"Lucas," said Logan. "So, you've seen Grandma's house before?"
Lucas nodded. "I come here with Grandma sometimes."
Everyone—Hugo, Hana, Lucas, and Mrs. Hart— had been gathered by Logan about an hour ago to meet up at Mrs. Hart's house for one purpose: to confirm that Lucas really did know his mother. In the living room, Lucas and Hana sat on one sofa; Hugo sat in another; Mrs. Hart sat in another; and Logan stood to stay calm. This was much more disappointing and hurtful than when he had found out that his friends had known about Hana and Lucas four years ago because he didn't think his mom would somehow have contact with Hana and Lucas, and she didn't bother to tell him when he had told her countless times about the woman he loved and was trying to find.
"Sorry, Logan," said Mrs. Hart for the countless time.
Hana quickly added, "Logan, it's not—"
"Yeah, I know," he said. "It's no one's but yours."
"Logan," said Hugo, implying that what his brother had said wasn't right. "It's not her fault either. It's mine."
Logan glared at him. "This isn't new, Hugo. Hana—she—"
"Lucas, can you go play in the other room?" Hana purposely butted in and handed her son her cell phone. "I'll get you when we're done."
The little boy worriedly glanced back and forth between his grandmother and Logan. He knew and could tell that the adults had a serious discussion to discuss, so he obeyed his mother and went into a separate room.
"You have no plans to tell him anything?" Logan asked Hana.
She didn't answer. As far as she knew, Lucas wasn't the problem he wanted to address.
"Fine, we can leave him for another time."
Everyone waited for him to ask the question.
"Since when have you've been in contact?" He finally asked his mother.
Mrs. Hart momentarily looked at Hana for affirmation before answering. "Just a few weeks after they had moved out of the city."
Logan had expected the answer to be similar to his friends, such as knowledge of their return four years ago, so he was taken aback that his mother had been on the scene from the start. But why?
"Logan," Mrs. Hart said. She had to set things straight. "It's not what you think. Hugo or Hana-san didn't tell me about it. I had found out during the time he came back and forth between the moving, so I urged him to tell me about what was going on, especially..." Her face and voice lowered. "...especially since after what had happened..."
Logan's expression softened.
Everyone in the room knew what incident Mrs. Hart had referred to, but they kept quiet about it. It was too much of a painful and shameful part of the past to touch.
"Since Hana-san would be a single mother and be all by herself in a city that's new to her," continued Mrs. Hart, "she needed all the help she could get, and I wanted to make up for what had happened, and I also wanted to see the grandson you had cared so much for." Her mouth trembled, and her voice shook. "We didn't mean any harm in keeping our contact and relationship from you. We-we did what we had to." She mustered courage and calmly looked at her son. "It's what a Mom does."
*
It was only Hana who got sent home by Logan because Lucas had asked to sleep over at his grandma's place for the night, and despite what had happened, Hana couldn't find the energy to reject Logan's offer to take her home.
"Thanks," she said as she stepped out of his car.
Both friends had been quiet and didn't look at each other during the ride.
He also stepped out of the car to follow her, and she didn't bother to stop him.
She casually unlocked the door to her place but didn't enter. She knew that a step behind her stood her friend. Without turning around, she said, "You can go home."
He didn't respond.
She disregarded him and took a step inside, and he halted her by the wrist.
"I can't find a reason to hate you. And I hate that."
She slowly turned her head around to look at him.
"With each secret I come across," he blinked to hold back his emotions, "it tears me that you'd do that to me. But even knowing that, I can't hate you." His hands tightened around her wrist. "And I want to hate you."
Her tears blurred her vision as she became overwhelmed with her suppressed emotions.
"I want to hate you every time I think of that day. You didn't even look back at me, not once. You didn't even come to look for me, not once. And you didn't even—"
She lunged her body onto him to embrace him. "I'm sorry, Logan." She sniffled in between apologies as her tears got brushed away by his chest. "I hate myself for what I did—I really do." She held back her tears so she could speak much calmer. "But I want you to know that there wasn't a day I didn't miss, want, or think of you." She squeezed him tighter. "Just like your six years of darkness, I also had mine."
He gradually distanced himself from her, and her heart beat like crazy. What if this was the last chance he'd give her? What if this was why he could hate her? She wouldn't be able to live life knowing that she was hated by the one man she had regarded as her best friend, her best man. She didn't need six years to determine what he was to her, but the six years did determine how long she would last without him. And for eternity? She'd rather die than live and have him hate her forever.
She froze in despair as she silently waited for the assumed thought to happen.
His cold hand at her cheek pulled her in close to his face, and with an expression that showed otherwise, she was relieved as he whispered to her, "I love you, so only you can hurt me." He pressed his cold lips onto hers.
At first, a sound of shock escaped from her, and she tried to back away, but when her body was covered with the warmth of his broader built, she gave up.
As they passionately indulged in the kiss, they walked inside the house as he simultaneously closed and locked the door behind him as his other hand kept a firm grip at her waist. He pulled away from the kiss and looked at her. Huffing, he asked, "Can I stay the night?"
With no need to think, she gave him a much better response: a kiss.
*
Hana woke up from the stale surrounding and found herself cuddled by the broad-shouldered Logan. She, not finding any comfort, slowly wriggled her body out of his arms. At the same time, she wondered why couples like to cuddle to sleep. The only reason why they had ended up cuddling was that...they had a passionate make-out session from the living room to the bedroom.
When she recalled how they had ended up on the same bed and were sleeping together, her face turned hot and she pulled the blanket halfway over her head as if someone would see her cherry-colored face in the middle of the dark. But what got her most was that she had continued the kiss after he had pulled away. She had never thought she'd be that kind of person—to be the first to initiate something so...suggestive. She blamed him for turning her into this kind of shameful person.
But then again, he was the only one who had the power to make her discover new sides of herself. Back then, it was his words that had given her courage and power to continue each day as she babysat her nieces and nephews. He had even given her the strength and the support to become a virtual mother to Lucas. And he had become the sole dedication and reason as to why she became a single mother.
He had always been the basis of her everything.
And for that, she could never come to hate him.
Because she loved him.
And because she loved him, she had to choose Lucas.
*
Hours later, Hana woke up to the noises from her kitchen. She saw the closed blinds, giving her room a bit of a gray touch everywhere. The smell of food then occupied her mind, and she got up to head out of her room in a daze. However, seeing that she was in her white, spaghetti-strapped tank top and her zipper of her jeans had become undone—due to yesterday—she blushed and frantically searched for a cardigan in her closet before heading out.
When she reached the kitchen, she saw her friend patiently set up the table with plates filled with delicious-looking foods. She covered her mouth to hide her happiness as she stayed at the side to watch him.
He caught sight of her as he carried two cups of water. "Morning, beautiful."
She greeted back with a shy smirk, trying to stay as composed as ever. She pulled the chair closest to her and sat. "Has your cooking gotten better?"
"Hey," he said, coming to stand beside her.
She looked up at him in response and received a peck at the lips. She pulled away, frowning. "What are you doing?"
"What are you doing?" He pointed to her, raising a brow. "You know better than to eat before brushing up."
"Eh?" She had seen this before. More like she had done this before. To him.
"Come on," he said, pulling her up. "Let's go wash up."
"I can brush up after I eat," she whined, determined to not get up from her seat at all. "Please?" She rested her upper body on the table to show her exhaustion.
He squatted down to her eye level and sulked as he tapped on her arm. "Oi, we didn't get to do it yesterday, so why are you pretending to be tired?"
She cleared her throat and sat up straight. "I'm—I'm going to wash up now." She lightly shoved him out of her way and left him in a rush to hide her embarrassment. She knew that he was smirking in victory from behind her, and it annoyed her.
Upon reaching the bathroom sink, she turned on the faucet, splashed the lukewarm water on her face, dried her face with a pink washcloth hung nearby, and then reached for her toothbrush. When she looked up at the mirror in front of her, she flinched at the sight of her friend staring at her from the side. "What?"
"Nothing," he answered. He raised his brows at her to tell her to ignore him and continue.
She did so. She dotted her toothbrush with a pea-sized toothpaste and started brushing her teeth. From the mirror, she watched him walk to stand behind her, and she tried her best to not lock eyes with him.
"So, when can we do it?"
In response to his absurd question, she almost choked on the foam, and because of this, she had to cut brushing her teeth short as she rinsed her mouth.
He didn't bother to help her at all. In fact, he kept his calm. He finally had a reaction when she turned to face him with disgust.
She scoffed. "What did you say?"
"When can we do it?" He repeated. Blankly.
"Are you stupid?" She sensed her cheeks getting hot.
"You're the stupid one." He casually wrapped his arms around her waist and took a step forward to close the distance. "You stopped me again, and although I didn't fall asleep like last time, you suggested for us to go to sleep." He clicked his tongue and quietly murmured, "We got further this time since your shirt and pants were undone."
"O-of course!" She weakly pushed him away. "Sleeping was the right thing to do."
One of his arms removed itself from her waist to pinch her chin to raise it to face him.
She locked eyes with him, but his beautiful pupils disappear from her sight as he leaned in for a kiss. The hand that gently held her chin slowly slid down to the side of her neck and then to her nape as he pulled her close. Although she responded for a while, as he had expected, she broke off their kiss again.
With only a few centimeters between their noses, and his hands still at her neck and waist, he sensually whispered to her, "This is right for me too. Isn't it for you?"
She bit her lower lip to stop herself from being honest. "It's not."