♥betty♥
My leg bounces at a mile a minute as we make our way to Pop's, anxious as to what Jughead is about to tell me. I love him with everything in me, and I pray that whatever he has to say won't make that difficult.
"Hey," he says, putting a hand on my thigh to steady it, "I promise Betts, it's okay. Everything's okay."
I gulp. I didn't believe him. Gangs don't hunt you down unless something is very wrong. I put my hand over his, gripping it tightly. I'm sure he can feel the moisture seeping through my palms from my nerves. The short drive to Pop's felt ages long.
We pull up, parking at the far right of the lot, distanced from the rest of the cars who are at Pop's for a nice meal - it's only 8pm, we're in public, we're safe.
He inhales deeply, pulling off his seatbelt and turning towards me. "How are you feeling?"
I pop off my seatbelt as well, pulling my legs onto the chair and facing him. "It doesn't matter how I feel, Jug, please just tell me what's going on."
"Before I do, I'm not saying this for pity, or out of insecurity or anything like that, but, I completely understand when you decide you can't be with me after I tell you this. Trust me Betty, I won't resent you, I won't be upset, I understand, okay? So don't feel guilty for however you need to react. You know the most important thing to me is making sure you're happy, comfortable and safe."
"Jug, I won't-"
"You don't know that." he stops me. "You can't say that, you don't know what I've done." he says, rubbing his eyes harshly, clearly in distress.
"I love you, Jug. No matter what happens, I do. You know that, right?"
He smiles, a sense of sadness behind his eyes. "Of course, Juliet." He leans in, kissing my cheek gently.
"Okay, so.." he starts before the air around us drifts into silence for a few moments.
"So?" I question - I didn't mean to be pushy or bothersome, but I was too anxious to wait this long.
He inhales again, "I killed somebody."
My breath catches in my lungs - I never expected this of all things. "You- You what?" I don't mean to be afraid, I could never be afraid of Jughead. He wasn't that person. There must be a reason, a real reason behind this.
"I killed someone. Me and Toni, we killed somebody."
I impulsively pull my hand away, putting my face in my hands to hide the tears that fight to spew. Tell me this is all a lie, that we can go back to being the same old Betty and Jughead - regardless of if that was far from normal, this is too far.
"Who, Jug? Why? What happened, please explain this to me you can't just stop there, speak." I yell, the tears now breaking through the walls I tried to put up, my lips and body quivering.
"I'm sorry, I-" he starts, he looked numb.
"Don't apologize," I say, my heart can't help but hurt as I see him stare blankly at his lap, as if he was playing whatever happened in his head, "Hey," I say, gripping his face and staring him in the eyes, "I'm sorry for screaming, I know there's an explanation, please Juggie, tell me."
"I didn't want to Betty." he says, his eyes welling up as he stares at me, his eyes feel like they're begging for some type of help, for some escape from the past.
"I know you didn't." I say, caressing his cheek with my thumb.
"Before we met, my dad was in jail for running a drug ring. Not surprising, but he made a lot of enemies. People who he owed money to, people who he didn't get drugs they paid for, you know, the lot. Majority of them were also in gangs, and so everyone had connections in jail."
"Mhm," I say - I don't know where this is going.
"Well, the leader of the Ghoulies, Malachi said a bunch of the Ghoulies found this to be the perfect chance for revenge. I didn't really understand how that'd work, I thought the jail was guarded enough, but I was shown otherwise when I got a call from the police that my dad was beat up in the jail. Like, beat up bad, Betts, he could barely open his eyes or walk. They threatened me that if I didn't get them all the money that my dad owed within a week, he'd end up far worse, if you know what I mean."
I'm starting to understand, but where does the murder come into play?
"I didn't know where the fuck I was supposed to get that much money. It was a lot Betty, like way too much for a 16 year old to make in a week, not even by selling drugs. So I told Toni and a couple of the guys. We didn't have a way, even if we are worked together. I couldn't tell the whole gang either, that'd compromise my father's safety if the Ghoulies found out I was snitching."
I nod, showing him I'm listening but unable to say anything.
"So.. Sweet Pea came up with a plan. We'd take one of their vital members, Kurtz, hostage and make a deal that if my dad was safe, Kurtz would be too, but the money had to be off the table. That was our only solution, well, that's what it felt like in our naive minds. So we did that, Malachi agreed and my dad was safe."
"Okay, and then what?"
" We kept Kurtz safe, fed him, we weren't torturing him or anything. But then, things went south after like a few weeks of us thinking it was okay. My dad was almost killed in the jail. Malachi persisted that he didn't care what happened to Kurtz, he wanted his money. I didn't know what to do. Then one night, Toni and I were on Kurtz watch, it was late. We knocked out, and I woke up to Kurtz pointing a gun straight against Toni's forehead. She was shaking, crying, sitting still and tapping me to get me to wake up. I didn't know what else to do Betty."
I reached for his hand over the console, gripping it tightly in comfort.
"So I tried to compromise. I kept telling him we'd let him go, that he could go back to the Ghoulies and we'd find a way to get the money, that he just needed to tell Malachi to give us more time. He wouldn't agree, he said that because of us, he lost his family since Malachi and the Ghoulies didn't care enough about him to agree to the deal. And so, in return, I had to feel his pain by losing Toni. The rest of it happened in the blink of an eye. Toni kicked him, he fell over in pain, I grabbed the gun quickly and pulled Toni behind me and pointed the gun at him. Out of nowhere he jumped back up and came at me with a knife and I closed my eyes and pulled the trigger. Next thing I knew he was on the floor, bleeding so fast from his head I-I didn't have time to stop it and take him to the hospital, I couldn't help him."
I breathe heavily, not knowing what to say.
"I killed him Betty, I didn't mean to, I promise I didn't mean to do it. But I couldn't lose Toni, she's like my sister. I couldn't lose my dad either." he says frantically, hoping to get a word out of me.
"I know you're scared of me, but I'd never hurt you Betts. Never."
I shake my head. I furrow my brows, "I'm not afraid Jughead." I could never be.
"You're not?"
"No." I reply, still processing what had been told to me. "So then?"
"So then we threw the body into a swamp past Greendale. That was that and the Ghoulies found out and took it as a message. They were scared, they didn't think we'd ever take it that far, they thought we were bluffing and they would eventually get Kurtz back. Hell, neither did we, it was all an accident, but it worked in my favour. They stopped attacking my dad and let go of the money."
"And now that your dad is out they want revenge."
He nods, "Yup. Justice for Kurtz, and the money."
"Well, you aren't the leader now, shouldn't your dad be dealing with this?"
"I killed him. My dad owes the money. Not looking good for the Jones', " he chuckles.
I look at him sternly, not the time for jokes.
I wasn't afraid of him. I wasn't angry or upset with what he did. It was self defence, and against someone horrible. It was to save his dad and Toni.
"So, what can I do?"
His eyes widen, his jaw dropping slack. "W-What? What do you mean?"
"How can I help?" I say, perky as a peach with a look of question.
"What are you talking about, Betty?"
"Exactly what it sounds like. I admit, *killing somebody,*" I say in a whisper," is never a solution but you did it to save yourself and Toni. And that whole situation was to save your dad. I believe you, I know you didn't mean to hurt anyone. So now, I'm asking you, how can I keep you safe?"
He looks stunned. "Are you serious? You don't hate me?"
I smile, "I told you, Jug, I could never hate you. I love you, I still do. This isn't exactly... ideal if you will, but I would have done the same thing for my loved ones."
It's true. Gang or not, if I or the people important to me are in danger, I'd do whatever it takes to keep them safe.
He lets out a heavy breath I didn't know he was holding, leaning over to bring me into a hug.
"I love you, so much. God, I thought I lost you."
I shake my head as it rests against him, "Never."
He lays quick kisses on my cheek, up to my forehead before moving back to look at me.
"You don't need to do anything. All you have to do is promise me you'll be safe, that you won't try to be get involved. I could never forgive myself if my past put you in harms way."
"Jug.. you know I can't just sit back and watch you in danger."
"I know you can't but you have to. I'm not kidding, Betts."
I sigh, "Okay. I won't get involved. But you have to promise me you'll be safe too. That this will all go away without you, your dad, or Toni getting hurt."
"Toni too, huh?" he smirks.
I smack his arm lightly, "Oh shush. I see how much she means to you, so she's important to me too."
He smiles brightly, the silence filling the air before he says, "She's gay, you know."
My eyebrows shoot up, "Oh! Oh god, I'm so embarrassing. I'm so sorry, Jesus. All that drama for nothing."
He laughs, a sound that makes my heart fill with love. "Don't worry, it happens. But trust me, she's in the clear."
"Tell her I'm sorry, fuck, you didn't think to tell me this earlier?" I say with a slight giggle.
He laughs again, shrugging before cupping my face and kissing me. "But, yes, I promise. Nobody's gonna get hurt."