^^ mikio when Shiro doesn't give him his 37th crouton
AIGHT
'TIS I, JUMPY.
AND THIS CHAPTER IS A SPECIAL ONE WRITTEN FOR EID AT 3 AM THAT I DECIDED TO POST LATER
ITS WRITTEN IN FIRST PERSON PRESENT TENSE
FROM THE POV OF A VERY SPECIAL DUCK
(of course, I gotta give him coherent thoughts for it to be a valid chapter )
so I was talking with my homie darkcoffeeandoreos and I got struck with lightning- whaT IF MIKIO HAD HIS OWN CHAPTER
Okay, that was cool
and then i got hit with lightning again
SO FOR THE REST OF THIS CHAPTER, PLEASE JUST IMAGINE SAMUEL L JACKSON'S VOICE AS MIKIO
I DIEDDDDDD
on that note, since Mikio is internally Nick fury, brace yourselves for the language <3
also, anything between these '____' in italics is Mikio quacking/talking. Ofc the boys dont understand mikio's speech cause they hear it as duck language.
this is a bullshit chapter so if you dont wanna read then fine by moi
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Well.
Dad's a goddamned idiot. Sure, he's the fucker that feeds me, and I fuckin' love him, but he's a numbskull shit-for-brains idiot.
Does he really not see that blue-eyed brat giving him literal heart eyes from across the giant court?
I quack. If I could roll my duck eyes, I could.
But I can't.
Pity.
The blue eyed giant walks over to me, each of his steps thundering. I ruffle up my feathers, itching a spot just under my miniature wings, just as a giant cage of fingers pick me up.
"Hey there, Mikio." His voice rumbles loudly. I quack in response, pressing my bill against his pinky, before nibbling gently at it.
It still ain't a worm. I spit it out, poking at it.
Kageyama's got sparkles around his eyes. He seems to be happy I ain't bitin' him outright. He whispers sweet nothings down at me, as if expecting me to say something back.
I quack once.
That should be good enough for him.
It is. He smiles.
So easy to please these two-legged giants.
Well, even I can tell he's gonna be my second dad, so might as well stay on his good side.
His palm is soft and warm enough for my fuzzy ass, so I let him carry me across the court faster than I could. He coos down at me, and I fight the urge to roll my eyes again.
Wait, I can't roll my eyes. Never mind.
He sets me down outside in the grass, grabbing the duffel bag from the side of the door and taking out the tiny green Tupperware box.
FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD-
He chuckles as I start flapping up and quacking. He thinks I'm excited.
Nah, boi, I'm impatient. Gimme my food.
Quickly, before Dad sees and takes it away from him cause he fed me ten minutes ago.
Yet, I'm still fucking hungry.
I quack. ' HURRY UP, DUMBASS, HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE YA TO OPEN A FUCKIN TUPPERWARE-'
But Kageyama does not understand duck and laughs at me. I fluff up in pure murderous rage.
"Whatcha doing, Tobio?"
What the shit, Kags.
"Feeding Mi-"
"Oh come on, Mikio!" Dad snatches the crouton tupperware away from Kageyama. He leans down over to me. "I fed you 10 minutes ago."
'YOU CALLING ME FAT?!-'
I screech, flopping backwards on my ass as my wings flap uselessly in my rage.
I choose VIOLENCE.
I pick up an old nail in my bill, ignoring the nasty taste, and brandish it like it's a sword.
'Now.' I quack. 'Give me my motherfuckin croutons.'
Kageyama nervously chuckles. "Shiro? I, uh, think he wants to stab you."
You right as hell.
Dad rolls his eyes, reaches over, and yanks the nail out of my bill. "You're gonna get sick if you keep eating random things."
How DARE you question my immune system-
"Cmon, Shiro, one crouton won't hurt, right?" Kageyama said, and Dad huffs, tossing the nail towards the trash bin.
"...."
You best say yes, bitch.
"Fine. One crouton. Make sure to soak it in water a bit so it's easier for him to eat." Dad opens the tupperware and hands Kageyama a small crouton, and the blue-eyed setter looks to be on cloud nine.
I fight the urge to gag as Kags gives my dad heart eyes as he heads back to practice. I waddle up to him.
'Just fuck already. Hot damn, you ain't foolin anyone.'
Kageyama hears my quacks, and giggles. "Okay, okay, I'll get your food."
'That isn't what I was saying, dumdum.'
He soaks the crouton and gently places it on the other end of the concrete. "Go on."
'Fine. I needed the damn exercise anyways'.
I waddle over to the crouton, finally satiated, and plop down, nibbling at it. It was a really small one, so I had to eat it as slow as possible.
Kags crouches down and watches me eat like an excited 5 year old watching an ant. He ignores the carrot-top's screeching for a setter, and giggles again as I bite off a corner.
"You're so cute, yes you are-"
Damn right I am, Kags.
I quack once in his direction, before turning back to my crouton, finding myself face to face with a huge, furry creature.
What did Dad call it?
A Squirtle?
"Ooh, look Mikio! It's a squirrel! He wants to say hi!" Kageyama scooted closer, eyes wide and sparkling as the rat-like, fluffy-tailed creature inched closer to me, his beady eyes glittering in the sun.
Squirrel.
I quacked once at it, a warning. 'Get any closer to my crouton and I'll kick your pathetic little ass.'
It growled, then chittered, hideous buck teeth baring as it raced forward.
Oh hell nah.
Fluffing up, I let out a battle cry, screeching as it launched itself at my crouton and I launched myself at it.
"WAIT, MIKIO, NO!"
Screaming ( or quacking), I attack with all my supernatural strength,, my eighteen-pack duckling-abs flexing sexily as the brawl began. Kageyama panicked and raced inside, but I didn't care.
'I'LL KICK YOUR PATHETIC FURRY ASS!'
The squirrel chitters in anger and swipes at me with his paws, but I dig my little claws into his leg and bite his ears, twisting on top of it. The crouton lies untouched on the cement, feathers and fur flying everywhere.
'THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAA-'
"Shiro! Help! Mikio's getting eaten alive!"
"WHAT?"
I bite over and over, smacking its eyes with my wings over and over as the ugly thing tries to wrestle me off.
'YOU REGRETTIN' IT NOW, YOU UGLY ASS RAT MOTHAFUCKER? YOU AIN'T NEVER GOIN NEAR MY FOOD AGAIN-'
I bite its ear, relishing in the taste of blood as the squirrel screeches. I dig my claws into his back, smacking the squirrel over and over until the thundering noise of running footsteps fills the air, and I'm forcefully yanked away by a huge, familiar hand.
"Oh my god, M-Mikio! Did you k-kill it?! What the hell is wrong w-with you?!" Dad screams, panickedly prodding at the limp squirrel with his finger. "You f-fought a squirrel?! That t-thing's t-ten times your size!"
I quacked. 'Yeah, Dad. I fought it, and I won. Now, gimme croutons."
I proudly puff out my chest, squirrel blood staining my feathers. I bet I looked like someone dipped me in a bucket of red paint.
The squirrel- now with bald patches, a ripped ear and a swollen face- stirred slightly, and Dad scooped it up with his free hand and dumped it into Kageyama's palms.
"D-Dump w-water on the squirrel, it'll w-wake up. B-Be gentle, g-get Shoyo to h-help you." Dad instructed and Kageyama nodded, gingerly taking the little whiny, whimpering bitch to get its much-needed bath. He called for Uncle Shoyo angrily, and the orange boy yelped and popped up next to him.
Dad flicks me irritatedly, checking me for injuries.
" You're g-grounded. For a week."
I quack in outrage. 'That furry little shit tried to kill me! And you're punishing the victim?!'
"I know damn well y-you charged at it first." Dad glowers down at me, walking inside the gym and grabbing his duffel bag.
"Now, we're going home early, cause you n-need a bath. You're covered in b-blood."
'Yeah, the blood of my enemies. Literally.'
Grampa Daichi, who's leaning against the door, notices Dad leaving. "Hey, what's going on? You and Kageyama were pretty spacey today-"
He looks down into Dad's hand and sees me, chest puffed out, eyes glittering with homicidal rage, all yellow and brown feathers stained with red.
"Oh my God, Mikio! Are you okay?" Grampa Daichi asks worriedly, leaning over to inspect me.
Dad rolls his eyes. "He's f-fine, the squirrel he f-fought isn't. I'm going to have to t-trim his nails a-again. S-Shoyo and T-Tobio are r-reviving the s-squirrel."
"Should we go help them?"
"U-Uhm, I t-think t-those two s-shouldn't be l-left alone with a l-living being..."
Grampa Daichi agrees. "Oi! Tsukishima!"
"Hm?" He grumbles across the gym.
"Go make sure Hinata and Kageyama don't fight. Also, don't be a dick."
"No promises." Uncle Salty-I mean Uncle Tsukki- gets up from lying on the gym floor, and trudges outside, in search for the two first years. I quack at him.
Dad waves goodbye to the rest of the team, and heads out the gym. I amusedly listen as Dad rants to himself, walking to the train station.
"L-Last w-week you tried to f-fight the radiator in our flat. The w-week before you went John Wick on my p-pencil case. The week before t-that you shat on a pigeon."
'Pigeons are the lowliest.'
"Don't be rude, M-Mikio, that p-poor pigeon didn't deserve your nasty shit all over it."
'I beg to differ.'
"And e-everyone, everyone , thinks that you're some a-adorable, innocent little d-duckling-like no! Y-You're n-not! Y-You a-almost killed a s-squirrel today! And god knows what you're quacking all the time!"
' Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy.'
"Watch your attitude."
Dad glares down at me again as we hop onto an empty train car, and I nuzzle his finger in response. All that fighting got me sleepy.
"Everyone t-thinks you're t-the c-cutest thing in the w-world, b-but all you do is eat, s-shit, and sleep." Dad grumbles.
'And I fight things.'
"A-And you fight things." Dad adds.
His blue eyes flicker down at me, watching as I curl up into a fuzzy, blood-covered ball.
"Hmph. I guess you are pretty cute. Even w-while covered in the blood of a c-creature you just m-mutilated."
'Damn right I am.'
"D-Don't you d-dare fall asleep. Y-You got a b-bath ahead of you."
'Meanie.'
"W-Watch it, or I'll g-give y-your u-ungrateful ass a dunk in ice-water."
'Double meanie!'
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In summary, let's make a few things canon.
-mikio is a masterclass duck-language cusser
-mikio is a little shithead
-mikio watched vines with kageyama as a bonding experience and now he continuously gives Shiro sass
-mikio fights everything that pisses him off in the slightest
-mikio is a yellow duck pompom of r a g e
-mikio's got everybody fooled 'cept for his dad Shiro who knows that mikio's innocence is a load of steaming hot bs
-mikio has fought a radiator, and a tower fan, and ceiling fan, and a pillow case, and a pigeon and a frothing chihuahua, and has won every time.
-mikio would literally die for his croutons
(that squirrel could've literally killed him. he's a duckling. DUCKLING. THE SIZE OF A SMALL APPLE. NOT EVEN AN ADULT DUCK; MIKIO, TF IS WRONG WITH YOU-)
-mikio otherwise is a very affectionate boi
-mikio likes cuddles
-mikio knows kags wants to do the, uh, dance with no pants with shiro ( LMAO IM CACKLIN)
-correction to the last one... mikio knows kags is gonna be his other dad
- mikio's grandpa is daichi, great grandpa is coach ukai, and the team are his 'uncles' and kags is just kags cause he know damn well that kags is thirstin' for shiro's cake
( LMAO IM SORRY IM SORRY I'LL STOP)
-mikio will probably use his newly unlocked squirrel-killer mode on Oikawa, and Jumpy (yours truly) will not stop him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
Idk what this was. But it was fun to write in a dazed state at 3 am.
It's a crappy chap again, ignore it lol, tbh it's kinda gorey cause mikio went completely spartan on the squirrel.
i regret my writing skills, but I do not regret this idea.
fight me on that :D
stay tuned,
-Jumpy