HERO
I hear the water running from my en suite. She must be done. Jesus Christ, I've never been this nervous in my entire life. In a matter of minutes, we'll find out if Jo's treatment has worked or whether she has to subject herself to that again. Honestly, if that's the outcome I have no idea what I'll do. Of course, I'll be there at the side of her - that goes without saying - but I don't know if I could see her do all that again to potentially result in heartbreak. My heart would break along with hers.
When Jo comes out of the bathroom, she looks terrified. She places the two tests face down on the bedside table before joining me, cross-legged in front of me on the bed.
"How long do you have to wait?" I don't know if I can hack this, I feel completely sick like the pastries I've eaten could come up at any moment.
"We have to wait for three minutes," Jo's voice wavers, she sounds exactly the same as me. Our anxiety kept us up for the majority of the night, but spending the night in my bed with Jo was easily one of the best nights I've had. We didn't even do anything, I just held her hand, simply because I needed someone to hold mine. Selfish I know, but it's the truth.
"Are you okay?" she's holding up so well, I'm so fucking proud of her. She just nods yes as her reply. The silence around us is broken when we start to hear a beeping noise, both our attentions turning swiftly to the bedside table. It's time.
Jo slides off the bed effortlessly and reaches over to grab one of the tests, I can't see which one but the beeping ceases. I follow exactly what she's doing until she's back in front of me with the test in her hand.
"Ready?" I don't know if I'm asking myself or Jo this question. She slowly turns the test over in her hands for her to see the result. I see her eyes scan the test, as she takes in the results. I can't wait any longer, her eyes are glistening with unshed tears. I need to know.
"What is it? One or two, Jo?" she lifts her eyes to me, tears ready to fall. The test is turned in her hands and I see the two very distinct lines present on the test. Fuck, it worked!
"Jo..." I take the test from her hand and look at the two lines that have determined both mine and Jo's future. I look back to her, then to the test again. I'm amazed. In awe of the woman in front of me.
"You're pregnant," my voice is no higher than a whisper, I'm overwhelmed, happy, no, ecstatic about this. I can't help my actions as I drop the test between us onto the bed, place my hands on either side of Jo's face and bring our lips together. I can sense her surprise but she doesn't pull away. I slowly feel her purse her lips, returning my kiss as her hands place themselves over mine gently, holding me to her. I don't push it or deepen our kiss, but Christ her lips are so soft and full. I could stay here all day. I pull away from her slowly, unsure how to gauge her reaction. I've just kissed my best friend who's found out she's pregnant with my baby only a minute before. Her eyes meet mine, but her fingers lace themselves with mine tightly as I bring them down from her cheeks.
"We're having a baby, Hero," the tears start to fall onto her cheeks. With my free hand, using the pad of my thumb, I wipe away the tears away for her. Even when she's crying, she's beautiful.
"I'm so fucking happy," I really am, I don't know how I'm containing all the excitement inside me. Jo surprises me and climbs into my lap sideways, her legs hanging over the side of the bed. Her arms wrap themselves around my neck and we just sit there, me holding who I can now call the Mother of my child.
"Thank you, Hero," she whispers, still trying to get her crying under control. I tighten my hold on her, letting her know I'm here for her, all the way.
"Thank you for choosing me, Jo."
***
After our moment together, we double-checked the digital test which did in fact state Jo was pregnant, alongside the other. She insisted on keeping both of these as mementoes so we could remember finding out. Personally, I don't need the tests, the look on her face and the feeling of her lips against mine is more than enough. I'll remember that feeling for as long as I live. After we've placed the tests back on the bedside cabinet, Jo remembers that she needs to call the clinic to let them know the news. I have all the confirmation I need though, as does Jo from what I can see.
When she calls, they request to see Jo today. Apparently, it's too early for an ultrasound to show anything substantial, so they'll just need some bloodwork from Jo which they'll use to confirm that the IVF has worked. When she gets off the phone, she doesn't even seem scared or worried about the bloodwork that needs to be done. I think the adrenaline and the happiness coursing through both of us is enough to get us through anything at the minute - that's certainly how I feel anyway. The both of us take showers in my en suite and get ourselves ready for going to the clinic for what may be the last time. A slight sense of sadness courses through me, we have so much to thank Dr. Chambers for. I have a debt to him which I'll probably never repay, but thanking him will have to do.
When Jo and I get to the clinic an hour and half later, the familiar warm feeling washes over both me and Jo, putting us right at ease. The receptionist clearly knew to look out for us as we're welcomed, congratulated and ushered into a side room all within the space of a few minutes of our arrival. We're told Dr. Chambers will be with us shortly to take Jo's blood to confirm the home pregnancy test results. Considering Jo's done two and they've both come back as strong positives, I'm not worried and from the happy expression on Jo's face, I don't think she is either. She sits in the larger chair and turns her arm out ready for when the bloods are needed to be taken.
"Only a few weeks ago you were petrified of blood tests, Jo," she's come so far in such a short space of time. She smiles at me, recalling the blood tests she first needed after seeing her doctor. As she's recalling the memories Dr. Chambers walks in with a big smile on his face.
"Well congratulations, you two. Let's get these blood tests done so we can start with the hand over to our midwives," Jo and I nod in unison. I move closer, putting my hand in hers as Dr. Chambers prepares the vial for the collection. Jo looks the opposite way as the needle enters her vein, her hold on my hand getting tighter as the blood leaves her body. I notice Dr. Chambers looks at our hands clasped together, a slight smile crossing his face before it's back to being professional. Jo remains turned away until a cotton pad is placed over her wound, sealed with two strips of tape on either side.
"All done, I'll go and test these now and come back once they're done. You can both relax in here," Dr. Chambers gets up and leaves the room swiftly, closing the door behind him.
Up until now, I haven't really thought about my actions before. I mean, I kissed Jo and she kissed me back. That's gotta mean something, right? It wasn't just any kiss either, I felt something and I'm sure as Hell she did too. But what if she didn't? What if she just did it because my lips were already on hers? I've kissed her before, on the temple and on the top of her head, but up until this morning, our lips had never touched. We've always been careful to never cross the line between friendship and relationship, during our teen years it was so difficult for me. My hormones raging with Jo around me, developing and becoming more beautiful as the months passed. Why the fuck I didn't ask her out then is beyond me, so we stuck with friends but I always felt something whenever she got the attention of other guys. It wasn't annoyance, I could never put my finger on it.
"You okay, Hero?" She breaks my thought train by bringing me back into the room.
"Yeah sorry, just thinking,"
"What about?" She's inquisitive today. I decide to be honest with her, she needs to know.
"Erm, well... our kiss," as soon as the words leave my lips, a deep red flush creeps up Jo's cheeks, I can feel the heat from here as they flare. Her eyes leave mine and look away. I don't know how to respond, does she not want to talk about it?
"We shouldn't..."
"No, you're right. We shouldn't have. I shouldn't have, Jo. I'm sorry that I did that. It won't happen again," I feel like shit, I practically forced myself on Jo, but is it bad I don't regret kissing her?
"Hero, it's fine I -," she's cut off by Dr. Chambers opening the door and walking back into the room with a chart in his hand, a smile on his face.
"Well, Josephine I'm pleased to say that your home tests are correct and that you are indeed pregnant. Congratulations. I've sent the good news to your GP and our midwifery team who will be in touch with you in the next coming weeks to book your first appointment. Do either of you have any questions before I let you go?" both me and Jo shake our heads no, looking at one another briefly. Dr. Chambers nods and shakes both of our hands, Jo and I thanking him before he leaves.
"What were you going to say? Before he walked in," a light pink blush creeps up her cheeks and she turns her head away before bringing our gazes back together.
"I was going to say. We shouldn't worry about that. Kissing me, it's fine, Hero" well fuck me sideways. What does that mean?
*5 Weeks Later*
It's been five weeks since we found out Jo is pregnant. Just thinking about that thought never fails to bring a smile to my face. In just under nine months time, we'll have either a mini Jo or mini Hero arrive into our lives. I've never been so excited in all my life.
While we were having our Chinese on Tuesday night, Jo received a call from one of the midwifery team asking when she was free for her first appointment. She booked herself in for Friday evening, so after we finished eating I arranged to stay over on the night so I can stay with her and be present for the appointment. Whether I'll be sharing a bed, or be on the couch I have no idea but I'll be near her which at the minute is all I crave.
I've taken it upon myself to do some research during some of my free periods about this first midwife appointment, and as I predicted it seems to be quite intense. Elif and Felix walked past as I was looking on the NHS website about what to expect from a first midwife appointment which led me to tell them about Jo and her treatment... And how I'm going to be a dad in less than a year.
"Holy shit, FT. Congrats, dude! I always knew you and Jo would... you know," he winks at me as Elif takes me into a hug. I widen my eyes, seriously.
"Thanks man, but there's no me and Jo." is it wrong I sound sad at that factual statement? Well, there's no 'me and Jo' as far as I'm aware. Nothing has happened since we kissed and held hands. It's just been back to business with the two of us, like nothing has changed, almost like the night before the tests and the kiss didn't happen. Does she want to forget them? She told me it was fine that I'd kissed her, but really was it? I'm so fucking confused. Both of them leave me to it and I continue researching. Regardless of what Jo wants, whether that's for me to kiss her again or to just be her best friend, I'll be there for her and our baby.
After teaching my final class at 4pm, I close my laptop down, gather the papers that I need to mark over the weekend and pack my things up so I can head to Jo's. I'm not sure what the deal is with food tonight, she hasn't mentioned anything to me so I drop her a text to see if there's anything on the menu or if I should bring something.
Hey, what are we doing for dinner tonight? Do you want me to pick us something up on my way?
When I hit send, there are already three bubbles on my screen, showing me Jo was already typing something to me. The bubbles disappear for a second, then reappear. She doesn't keep me waiting long before her reply appears to me.
Jo: Hey, I was just messaging you the same thing. I was going to suggest this really cool Vietnamese place I found on JustEat. I've never ordered from there before but the menu looks good.
I reply to her straight away.
Yeah let's try there. I'm on my way to yours now, I won't be long.
Jo: See you shortly.
I put my phone in my back pocket and head towards the Tube entrance, eager to beat the rush. While the train takes me to Jo's I try and work out what the hell is going on between the two of us, apart from having a baby together that is. That's set in stone and happening. The 'us' part of this situation though is confusing me completely. I have no idea what Jo thinks about this either, but it's not really the type of conversation to instigate when she's having her first midwife appointment. She's never pulled away from me once, whether it was the kiss or us holding hands... and she said she was fine with it. But what does that mean?!
I'm lucky that the voice announcements on the Tube broke me out of my pondering, otherwise, I would have missed the stop for Jo's. I hop off the train, head out of the Tube station and walk to Jo's quickly, the sky turning grey and the humidity in the air increasing, signalling the impending rainstorm we're going to get. I start to feel some spots of rain from the sky, just as I walk into Jo's building. When I reach her flor and get to the front door, I knock and she opens it soon after. Jo smiles at me widely and opens the door, welcoming me in.
"Hey, you could have just let yourself in," she says, closing the door. It's such a force of habit to knock. Since we found out she was pregnant, I told her I'd be coming round more often to make sure she was alright and she's given me a key to keep. Still, I haven't used it.
"Sorry, force of habit. How are you feeling?" she nods and shrugs her shoulders.
"Yeah I'm good. I was sick again though this morning. That's the fifth time this week, so I think it's safe to say I have morning sickness, but I'm okay," she says, reassuring me by taking my hand and giving it a quick squeeze. Before she gets away from me, I take her into my arms, thinking now that I'm not just hugging Jo, but hugging our baby too.
"As long as you're alright," she looks up to me through her long lashes, a smile still on her face.
"We're fine, Hero," she says, confidently. I love how she says we're as it's not just her now I have to look out for. I look to her full lips, her tongue darts out, wetting them, making them look juicier than they already did. I quickly scan her eyes, wanting to give her just a peck, but before I can do anything another knock on the door ruins my plans. I want to use the term cockblock, but I think I'm the one blocking him at the minute.
Jo opens the door and I see a middle-aged woman in a blue nurse uniform on the other side of the threshold.
"Josephine?" she asks, Jo nods and welcomes her in, showing her to the living area so she can set her equipment - whatever it might be - up.
"Would you like a drink?" Jo asks, the midwife requests a tea, so I tell Jo I'll make it for her and I'll make myself and her one too. She just needs to focus on this as it's going to be quite a hefty, informational appointment. This is all about her and our baby.
"This is a lovely home you both have,"
"Oh, this is just my home. Hero's my best friend and my IVF donor. He lives in Mayfair," I turn around at the mention of my name and smile, noting what they're talking about. Indirectly, she's just found out our living information - that's one thing off the checklist I suppose.
I take their teas over first, putting them on the side tables and take mine over last, taking my spot at the side of Jo. The midwife is still getting everything out of her bag, so I put my cup of tea down at the side of Jo's and take her hand in mine, unsure whether I'm really doing it to help her through this or help myself.
"Okay, so my name is Louise, and I'll be your midwife for your pregnancy."
"Well, you know I'm Josephine, but please, call me Jo. This is Hero," I make a wave with my hand. Louise nods and smiles as I wave at her.
"So, from my information, you're 7 weeks pregnant. As this is your first pregnancy, I'll take you through everything nice and slowly as it can be a bit information overload." the both of us nod, readying ourselves for the information.
Jo and I explain Jo's situation of infertility and how we've gotten to this point. Both of us reiterate that we don't live together and that where we currently are is Jo's apartment and I own my penthouse in Mayfair. I notice the slight eyebrow raise from Louise when I mention this. I'll admit, it's not every day that you hear of someone under the age of 30 who owns a penthouse in Mayfair. I just hope Dad is proud of what I did with the money. During this explanation, Jo tells Louise that I'm the baby's father and her best and longest friend. I smile at this point, but the uncertainty in Jo's voice makes me wonder if she's just as confused as me at the shift in our relationship.
We go through other information including smoking - which I have to admit that I've done - alcohol and drug use, our mental health and finally our jobs. Jo goes into detail about the events management company that she works for, how she has an office-based job and isn't required to go to any of the events, she's more behind the scenes. I then tell Louise how I work at the University and am a teacher in the English department. For my job, there's not much more to explain, really. The word 'teacher' kinda covers it all. One thing that does surprise me that I didn't see listed was Louise asking us about our families.
"I'm just curious, your Australian accent and all. Are your family over here?"
"No, they're in Perth. I'm here on my own, but I have Hero and all of his family. His sister, Mercy, his Mum, Martha and his brother, Titan," Louise nods taking notes as Jo is explaining. I can't help the smile that creeps across my face as she says she has my family here for her. I don't think she'll ever realise just how much my family adore her.
"Alright. I have all the information I need. Now, I'm going to need to do some tests, but nothing too invasive. We'll start with your height and weight," Jo releases my hand - which I didn't even realise I still had hold of - and stands, going to a flat wall so Louise can measure her. Once Louise has scribbled down Jo's height, she then lays the scales down for her and does the same with her weight as she stands on them, waiting for the okay to hop off. Now she has that, she comes back over to me, followed by Louise. Jo takes hold of my hand again and places it in her lap, squeezing it reassuringly. Right now I feel a bit like a spare part, I can't help her in any of this, it's all her. Her holding my hand makes me feel slightly better, I'll buy her the Vietnamese dinner she wants - hopefully, that'll make it up to her.
"Last one, I promise is your blood pressure. We already screened your blood from your last test for HIV, syphilis and Hepatitis B. From what you've told me, I don't think you're at risk for sickle cell and thalassaemia, so no need for another test, in my eyes," Jo nods along with her, a relieved smile covering her face when she's informed that she doesn't need another blood test. I think she's been prodded and poked enough for now.
After she takes Jo's blood pressure and noted it down, Louise joins us again on the couch at the other end, placing her hands in her lap. She then starts to explain to Jo and I how the baby will develop throughout the pregnancy, going into detail about milestones such the baby's heartbeat - which has already started apparently - when the baby will grow fingers and toes, their eyes opening and when Jo will start to feel the baby's movement.
"I'm really excited about that," she says, looking down at her currently flat stomach. I have to admit, I'm excited about feeling the baby kick, letting us know they're there. We're told about the foods Jo can and can't eat, exercises that Jo can do, antenatal classes and lastly Jo's options on where she wants to give birth. She looks to me, smiling.
"Where were you born?" I think back to my Mum giving me and my siblings in-depth recounts of us being born and luckily for Jo she also mentioned the hospital too.
"Chelsea and Westminster Hospital, why?"
"Could I give birth there?" Jo asks, turning back to Louise. A warm, fuzzy feeling makes itself known in the pit of my stomach. I'm genuinely touched Jo wants to have our baby in the hospital I was born in.
"I don't see that being a problem, I'll register your services there. While I'm here I can book you your first ultrasound, how does the 30th of October sound? You'll be 12 weeks exactly according to your charts,"
"That's perfect. What appointments do you have?" Jo asks, sounding all excited. It all feels very real now. The midwife being here, Jo choosing the hospital and setting up her first ultrasound.
"Oh wow, we're quite full that day. Can you do 5:50pm? It's our last appointment," Jo turns her head to look at me, silently checking if that's okay. We can go for dinner after it, perhaps? I nod and so does Jo - does this mean she wants me there with her for that?
"We'll take that then," she says to Louise, sounding excited. I squeeze her hand, hopefully reiterating just how happy I am to be with her during this.
About fifteen minutes later after a few more things about what to expect, Louise starts to pack up her things and says Jo is her final appointment for the day so it's hometime for her. I wonder how many patients she has and how many of them have the same predicament as us, not so many I can imagine.
"Okay, Jo, Hero, I'll be in touch for your next appointment. See you both soon," Jo shows Louise out and places the maternity notes file she needs to keep all the way through her pregnancy by her cooking books.
"Shall we order dinner?" I ask, loading up the JustEat app on my phone as she's closing the door over. Jo walks over to the sink and pours herself a glass of water, downing it in one as she nods yes, answering my question with a full mouth.
"Yes, we're starving," everything now is we're and not I'm which I absolutely love. Already our baby is a part of everything.
***
I've never had Vietnamese food, but good God, I'm glad Jo suggested it as a change. It was amazing, so refreshing and fresh. I think we'll definitely be having it again. Jo ordered sweet and sour chicken with rice, I had stir-fried beef in lemongrass with chilli and rice. It was an absolute taste sensation, both of us were stuffed to the brim when we finished, the portions were more than generous.
"I'm so full and tired after that," she says, lying back onto the couch. The remnants of our takeaway are sprawled on the coffee table in front of us. I feel exactly the same, so much so, I flop to the side of Jo, my head resting just where her belly is, on a pillow. I could stay here all night, this is surprisingly comfortable. As I lie there, listening to the show on TV I feel Jo's fingers slide themselves into my hair, combing their way through effortlessly. I really need a haircut. This feels so calming and relaxing, it's making me feel sleepier than I already do.
"Do you want me to fall asleep?" I ask with an intake of breath. Jo giggles, but continues running her fingers through my longer than usual locks.
"I like your hair like this. I think you should keep it," I usually have a completely different hairstyle but with everything that's been going on, the barbers is the last place I've thought of going to. It's much longer than I'd usually have it, but I suppose I could try to keep it like this.
"You think?"
"Yeah, we do," she says, sighing sleepily. I close my eyes and enjoy Jo's nails softly scraping against my hair and scalp.
It's dark, the only light in the room is coming from the TV. What's left of our takeaway is still on the coffee table. Shit, we must have fallen asleep. I was so relaxed while Jo's fingers were gliding themselves through my hair, I must have drifted off. I think all the food sent Jo into a food coma as she's flat out at the side of me. I really don't want to disturb her, but I don't want her sleeping on the couch in her clothes. Gently, I shake Jo's arm saying her name just above a whisper to wake her. Her eyes blink themselves into focus and she looks at me confused but soon realises that we fell asleep on the couch.
"Shit, I'm sorry, I fell asleep," I smile then a yawn escapes from me.
"It's okay, I've just woken up too," I put my hands out to help her sit up, as soon as she's up she replicates the yawn I've just done and puts her hands above her head, stretching.
"You get yourself off to bed, I'll sort the couch out," she looks at me, her eyes tired and nods, blinking slowly. As Jo stands, I remain sat down, but she turns back to me and smiles sweetly before leaning down and placing a soft kiss on my cheek.
"Good night, Hero," I don't know what to do. Jo just kissed me of her own accord. Okay, it was only on the cheek, but I feel like I could melt into a puddle of mush.
"G-goodnight, Jo," she turns and heads into her room, closing the door behind her.
I feel completely weightless I'm that happy. I stand quickly and strip down to my boxers, leaving my clothes in a pile on the floor, I just want to lie back and basque in the relaxing sounds of the heavy rainfall outside whilst I hold onto the feeling of just being kissed on the cheek. Fuck, I sound like I'm ten years old. I'm getting giddy from a kiss on the cheek. I can hear Jo pottering about in her bedroom before she finally gets in bed, just as she does a loud crash of rumbling thunder hits outside. A few more tolls of thunder rumble above us as the rain continues to fall heavily outside. I get up and head to the kitchen, wanting a glass of water. Just as I get the glass from the cupboard, I hear a door open very slowly from behind me.
"Hero?" Jo's soft voice calls. I turn my head around and watch her come out of her room in just a Rolling Stones nightshirt with her hair piled into a messy bun. The dark shirt comes down to just above her knee. She looks... hot. I watch her as she slowly walks over to me, she looks tired but agitated at the same time with her hands folded across her chest.
"What's up?" I ask quietly. She doesn't answer me, she just takes my hand in hers and starts to walk back to her bedroom. Wait, I thought I was sleeping on the couch? I don't fight her, I just follow in her steps. Just before we go into her room, she breaks her silence.
"Come to bed with me?" she's so quiet and sounds, nervous - I think. I don't say anything other than an 'uh huh', unable to form or fathom any words at her request. Fuck, FT control yourself.
I know Jo doesn't mind storms, she always said the storms here were nowhere near as bad as in Australia so her being scared can't be the reason for her request. Wait, is she starting to feel something like I am? Don't get your hopes up, FT. Jo lets go of my hand and climbs into the bed at the side closest to the door, sitting up waiting for me to join her as I close the door behind us.
"You're sure?" I ask, my back still turned towards her. I hear her hum and pat the free side of her bed, that's enough for me. I slowly walk over to the other side of the bed and slip in, pulling the duvet over the two of us.
As I lie down and adjust get comfortable, she surprises me as she rolls onto her side to face me and places her head on my chest, her arm folding itself across me, like she's holding onto me for dear life.
"Is this okay?" I sense the worry in her voice. I slowly fold my arms around her, curling one under her back so she's completely in my arms. This feels... right.
"Jo, look at me," she lifts her head up to me, her eyes droopy and heavy due to her tiredness. I place my hand on her cheek gently which she nuzzles into as she sighs. I lean down and place my lips on hers slowly, cautiously, only this time Jo leans up to meet me halfway and lifts her hand, placing it on my cheek, holding me to her. Her hand slowly works its way up into my locks, gliding through them as she did so easily before. I'm surprised again when Jo deepens our kiss, so I follow her lead, our lips dancing together in perfect sync. I've never felt anything like this from a kiss, a low ember in my stomach slowly building into a flame. Jo pulls away, looking down as her other hand has travelled onto my chest, her weight resting on me.
"This is perfect," she smiles softly and cuddles herself into my chest, allowing me to place one last kiss on the top of her head before I close my eyes, enjoying the feeling of her warmth against mine.
"Good night, Hero,"
"Good night, love."
-----------------------------------
Sorry to be such a tease, but I just couldn't help myself! I'm all about a slow burn in a romance story... but I won't keep you waiting forever.
The attention this story is slowly getting is absolutely crazy. I'm living for all your comments, they mean so much to me and I love reading them all. Please, please, please continue to leave them!
Don't forget to vote, comment and add me on Twitter, @LonelyGhost0701. See you in the next chapter 💜