwoo is okay, but I need to talk to you... about her. I'm coming over"
Before Sooyoung could ask anymore questions Jinsol abruptly ends the call. The girl immediately stands up from her position. 'Something is definitely up. And Jiwoo? Jiwoo where are you?' The girl's thoughts taking over her again.
After half an hour of Sooyoung pacing back and forth in her living room, waiting for her best friend to arrive, she hears a light knock at her front door. She's here. Jinsol gives her dear friend a very tight hug as soon as the door opens, her facial expressions full of sorrow. The hug lasts about a minute before Sooyoung finally breaks it and grabs her friend by the shoulder to ask what this is all about. Jinsol steps in the house closing the door behind her and leads the both of them to the living room. She directs Sooyoung to sit on the couch and the girl did as instructed, then sits herself on the wooden coffee table in front of the other. Silence still fills the room, the tension grows, Sooyoung still doesn't know what to make of the whole situation. A moment passes and Jinsol finally speaks.
"Soo, I need you to listen, and listen to me carefully" Jinsol says as softly as she can and puts her hand on top top of Sooyoung's. She squeezes it lightly. Sooyoung just hums in response and nods her head lightly.
"I overheard Chae talking on the phone with Jiwoo late last night. She was angry, yelling at Jiwoo through the phone. I didn't want to eavesdrop further because it's none of my business but then before I left I heard her shout your name. Soo..." Jinsol pauses mid sentence to give another squeeze on her friend's hand, "...Jiwoo is planning on leaving you"
Sooyoung could not believe what she's hearing. She removes Jinsol's hand off of hers and she runs her hands through her hair grabbing a handful and pulling it in the process. Her elbows fall to her knees, she stares at the floor, tears slowly fall on her face. She looks up at Jinsol's face, studying if it shows any signs of deception. Surely her best friend must be mistaken right? This is all a joke. Jiwoo would never do that. They're happy. Nothing's wrong with their relationship.
Sooyoung falls in denial. She could not accept what Jinsol just told her. There was no way Jiwoo is leaving her. She loves her.
Jinsol sees her friend's agony. She very well understands the pain Sooyoung is going through at the moment, being one who was going through the same thing just a few weeks prior. She understands how it feels for your partner, the love of your life, leaving you behind with little to no warning signs. She went through it, still going through it, and now her best friend is about to go through it. Her heart breaks at the thought of it. Sooyoung doesn't deserve this, and neither did she.
"Soo..." Jinsol speaks again. She grabs the other's hands and tilts her head up so she's looking at her, "I am here for you, I know what you're going through, I am here with you." Sooyoung opens her eyes and looks at her friend's eyes. She notices the other's eyes glistening, and from the sound of her voice she's trying her best to stay strong for her and not break apart as well. Sooyoung realizes that everything just said is real, she roars out louder cries not holding anything back anymore. Jinsol embraces her friend letting her sob on her shoulder. She puts one hand on Sooyoung's head and the other on her back, caressing the other's head to calm her down.
"S-she won't d-do that to me Sol. She can't, she l-loves me..." Sooyoung finally speaks in between her cries, stuttering at almost every word. "...s-she loves me r-right?"
"Soo, I can't tell you that, you have to ask her for that. I'm really sorry Soo, but I am here for you" Jinsol answers truthfully. She tightens her hug further and just let her friend cry it out in silence. There's not much she can do but give her friend comfort and company at this time, so that's what she does. In silence they embrace for what felt like hours. Then the silence breaks when the front the door opens and shows Jiwoo entering the apartment.
Jiwoo quietly stands and stares by the doorway, not quite sure what she came home to yet. But after a couple of minutes of processing the sight in her living room, she comes to a conclusion. Sooyoung knows. Jinsol lets go of Sooyoung and glares at the girl who stands frozen at the front door. She stands up and leans towards Sooyoung, "Soo, i'll be outside in my car. Call me if you need anything. I'll wait for you as long as you need me to, okay?" she whispers. Sooyoung nods and gives Jinsol a small smile. Jinsol gives her one last hug and a kiss on the forehead before walking out of the apartment, but not without giving Jiwoo a burning gaze and intentionally bumping into her as she steps out. Before she closes the door, she looks back at Jiwoo, who is looking at the ground avoiding eye contact. She speaks once more, quietly enough that Sooyoung won't hear it from the living room, "Sooyoung doesn't deserve this and you know it. I wish you ended it when Jungeun did to me, at least you would've saved Soo weeks of worrying and pain. I hope you guys are happy" then she slams the door behind her.
Jiwoo feels the guilt overtake her. Jinsol is right, Sooyoung doesn't deserve this.
———————
It's been 5 minutes since Jinsol left. No one dared to say a word. Jiwoo now sits on the other side of the couch, leaving a huge space between her and her girlfriend. Jiwoo breathes in deep and lets out a big sigh before finally deciding to speak.
"Baby, i'm so sorry. I don't know what Jinsol has told you, but i'm so sorry" Jiwoo speaks with a light feathery voice trying to ease the tension in the air. Sooyoung stays quiet. "I... I didn't mean to. It's not you, I just need some time—" Jiwoo stops her sentence as she hears Sooyoung let out a soft chuckle.
"You're so cliche Wooming. It's not you, it's me," Sooyoung says in a mocking tone.
"It's really not! I swear Sooyoungie. Me, it's me that's lacking! I'm- i'm really sorry" Jiwoo defends herself. The latter closes her eyes and furrows her brows. She thinks back on when, when did it all start. When did she actively start ignoring the signs of the impeding end of their relationship. She thinks back.
"Unnie... how are you and Chuu unnie?" Chaewon suddenly asks Sooyoung. They had just finished dinner at Jinsol's place with a couple of other friends and both were washing the dishes separated from the rest who were in the living room.
"Hmm, we're.... good. Why do you ask?" Sooyoung answers. The pause between her words made the other question the truthfulness of her answer.
"Are you sure? Has she not been acting distant lately?" Chaewon pushes further. Sooyoung stayed quiet. "I'm sorry I know it's not my place. I won't push any more, just remember Jinsol unnie and I are here for you, okay?" The shorter girl continues.
Sooyoung left with her thoughts, she wondered if Chaewon knows something she doesn't. Are they really okay? Is their relationship really okay?
As the pair finished washing the dishes, Sooyoung hugs her friend and whispers, "I'm okay Chae, thank you for worrying about me." She broke the hug a moment later and gave her friend a forced smile. Chaewon not wanting to push her boundaries, she let her unnie be, hoping that she is telling the truth and that everything is okay. She watches the older girl walk towards her girlfriend in the living room, smile at her girlfriend and give her a kiss. What Sooyoung doesn't see is Jiwoo has changed, she doesn't give the Sooyoung the same loving smile and endearing looks anymore, but Chaewon does. She glares at Jiwoo from the kitchen. As if the other felt her gaze, she looked at her as well but immediately looking away as soon as she sees the disillusion behind her eyes. 'Jiwoo unnie, what are you doing...' Chaewon thought to herself.
"I knew all along," Sooyoung finally breaks the silence. Her girlfriend looks at her in confusion. "I knew all along that you were falling out of love from me. I knew for awhile now" The girl continues. Jiwoo just gulps, having a hard time processing what her partner is saying.
"b-but how? W-when?" Jiwoo stutters, still avoiding looking at her girlfriend.
"I ignored it. I denied it. I took all the crumbs of affection you fed me and exaggerated it in my head just to justify that you still loved me and that nothing has changed, that we're still the same..." Sooyoung says, now looking at her girlfriend head on. Her tears now stopped, just letting the pain brew in her chest.
Jiwoo's tears flow on her cheeks and looks at Sooyoung's direction at last. The tears blurring her sight but still clearly seeing Sooyoung's piercing gaze. "Soo-" She starts but soon gets cut off by her girlfriend moving closer to her and placing a hand on her cheeks, wiping off tears with her thumbs.
"No, Jiwoo, no more excuses, please..." Sooyoung's voice breaking. "Let me just end it, I'm so tired.... Let's break up"
Jiwoo's eyes widen. Not knowing what to say, she just stares at her girlfriend's face. Sooyoung is wearing a forced smile, her eyes full of pain and sorrow, tears once again threatening to fall. It breaks Jiwoo's heart seeing Sooyoung like that. She is filled with more guilt, and now anger at herself. How could she hurt someone who's never done anything wrong to her, only cared for her, loved her deeply. She knows the answer but would never admit it to herself.
They stay in the same position in silence for a few more minutes. Jiwoo dared not to speak. She doesn't have the right. Sooyoung just admiring and studying the love of her life's face one last time. Absorbing every detail of her face, her thin bangs that that rests perfectly just below her eyebrows, her big doe brown eyes that are like caramel, her stares were always(used to) so sweet, her cheeks that are small and soft and perfectly fit Sooyoung's hands, and her lips that always tastes like peaches, it became her favourite delicacy. Admiring the last moments when she'll be able to look at all of that up close again. Sooyoung wears a genuine smile for the first time as she's finally done, settled the storm inside her, accepted their fate. Sooyoung moves closer to Jiwoo's face connecting their lips for the last time.
"I love you, Jiwoo" Sooyoung stands up, "Good Bye"
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A/N:
welp, would you look at that, I love pain ha ha. also when i read chuuves au it's always yves that leaves chuu, i wanted to switch it up >:)
If u like angsty stuff, I have a lipsoul oneshot too that's sad so check it out! (self promo no shame)
as always, thank you for reading :)
may i offer you Choerry 🍒 mirror selfie?