It has been a few days after Newt has told you about his past. At first you were worried it might change things between the two of you, but to your pleasant surprise it actually strengthened the bond of you. You felt more close to Newt than ever and were grateful for his trust in you, it motivated you even more to be the best version of yourself. The thought that people trusted you, relied on you and made you feel at home gave you a huge confidence-boost. Not only Newt, but also Hank, Leo and especially Minho gave you a feeling of safety and affiliation.
But not only your "human-friends" made your time in the Glade as wonderful as even possible, Peony also did her part. Since you've named the little lamb you felt somehow connected to her, as if it was your responsibility to care for her, what you enjoyed doing! Watching her grow and boss the other sheep and goats around gave you something to look forward to. Watching her grow up gave you some sense of time and it reminded you that things are changing, even if sometimes the world seems to stand still.
Speaking of Peony, right now you were combing her soft, white locks with a rather old wooden hairbrush, but it still was good enough to remove knots. While you cared for her fur the little lamb laid in your lap while your legs remained crossed, both of you sat under a big oak tree on the dry grass. Moments like this were peaceful as if there was no need to worry for anything in the world, you felt the wind on your skin and smelled Frypans cooking in the distance. Dinner was about to be served and Clint allowed you to finish at work a little bit earlier, so you decided to wait for Minho to come back from the maze and to pass time until then, caring for Peony.
It kind of became a ritual that you'd wait for Minho to come back, you didn't even go to dinner until he was back. Maybe it was just the fear that something bad might happen again like the last time, where both Minho and you nearly got trapped in the maze, or maybe it was the fact that you were pretty excited each time you got to see him... either way, both you and Minho seemed to quite like this little tradition or ritual.
Suddenly Peony jumped up and ran back to the herd as you were about to untangle another knot. For a second you were afraid you might have hurt her, but as you saw a shadow approaching on your right side, it was pretty obvious that the lamb got scared by the person walking towards you. You turned your head to see the person who was coming, you were expecting Newt, but to your surprise the face of Leo greeted you. A little bit of dirt covered the bridge of his nose, which caused his eyes to appear even greener than they already were.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't want to scare the lamb" Leo apologized and seemed contrite or nervous? You couldn't really tell. "It's okay, don't worry! I was about to finish combing her anyway... her name is Peony" you said and introduced Peony, Leo answered with a acknowledging nod. While still looking up to Leo who kept his gaze on Peony, "have a seat" you continued and patted the space beside you. Leo slowly sat down, but still didn't dare to look into your eyes. You were well aware that Leo was shy, but he never avoided your eyes. Quite the reverse! Sometimes you had the feeling he especially searched for your eyes or always tried to catch a glimpse of you.
"I knew you would be here" Leo started, picked a blade of grass and started to play with it with his dirt covered fingers. It was clear to see that he had just finished the work in the gardens, he even still smelled like fresh dirt. A second later Leo's eyes grew wide and it seemed like he realized something, "I mean, you're here often, it's not like I'm a stalker or something like that!" Leo quickly added and you slightly chuckled, right now he reminded you of a confused professor.
"Don't worry Leo. I know you too well to know that you wouldn't do something like that" you assured him, but Leo kept his gaze still on the blade of grass between his fingers and just whispered a small "Yeah...". Somehow Leo seemed to be a little bit odd and it made the situation a bit uncomfortable, so you thought of something to cheer him up or at least lighten the situation. "Leo" you said his name and finally he looked up to you, "May I?" you asked and carefully brushed the dirt off his nose with your fingers.
Leo stood completely still and his cheeks turned into a bright red, you even felt the warmth on your fingertips. Finally! You weren't the only one who had problems with blushing. As you were about to take your hand back down, Leo grabbed it and held it to his face which caused you to give him a confused look and you felt a "Huh?" escape your lips. Leo gulped and looked straight into your eyes. Until now you hadn't even realized how close your faces were: You could feel Leo's hot breath on your collarbone, by now you were pretty sure your cheeks had also turned into a bright red.
Leo gulped once again, "Y/n..." he started and you realized what Leo was most likely to tell you, so your eyes grew a little bit wider and your mouth grew drier. You weren't ready, you didn't even know what to say. You wished you could just stand up and walk away, but you didn't want to be rude, especially towards Leo - he always was so kind and ensured that everyone was alright, including you. You didn't want to hurt his feelings and wished that he would just say something like ' Frypan sended me to tell you that dinner's ready' but your common sense told you otherwise.
Leo caught his breath, "Y/n..." he started again, "I don't know how to tell you this and I don't even know what's going on with me, like, I've never experienced something like this, but I care for you - a lot. A lot more than I care for Gally, Winston, Newt, Dave or any other boy in the Glade. It's different with you. Like, I like you... a lot" Leo confessed his feelings towards you and you were speechless. You felt how your lips parted and just looked into Leo's eyes as if you were hypnotised, you didn't know how to feel.
You were certain that you held no romantic feelings towards Leo. Right now you just didn't know if you should feel honored, afraid, sad, superior or happy. You knew how you felt about Leo, but you didn't know how you felt about the situation and the probably most important thing was: You didn't know what to say. You stared into the green orbs of Leo like you were some kind of statue. You wanted to run away so badly and never talk to Leo again until you had the right answer, but in moments like this there is no right answer. You didn't want to hurt his feelings, but you needed to tell him the truth, that was the least you could offer him.
"I'm sorry" Leo apologized and let his head fall, which caused you to snap out of your trance. "No, don't be sorry Leo!" you reassured him, but Leo turned his head to look straight ahead and with that away from you, "I shouldn't have told you" Leo said repentant, "I'm sorry" Leo apologized once again and it broke your heart that you didn't know what to say, "Please don't be sorry Leo and please don't regret telling me. It's very brave of you to confess your feelings, I just... don't feel the same way, I'm sorry. You're wonderful and-"
"Don't say that" Leo interrupted you and you nodded, he was right telling him what 'a great guy' he was and how 'he'll find someone better' only made it worse and the last part also seemed ironic in Leo's situation. So instead of saying more and probably making it worse, you also let your head fall and both you and Leo kept quiet for some time. You heard the sheeps and cows and the wind whistling between the blades of grass. "Will this change our friendship?" Leo asked and tossed the blade of grass away he was playing with all the time. You were sure that it wouldn't change your feelings or thoughts towards Leo, you liked him. He was a beautiful human being and always kindhearted - how could you push someone like this away?
"As long as it doesn't change things for you, no" you said and Leo nodded, "That's fine with me" he said and you smiled. You were afraid Leo didn't want to be friends with you anymore after he had confessed to you, so you felt even more relieved that this wasn't the case. "Can I, like... can I hug you?" Leo asked and you laughed warmly, "Of course!" you said and Leo hugged you, maybe a little bit tighter than normal friends would do, but that was fine with you, as long as things were clear and you wouldn't lose him.
You were facilitated. You wouldn't lose Leo and both of you two were certain about each other's feelings. Of course some things change after someone confesses, either in a good or 'bad' way, but both parties have clarity and as long as both sides want to continue a friendship it is possible. Leo's feelings also might change towards you after you've told him how you felt and some time has passed. You just were happy that you didn't lose a friend and Leo would stay in your life. You needed his calm and friendly soul in your life, just rather as a friend than a lover.
You knew how both of you felt, but someone who was watching from afar didn't. For someone who watched the whole scene from high above from the watchtower, it might seem as you and Leo both liked each other. If somebody would watch this scene, they might be happy that two friends eventually might start catching feelings for each other, but if this somebody also might have taken a liking to you, this scene may be heartbreaking or cause jealousy to flare up inside the chest. Jealousy is one of the strongest emotions and also may be one of the most unbearable.
Newt sat on top of the watchtower and chewed on the inside of his cheek. He didn't want to watch this scene, but like a car accident, you don't want to look but at the same time you're not able to look away. Preferably Newt wanted to stand up, run towards the two of you, take you by your hand and walk away with you. Newt has known what Leo felt towards you, Leo had never told him, but it was obvious by the way he had looked at you and always made sure you're okay before he even asked about the others.
But more importantly Newt was afraid that you might also start catching feelings for Leo. It might sound egoistic, but Newt had always hoped you would like him. He always hoped he was the one you would turn to when you were down and he actually thought he was this kind of 'hero'. He actually thought that it was him you'd see when you fall asleep. He would even go as far as to say that he was certain you'd like him, at least more than Leo.
He would tell Leo that you were off limits, but how are you supposed to decide over someone else's feelings? You didn't even know he was watching the whole conversation, which hurt Newt even more. He somehow wished that you'd do things like that with him, but he needed to accept that he wasn't your focus in the Glade and the other boys also played a part in your life, apparently a bigger role than he played. He just wanted to be your hero, someone you could turn to and someone who would protect you. He didn't want you to fall for another boy.
Of course Newt wanted you to have as many friends as possible, but even though it sounds selfish, he wanted to have a special place in your heart, he wanted you to fall for him and he wanted Leo to never approach you again. But it wasn't for Newt to decide who you talk to or what you feel towards other Gladers, he needed to adjust himself and maybe his feelings. Yet he still held this hope, that you eventually fall in love with him, but until now he never thought about the fact, that the other Gladers also could think about the way he did.
He wished that it was him you'd see when you fall asleep, because he knew that it was you he dreamed about every night and gave him this feeling like love in the summer, something he never experienced. He wanted you to tell him that he wasn't dreaming alone.
After Newt's train of thoughts he noticed that Leo was gone and the doors of the Glade were about to close. Just in time Minho and Ben entered the Glade, to Newt's frustration he also saw you running in Minho's arms and greeting him after he entered the Glade. He could imagine how Minho called you 'Angel' and asked about your day and it made him sick. He didn't want to feel this way, this jealousy, especially not towards Minho as he was one of his closest friends - but just as we can't decide or control over the feelings of others, we're sometimes also not able to control our own. It seemed like Newt also needed a 'thoughts and feelings cabinet' ...maybe even more than you?
As you were running towards Minho you didn't even notice Newt still looking at you from the watchtower. You ran into his arms, he took you into his tight embrace which allowed you to smell his cologne. "How was your day, Angel?" Minho asked as you both partened and you bit your lip - should you really tell Minho that Leo confessed to you? You felt the need to tell someone, but on the other hand you didn't want to spread such personal things about Leo, "It was alright, nothing too special I guess" you said with a big smile to cover your real thoughts, "What does that mean?" Minho asked and raised an eyebrow, "Nothing, nothing... nevermind, anyway how was your day?" you shook your hands to show that it didn't matter, "Well, now that you're here with me a lot better." Minho said, put his arm around your shoulder, which caused your heart to skip a beat and both of you walked towards the kitchen to grab dinner.
𝑫𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒆 𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒆𝒚𝒆𝒔
𝑰𝒔 𝒊𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒔𝒍𝒆𝒆𝒑?
'𝑪𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝑰 𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕
𝑮𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒂 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒓
𝑨 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝑰'𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒆𝒍𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓
𝑫𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒆 𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒆𝒚𝒆𝒔
𝑰𝒔 𝒊𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒆𝒆?
𝑻𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒆 𝑰'𝒎 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒆
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